


Whumptober 2020: Leaving Tonight

by Pebr



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bad Ending, Blood and Injury, Broken Bones, Gen, Head Injury, Hurt Leonardo (TMNT), Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Starvation, Torture, Unreliable Narrator, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26758774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pebr/pseuds/Pebr
Summary: Leonardo-centric drabbles for Whumptober 2020.
Comments: 80
Kudos: 150
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. The Exit (part 1/3)

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing something like this, the prompts are all so good! I'm trying to use all the prompts, but I'm combining them and using them in a bit of a random order. I'm not going to have the time to focus on all the prompts as much as I'd like to, but at least I've written something. This has been a nice break from all the multi-chapter fics I've been working on, but still a bit stressful because I'm not sure if I'll get everything finished in time!
> 
> Also, I get a bit embarrassed sharing super whumpy writing, but hey, that's the whole point this time, so here goes. :D Most of these are just drabbles, some have a good ending, some don't. None of the chapters are related to each other, but there is a small story beginning with chapter one and continuing in later chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for the first chapter:  
> No 1. Waking Up Restrained  
> No 2. Kidnapped  
> No 8. Isolation

Waking up to pain wasn’t anything new. But when consciousness returned without the memories of why everything ached and where all the countless bruises now felt were from, it _kind of_ tended to be a cause of alarm.

Leonardo’s thoughts were scattered, his mind confused as it slowly climbed back up from it’s unconscious state. The alarm on his mind was just a background noise; he wasn’t awake enough yet to panic about not remembering what had happened to him. Not until he realized he couldn’t move- his legs were bent and restrained, his knees pressing against something solid. The back of his head and his shell were also pressed up against something. His hands were tied together in front of him, and even if they hadn’t been, he couldn’t really move them due to the small space he was in. He finally snapped his eyes open, only to see nothing. Wherever he was, it was crammed, making him unable to move, and dark. He saw nothing but pure darkness, not even a flicker of light.

He tugged at his hands, finding them tied firmly. There wasn’t enough room to properly try to free himself. Was he inside a… crate? The surface around him felt wooden, but he was in no position to properly kick any of the walls with his legs tied together as well. He couldn’t straighten his legs at all. His muscles were cramped up; he must’ve been here for a while already. He did his best to relax his muscles, shifting his hands to try to make the ropes bite less into the skin on his wrists, but no matter what he did, he was uncomfortable.

Leonardo had no idea where he was, or who had him. Or where his brothers were. The thought of his brothers made him shut his eyes and bite back another wince- he remembered a fight, getting separated… not much else. Who had they been fighting? Were his brothers captured as well?

Lying absolutely still and silent, Leonardo listened. Quickly he came to the conclusion that wherever he was, he was alone. There were no sounds coming from outside the crate. That had to mean that the crate was inside some building, for there was no noise of traffic. There was no movement or another person breathing either, no pipes in the walls carrying water, no electronic devices humming, nothing. Absolutely nothing.

All he could smell was the wood his prison was made out of. There wasn’t anything to go by; nothing to give him clues to where he was being kept, or who was behind this.

Taking a deep breath, Leonardo did his best to focus. He went past hearing and smelling, focusing simply on feeling. If his brothers were captured as well, maybe he could feel their spiritual energy.

He lay there for a good while looking for them, only for it to sink in that he was completely alone. Which was a good thing- if his brothers weren’t captured, they were most likely looking for him already. Unless they had been hurt in the fight. Leonardo frowned; why was it so difficult to remember?

He hadn’t felt his brothers, and couldn’t feel any humans either. Which was strange. Wouldn’t his captors want to be here to monitor him? To taunt him? To question or... dissect him? 

Unless… unless they weren’t interested in any of that. A thought struck him, making him take his next breath slowly, carefully. Were there holes for air in the crate? Was the meaning of this to simply leave him for dead? Not every human wanted to know about them or see what made them tick. Some of their enemies, mostly some gang members whose missions they had crashed one too many times, would simply want them out of the picture, dead. They weren’t interested in anything else.

Or maybe they were. Maybe this was some kind of a payback, to leave him here to suffer, to slowly suffocate to death.

But no, if there was no way for air to pass, he would’ve noticed it by now. Suffocating him wasn’t the purpose of the crate. Then what was? Had it been used to move him somewhere? If so, how far from the city was he? Or had it just been used as an extra measure to prevent his escape? There were so many possibilities, and he didn’t have a single clue of what was going on.

As time went by, the pain in his muscles only grew. Being unable to move and lying in such a difficult position was slowly starting to drive him mad, and maybe _that_ was the whole idea behind the crate. He was kept here to isolate him, to let him slowly suffer with his aches and cramped up muscles. With no knowledge of when, if ever, he’d be released, he was becoming desperate to get out of here. Maybe they were softening him up so that he would become eager for his release, eager for something, _anything,_ to happen, even if that was something bad. He’d honestly rather take a beating than this, lying here in the silence, with nothing to do but to agonize over not knowing what had happened to his family. 

Even knowing who had him would’ve helped. At least then he could try to prepare himself for what was to come. This just didn’t feel like something the Purple Dragons or the Foot would do. They didn’t usually stall for time like this. They’d take every opportunity to hurt him and his brothers, beat them until they answered the questions they wanted them to answer. When they had first captured one of his brothers, they had wanted to know what they were, where he came from. Nowadays they would just ask where to find the rest of the family, so that they could get rid of all of them. 

What if he had been left alone for so long because they were busy torturing his brothers? The thought made him feel sick, made him struggle against his restraints again, but the outcome was the same as before.

Eventually he lay still again, knowing his struggles were just a waste of his energy. Hours passed, and everything remained the same in the dark crate. The one thing that did change was that it was getting hotter in the confined space. Leonardo’s thoughts weren’t much clearer than they had been after waking up, and his breathing had become shallow; maybe there really wasn’t enough air in here. Hunger came and went. More time passed. Maybe he had been left here to starve and wither away. 

At some point, Leonardo fell asleep. He didn’t wake up to sounds or the crate moving, no, the discomfort he was in was the thing to wake him up. When he opened his eyes, it was just as dark as before. He was sweating, which meant losing fluids faster. His throat was dry and he felt dizzy. He exhaled slowly. 

His thoughts went back to the same circle. How long had he been here already? Where were his brothers? Were they alright?

Were they coming for him?

Was he going to die in this crate?

Even now, he didn’t panic. That wasn’t something he did, having taught himself to keep a calm mind even in dire situations. It didn’t mean he didn’t panic sometimes, but now it was less about control and more about the exhaustion he felt. Panicking would only wear him out faster. He had to hold on, wait for rescue- or whatever his captors had planned for him next.

If their tactic really was to make him eager for their arrival, it was working. The loss of his senses was making him focus on the way his stiff body ached. He wanted to stretch out so badly. Lying still in one position for this long was torture.

The total silence was also eating at him. With three brothers it rarely got quiet in their lair, so he was used to their loud presence. But silence wasn’t unusual either. He was used to solitude, often sought it and took comfort in it whenever he meditated. He had traveled a long way alone on his trip to Japan to visit the Ancient One- isolation wouldn’t be the thing to do him in. He knew what loneliness was. He knew how to be alone. He knew it well. He handled it well. He… 

Wanted to hear them _so badly,_ wanted to know if they were alright. With a frustrated cry, he wriggled against his restraints. Tried to kick the side of the crate, but positioned like this, there just wasn’t any power behind the move. He wanted out. He just wanted out. 

He hadn’t spoken a word, thinking the crate was monitored, not wanting to say anything before he knew who had him. But if they were playing the waiting game, maybe they would think they had won if he finally spoke. Maybe they would finally get him out of here. 

Maybe he just wanted to hear _something,_ even if it was just his own voice.

“Guys…” Leonardo uttered, surprised how raspy his voice was. No wonder; he hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for a long while. He swallowed a few times, trying to get rid of the dry feeling in the back of his throat. “Guys, I’m here. A rescue would be nice right about… now.”

He was met with silence. Always with the silence. He leaned his head forward and hit the back of it against the crate, just to make some sound. Just to make something happen. He winced when he moved his head back down; now his head ached as well. Guess he really was losing it in here. 

He slept again. The next time he woke up, he did so slowly, probably running a low grade fever judging by the way he felt. His body wasn’t handling the rising temperature of the crate, the tight space and the lack of food very well. Nobody had checked on him, how did his captors even know if he was alive? Maybe they didn’t care. Maybe he had really been left here to die.

When he heard footsteps outside the crate, his heart leaped. He heard the muffled sound of a shoe hitting the surface of the floor, so it wasn’t any of his brothers, yet that didn’t diminish the excitement that had woken up in his chest. Once the crate opened, he would probably be met with more pain- but the crate would be open. He would get _out._ After the endless hours, it was all he cared about. 

The footsteps stopped right next to the crate, and Leonardo almost asked them to hurry up. Only almost- he wasn’t _that_ far gone. The amount of excitement he was feeling finally registered to his hazy brain, and he fought to calm himself, feeling somewhat disappointed in himself that he was reacting so strongly. That he had allowed the isolation to affect him so.

Snuffing out the emotions, he kept his face stony when the lid of the crate was opened.

* * *

Leonardo couldn’t deny it- fresh air had felt amazing. Even better had been to finally straighten out his limbs. The first seconds had been torture, as his stiff joints protested the movement, but as blood had been allowed to properly flow again he had felt an intense relief. 

He had been blindfolded and dragged away from the crate. Thanks to the restraints and his stiff limbs, struggling had been useless. As strong as his relief had been, worry had quickly replaced it. He hadn’t been allowed to see his captors, and they hadn’t said a word. He still didn’t know who had him. He didn’t know where he was being taken to, and he didn’t ask.

Only when he was pushed forward and he landed down on his plastron did a sound escape him. A small, muffled wince as his still tied hands were crushed under his weight, as his still sore body connected with the floor.

“Leo?”

The voices of his three brothers made him snap his eyes open, but of course he saw nothing, still being blindfolded. Something was placed down on the floor next to him, and then he heard the creak of a door as it was closed behind him.

“Leo? Leo, is that you?”

His brothers asked for him frantically when he didn’t answer. He could hear chains clinking as his brothers moved somewhere near him. Clearing his throat, Leonardo tried to push himself up on his knees.

“I’m here,” Leonardo said, his voice barely audible because of his dry mouth. His brothers hadn’t sounded any better, so they hadn’t been fed either. 

Emotions welled inside of him again. Hearing his brothers was such a bliss- he had been so worried, fearing for the worst. 

Yet to hear them here meant that they were captured as well. They had to be hurt. But… but they were alive, and he was so close to them. He wanted to see them, he _had_ to see them.

His hands were bound with metal, but he could still use his fingers. He lifted them up to his face, easily getting rid of the blindfold. The room was dim, but not completely dark. Weak light poured in from another room, showing Leonardo that he was now in a cell with bars between him and the rest of the room. On his other side…

His brothers. They were shackled to the wall behind them, their hands held above their heads. They were able to sit on the floor, meaning that the position wasn’t as painful as it could’ve been, but their arms had to be sore. They were all blindfolded, explaining why they hadn’t known he was here until they had heard his muffled voice. There wasn’t much light, but he could see that they weren’t injured, not bleeding, only bruised.

Moving was difficult, but doable. Leonardo dragged himself to the closest brother, which happened to be Michelangelo. His breath got caught in his throat when he got close enough to touch him. He was really here- captured, but alive. His brothers were alive.

“Leo,” Michelangelo breathed, weak, yet relieved once he felt him close. “Dude…”

“It’s okay, Mikey,” Leonardo told him softly, even as he felt a crushing weight on his heart. His brothers must’ve been having the same hopes that he had had- hopes of being rescued. They hadn’t seen him yet, didn’t know he was a prisoner just as they were. They thought he was here to rescue them. The moment their blindfolds came off, they’d be crushed with disappointment.

But there was nothing he could do to prevent that. Who knew how long they had been without sight, just as he had? Leonardo lifted his tied hands, awkwardly undoing Michelangelo’s blindfold.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” It was a struggle to get the words out, and not just because of his sore throat. It hurt to disappoint them, it hurt to crush the hope they had no doubt felt for a moment. “I’m not here to get you out.”

The blindfold fell off, and Michelangelo blinked his eyes open. The moment he took in the sight of Leonardo, he tried to lean forward, only for his shackles to stop him.

“Leo, bro, you don’t know how good it is to see you,” Michelangelo sighed, sounding utterly relieved instead of disappointed, and Leonardo had to blink at him. Hadn’t he heard what he had just said? That he wasn’t here to rescue them?

“We were so worried,” Donatello said from the side, exhaling shakily. “We had no idea why they didn’t bring you here with us, so we thought…”

“Way ta scare us, Fearless,” Raphael mumbled. “Did they hurt ya?”

It finally sunk in that his brothers had worried about him the way he had worried about them. It didn’t make Leonardo feel any less guilty that he was a prisoner just like them, but he couldn’t help the warm feeling spreading across his chest. They had missed him just as he had missed them.

“No, I’m fine,” Leonardo answered quietly, doing his best to not feel guilty that he was. 

“What happened, Leo?” Donatello asked. “What did they do to you?”

“I’m not sure,” Leonardo said, slightly disappointed that his brothers didn’t seem to have any more information about their capture than he did. He paused for a moment before continuing, answering Donatello’s second question. “They didn’t do anything to me, simply kept me in another room for some reason.”

It was better to leave out the part about the crate; sharing that served no purpose. He wasn’t sure if his brothers bought his answer, but if they had more questions, he couldn’t answer them. He had no idea why they had kept him in that crate; yes, it had been mental torture… but for what purpose? To his shame he had to admit that the confined space had started to get to him, but if that had been their goal, wouldn’t they just have left him there? Why was he allowed to see his brothers?

Michelangelo was still trying to lean closer, and Leonardo realized what his brother was trying to do. Mikey was a hugger, often showed affection with physical contact- Leo wasn’t sure if his brothers had been prisoners for as long as he had, but they must’ve been going crazy the same way he had. Mikey was desperate for some closeness, some comfort.

With his hands still tied, Leonardo wasn’t quite sure how to give him that. But he saw how the chains around Michelangelo’s wrists pulled at his skin- he had to put a stop to that, so he leaned forward until his shoulder touched Mikey’s, his tied hands touching his other shoulder. Gently he pressed Mikey back so that his chains weren’t so tight, so that his brother didn’t need to strain himself to be close. 

Mikey answered the touch immediately in the only way he could, by pressing his beak against the crook of Leo’s neck. Leo held him the best he could, his thumbs rubbing the skin on Mikey’s shoulder. He didn’t know which one of them took more comfort in the position; he had craved this as well, to escape the silence and loneliness of the crate, to know his brothers were alright.

And well, they weren’t, but now that Leo was out of the crate, he had even a chance to figure out how to get his brothers out of here.

“Are you hurt, Mikey?” Leo asked softly as he basked in the presence of his brother.

“No, just really sore,” Mikey mumbled against his neck. “And hungry.”

Leo nodded against the side of Mikey’s head. His gaze slid to his other two siblings, still blindfolded. Both of them had their heads turned to them, but remained motionless otherwise, seemingly having figured out that there was nothing they could do to free themselves. But Leo felt the anxiety radiating from them, knew they were waiting for their turns to get the blindfolds off.

Leo lifted his head up to look at Mikey’s restrained hand. Was getting the blindfold really all he could do for them now? He lifted his hands from Mikey’s shoulder to his wrist, but his restraint was solid metal. With no tools, it would be impossible for him to get Mikey free. He couldn’t even free his own hands.

Leo didn’t want to move away from Mikey, but he wanted to get to Don and Raph too. The moment he pulled away from Mikey his brother tried to follow, the chains rattling again as he moved as far from the wall as he could.

“Mikey,” Leo said softly, his heart painfully tight. He glanced at their brothers, and Mikey seemed to understand, pulling back with a small nod.

“Yeah, sorry,” Mikey answered, sounding slightly embarrassed. “Man, it’s so nice to see again. Thanks, Leo.”

Getting thanked for simply removing the blindfold did nothing to make the leader feel better. Awkwardly he moved himself to the next brother.

“Hey, Don. How are you holding up?” Leo asked quietly as he lifted his hands to free Don of his blindfold. His eyes were going over his brother, checking him for injuries.

Just like Mikey, Don blinked rapidly after there was nothing over his eyes. Leo wasn’t quite sure what to do- try to hug him like he had done with Mikey? Or just… just stay here for a moment before he went to Raph?

The moment Don managed to keep his eyes open and their eyes met, Leo didn’t have to think of what to do. He leaned against Don and pressed the side of his face against Don’s, doing his best to hold him close, once again taking in the fact that his brothers really were alive. By the way Don leaned against him, his brother was doing the same, answering the hug as best as he could with his hands tied.

“Oh, Leo,” Don breathed against him. “It really was torture to not know if you were alright. I’m so glad you’re here. Well, not glad that you’re caught, too, but-”

“You’re glad I’m here even though I’m not here to bust you out?” Leo asked with a sad smile.

“We’re just glad you’re _alive,_ dude!” Mikey said, his chains rattling as he shifted.

“I was so worried, too,” Leo said quietly, holding onto Don’s shoulder tightly. “Guys, I’m so-”

“Don’t, Leo,” Raph cut him off before he could even begin to apologize. “We all got caught. Just gotta figure out how ta get outta here, starting with these chains-”

As if to make a point, Raph fought his chains, the metal rattling loudly against the wall as he struggled. Leo pulled away from Don to look at him, to move over to stop him before he hurt himself anymore than he already had- but Raph had already eased his struggling, simply leaning against his chains, giving out a quiet huff. It told the leader that Raph had tried that countless times already, and by now he knew that his struggles were useless.

Or maybe he was just too exhausted to keep up the struggle for longer than that. Leonardo’s heart ached again, and he leaned back against Donatello, shifting his fingers on his shoulder so that he could feel the pulse on his neck. They were exhausted and hurt, but alive. There was still time. He’d get them out of here.

Leonardo stayed with Donatello for another moment before he finally had to pull away. He stood kneeling in front of his brother for a moment longer, just looking at his face, glad to see him alright- well, not alright, but he could’ve really been worse in this situation.

Then he moved to the last brother, carefully removing his blindfold. Once his brother had had a chance to look around, Leo leaned forward so that their foreheads touched.

“Did they hurt you?” Leo asked quietly. Even if his brothers didn’t have any visible injuries, they could’ve hurt them in the same manner they had hurt him. And they _had,_ by shackling them and leaving them in here. Even if they had done something more, Leo doubted his brother would admit to it, thinking the way he did- not wanting to worry him for nothing. Yet he still asked.

Raph shook his head, just as Leo had expected. It wasn’t the truth, but again, Leo knew that things could be a lot worse. 

“They just left us here, which I don’t get,” Raph mumbled. “What the hell do they want?”

“I don’t know,” Leo answered, pulling away only to look Raph in the eyes again. He did his best to give him a reassuring look. “But we’re not sticking around to find out.”

Exhaustion was clear in Raph’s eyes, yet he gave him a small smirk. “Ya got something figured out yet?”

He didn’t. He also didn’t lie, yet he couldn’t tell the truth either, not wanting to discourage his brothers. “I’m working on it.” 

Raph nodded, and the sincere trust in his eyes made Leo steel himself. Failure had never been an option, and it wasn’t an option now. No matter what, he would get his brothers out.

“What did they bring with you, Leo?”

Mikey’s question made Leo look away from Raph at him. Following his gaze back to the door of the cell, he saw the small container left there. Now he recalled something being placed next to him when he had been tossed into the cell.

Having only one way to find out, Leo moved away from Raph. He had a feeling the container would hold nothing pleasant, so he was careful when he touched it. Lifting the lid, he found a small bottle of water and some bread inside.

Leo’s stomach ached at the sight of food. He was starving, but at the same time he had been hungry for so long that now his stomach just hurt, making the idea of food not that pleasant. But even if his mind was wary of food, his stomach demanded it now that it was right in front of him.

Taking the container in his hands, he ignored his hunger. Moving had been difficult before, but now with the item in his hands, it was even more difficult. He felt pathetic crawling back towards his brothers, but there was nothing he could do about it now. 

He started with Mikey, who was looking at him curiously. “What is it?”

Once Leo was kneeling properly in front of his brother, he lifted the bottle of water out of the container. Mikey’s eyes beamed.

“Dude, I didn’t think I’d _ever_ be so happy about seeing water.” The chains rattled again as Mikey made an attempt to take the bottle, his face falling slightly when he remembered he wouldn’t be able to grab it. “Oh. Um…”

“I’ll help you,” Leo told him, opening the bottle. Before lifting it up to Mikey, he took a small sip himself, just to see if it had any odd taste to it. It would make no sense for their captors to poison them at this point, but Leo wouldn’t be surprised if something strange had been added to the drink.

Tasting nothing weird, Leo moved the bottle towards Mikey. His throat ached, his body demanding more after the smallest of sips, but Leo was determined to let his brothers drink first.

When he grabbed the bread, Leonardo’s thoughts wandered. At least their captors weren’t going to let them die of hunger, but the amount of bread wouldn’t be nearly enough to take away their hunger. It seemed that their captors wouldn’t let them die, but they would let them starve. Starving was the better option, of course, but still not a good one. Leonardo didn’t feel relieved about being able to bring food to his brothers, for he wasn’t able to give them nearly enough.

Mikey didn’t think twice about taking the bread given to him, even if he had to eat it from Leo’s hand. Mikey could eat food off the floor, so he wasn’t too bothered by it. But once Leo moved onto his other two brothers, he was met with hesitation. Despite the awful hunger Leo knew they were feeling, Don stared at the bread before taking a careful bite. The way they had to eat wasn’t pleasant for any of them, but they ignored their discomfort of the situation for survival.

Raph was the most hesitant to take his share, but hunger ended up deciding for him. After Raph had had some water, Leo drank his share of it, and was in the middle of giving the rest to Raph when they heard footsteps.

Turning around to look at the door, he saw the same men who had taken him here not even an hour ago. Their faces were still hidden, not revealing who they were. He heard Raph growl lowly, and placed a hand on his arm without taking his eyes off of the men. It was best to remain calm. 

One of the men lifted a gun, and it was pointed right at him between the bars of the cell. He knew he wouldn’t be fast enough to dodge- not when he was restrained like this. And if he moved, they would just hit Raph instead of him. His brothers shouted for him, but he didn’t even attempt to move. 

Something hit him in the arm- not a bullet, but a small dart. With his tied hands, it was impossible to yank it out, the dart free to empty its contents into his bloodstream.

His world spinned immediately. Whatever had been injected into him worked quickly, taking away his balance. He tipped sideways before falling onto the floor. He didn’t lose consciousness, could see the men opening the door, could still weakly move his hands. He tried to plant them against the floor so that he could push himself up, but he was suddenly weak, unable to stop the men when they grabbed his arms and started to drag him away. 

“ _Leo!_ ”

“ _Don’t touch him, bastards!_ ”

His brothers were yelling for him, fighting their restraints. Leo couldn’t answer them, his vision blurry, ears ringing. The sound of chains clicking against the stone wall faded, and the next time Leo’s vision focused, he saw the all too familiar crate in front of him.

_No, no._

Was _this_ the torture? To take him to his brothers, only to immediately take him away from them and take him back here?

His weak struggling did nothing as they forced him back into the dark and confined space. When the lid was closed, the drugs were taking over everything, making the space seem smaller, making him hyperfocus on the all too familiar silence, making his desperation that much harder to bear.

There were no rational thoughts this time. There was nothing but him and the dark void he was trapped in, nothing but the feeling of not having enough air, the feeling of utter, trapped helplessness. Nothing but the image of his shackled brothers, nothing but their disappointment in him for he was losing himself to this simple form of torture. What was he if he caved like this? What was he if he let the panic in, allowed the drugs to take over?

Nothing made sense. He was in a _crate_ and it felt like it was the end for him.

In his desperation to get out he clawed at the wooden walls until splinters tore the skin on his fingers, until the drugs numbed his hands and all he could do was to lay still again. He couldn’t even open his mouth to scream, completely trapped.

He was in a crate, and maybe it _was_ the end for him.


	2. Unarmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 12. Broken bones  
> No 23. Sleep deprivation   
> No 28. Accidents

“Leo, come on... This thing I’m working on, it’s really important-”

“You say that every time,” Leonardo cut him off, his arms crossed over his chest. He was standing by the lab’s door, wearing a slight frown as he looked at his brother sitting in front of his computer. “I gave you two options, so choose.”

Donatello had been looking towards the doorway, but turned back to the computer now. He stared at the numbers on the screen, part of the project he had been working on for almost 48 hours now. The others were just starting their morning practice, and Leonardo had given him the choice to to either go to bed or join them for some light exercise. Leonardo obviously preferred he’d get some sleep, but would be fine with simply getting him out of the lab. Probably hoping that the exercise would tire him out and force him to bed.

The thing was that he would be fine without sleep until he’d get his work finished. He was used to working non-stop, and he had coffee. But he knew Leonardo wouldn’t budge until he left the lab, and if he chose to go to bed, his tyrant brother would take away his alarm clock the second he fell asleep to make sure he didn’t simply get up an hour later.

Donatello knew his brother simply worried for him, but he couldn’t help feeling annoyed. He’d have time to sleep later, so he didn’t see the problem. He felt irritated enough to simply stay in his chair and let Leonardo drag him out of the lab if he wanted him to take a break so badly, but ended up placing his pen down and sighing deeply. 

“Fine,” he said, managing to speak calmly. _Fine,_ he’d take the exercise, and then he’d return back to his work.

Donatello followed Leonardo into the dojo, where he was forced to kneel down and watch as Leonardo started by facing Raphael for some sparring. Immediately Donatello’s foul mood grew worse – why did he need to be here for this? Leonardo could’ve asked him to come when it was his turn, but now he had to sit here and waste time. “Watch and learn” was what he was supposed to be doing, but his mind kept wandering back to his project. There was so much to do, important updates to run, crucial installations to start...

His brothers were sparring with weapons, and the clanging of steel against steel kept interrupting his thoughts. The sounds weren’t helping his headache either. _Maybe_ he had been staring at a screen for too long, for the headache had only been getting worse during the past few hours. He didn’t usually get this irritated either, having a more peaceful nature. But now Don formed his hands into fists. This wasn’t fair. He understood that he needed to take breaks, understood that he was supposed to join his brothers for training (he admitted he _needed_ the practice) but to waste his time like this, by sitting still, waiting for his turn? Why couldn’t he face Mikey while Leo sparred with Raph?

Because when they sparred like this, Leo would need to _observe_ their fight in order to tell them what needed correcting, how they could improve. His advice was usually helpful and welcomed, but right now Don didn’t want to hear it. Only wanted to have his turn and get back to work.

Yet he was starting to realize that it would be a long time until he could return to his lab. Even after his turn he’d be ordered back to the side to keep watching as it would be Mikey’s turn to fight Raph. Precious time trickled by.

Finally Raph went down. Don moved to get up from the floor, but paused when he saw Leo help Raph back up. They weren’t finished yet, and Don wanted to bang his head against the wall behind him. This was _that_ kind of a training session – even though the sparring itself was fairly light, it wasn’t enough that the other was taken down. Raph would have to continue until he’d take Leo down, and only then it’d be Don’s turn. Luckily Raph seemed to be eager to have Leo on the floor instead, as he always was. So maybe, _maybe_ this would be over quickly. 

But what about when it was his turn? Even though his mind worked just fine under the sleep deprivation he currently had, his body wouldn’t work as well. He knew he would be slower than Leo when he was like this. He had been sitting in his chair for hours while Leo had been glued to the dojo as usual. Facing Leo wouldn’t be easy for him, even after Raph wearing him down. Their sparring was too light to really tire Leo. 

How many rounds would he have to suffer? Leo would know if he gave up on purpose, and then he’d just make him face him again. And even if Don gave him a good run, but didn’t win, he’d have to go again. And again, until Leo went down, or just had enough. Well, Leo wasn’t cruel, so he usually gave them some slack if it was obvious they weren’t at their best. Yet Don knew that the whole point why he was here was that Leo would try to tire him out so that he’d go to bed instead of returning to his lab, so he’d probably have to do at least a few rounds.

Which meant that his only way to get out of here quickly was to _not_ Leo tire him out. He had to beat Leo as fast as possible. But how could he do that? They were fighting with their weapons, and Leo with his swords was a real challenge. Don had good reach with his bō, but Leo knew that and knew how to fight him. 

He’d have to do something even the leader wouldn’t expect. 

Raph managed to capture Leo’s katana between his sai, twisting Leo’s hand to the side, managing to get him down with a kick. Leo went down but smiled up at him, taking the hand Raph offered, standing up again.

“Great work, Raph. Don, you’re up next.”

Leo hadn’t been in a good mood when he had come to get Don from the lab; he never was when Don was overworking himself. But now, after the workout with Raph, he didn’t seem as stiff and serious. His posture was relaxed as he shook the hand Raph had twisted, but then he fell back to defense as he waited for Don to take the initiative.

And Don was more than willing to do just that. His determination must’ve been visible on his face, for Leo looked pleasantly surprised when their eyes met. Well then, if he managed to win fast, this would be a win for both of them- Don would get out of here faster, and Leo would see that even when he was sleep deprived, he could still fight. Leo would see that he wouldn’t need to worry so much. It would be a win-win situation.

Don stepped forward, dashing towards his brother. He didn’t go full in, not yet- tried to half-heartedly stab at his brother with his wooden weapon, and Leo danced out of the way easily. The leader lifted a brow at that, seeming to have noticed that despite Don’s focused expression, he hadn’t put much effort into the attack.

Don dodged the sword coming at him, swinging his bō. Leo stepped away again, immediately returning the attack. Don met the swords with his staff, but Leo managed to slip past his defenses and sent a kick to his plastron. Don rolled backwards, recovering from the hit, standing back up. He deflected another attack from the swords, striking back with his bō. They fell into a steady rhythm, one that was easy to follow, but made a good work-out. It was almost pleasant, their bodies dancing around each other, Leo not going too hard against him but still keeping him in constant motion. 

But the lab was calling to him, and Don was eager to answer the call. He backed away, breathed a little harder than he actually needed to, making it seem like he’d need to back away more. Making Leo follow, making him think that this was his opportunity to strike. And when he took the opportunity and jumped closer, Don answered by breaking into a run, heading straight towards his brother, gathering all his strength for his next blow. His bō would hit Leo’s swords, the force enough to rip them from Leo’s hands. He’d jump him, take him down and end this fast. He’d take Leo by surprise with the sudden brutal strength he put into the swing, and the leader would have nothing to say as Don would tell him he’d go back to his lab to continue where he had left off. 

Don’s bō hit, and Leo’s grip on his swords was immediately lost, just as he had planned. But instead of hitting the swords, the weapon connected with Leo’s hands. His knuckles gave a sickening _crack,_ the heavy weapon slamming against them full force, _definitely_ not as planned.

With a pained cry Leo backed away, bringing his hands close to his plastron, twisting his body away from Don as if to protect himself and his hands. Almost like he expected Don to go for more blows. Don’s heart fell, and so did his bō. It clattered to the floor as Don hurried closer to his brother, trying to see the damage. Raph was the strongest of them, but Don wasn’t far behind, carrying heavy machinery almost daily- he knew what kind of damage his bō was capable of. They never went all out during weapon practice, especially with some light exercise like this, yet... 

“Leo!” Mikey and Raph had jumped up from the side, hurrying closer as well. Don’s hand reached Leo’s shoulder, hesitantly moving him from his hunched position, revealing his hands to them. Leo was holding them up awkwardly, still close to himself. Immediately they could tell that he was in a lot of pain, his stiff body language telling them that, his gritted teeth, tense muscles – and the already swelling knuckles. They were starting to bruise, the other one looking worse, the skin slightly torn from the force of the hit. 

Don knew just how hard his bō hit. He had cracked and broken bones with it. Leo’s knuckles had to be at least fractured, if not outright broken.

_Both_ of them.

“C’mon, medbay,” Raph was saying, bringing Don from his horrified thoughts. Raph’s hand was on Leo’s other shoulder, and he was already starting to guide Leo out of the dojo. Don opened his mouth to say something, to _apologize,_ but he knew that it was more important to get to the medbay and get the medical supplies ready. He stumbled to get his feet working, and led the way, his heart still in the bottom of his stomach.

The way he fumbled with gauze was uncharacteristic of him, but he was too shocked over the fact that he had caused this. Bruising each other in the dojo was the norm, even accidental cuts happened, but hurting his brother like _this?_ Actually hurting him, no, _breaking-_ he had broken Leo’s hands. What kind of a brother did that? It had been an accident, those happened, but an accident of this scale? An accident that could’ve been easily avoided had he not been so- so annoyed. 

And what had he been annoyed about? He knew they had to train. It wasn’t his place to get cranky about it. It wasn’t like Leo had randomly interrupted him for some surprise training- it had been a scheduled thing. A thing he had already dodged too many times, always finding an excuse to stay in his lab. His work was important, but their training was essential for their survival. How could he take care of himself if he was rusty in a battle? How could he protect his brothers? Leo was looking out for them, but Don had only cursed him in his mind every time the door of the lab had opened. It couldn’t have been pleasant for Leo either, to come and interrupt him and argue about something they had previously agreed on, over and over again.

Leo had been doing his duty, looking after them, and what did he get for it? Broken hands.

“What the shell happened?” Mikey was asking, Don still staring down at the gauze in his hands. Oh, that was easy to answer. He had broken Leo’s hands- he couldn’t stop repeating it in his mind. He had _broken_ them-

“Don, snap out of it,” Raph harshly told him, snagging the gauze from his hands. Leo was sitting on the edge of the nearest cot, and with rare gentleness Raph grabbed his right wrist, inspecting his fingers. Leo flinched from the contact, couldn’t quite bite back the quiet moan of pain.

“Uh, painkillers,” Don mumbled, trying to keep his head in the moment. Mikey stopped him from moving towards the cabinet where their medicine was stored.

“Already gave him some,” Mikey told him softly, his eyes showing his worry. “Maybe you should sit down, Donnie...”

When had Mikey done that? How long had he just stood there, doing nothing? He tried to meet Leo’s eyes, to see how much wrath his brother held towards him, but Leo was looking down at his hand as Raph treated it. _He doesn’t even want to look at me,_ Don realized, and suddenly it was difficult to breathe. _I’m sorry,_ he wanted to say, but nothing came out.

“Or maybe you should _lie_ down.” Mikey grabbed his arm and tried to turn him towards the door of the medbay. “When’s the last time you slept, Don?”

Why was Mikey worrying for _him?_ Don kept staring at Leo, who still wasn’t looking at him. 

“Hey, come on, Raph’s got this.” Mikey tugged at his arm gently, and Don allowed Mikey to guide him away, too numb to stop him, but he looked back over his shoulder before leaving the room. Leo was leaning against Raph’s shoulder, his breathing harsh and too fast, the painkillers not having taken effect yet.

Don tore his gaze away. Mikey was leading them towards the lab. The lab, where Leo surely wouldn’t come in a while to interrupt him. He wouldn’t be able to, wouldn’t be able to do _anything,_ while Don could work all he wanted. Hadn’t he gotten what he had wanted? Don froze in place, making Mikey stop as well.

“Not the lab,” Don mumbled, unable to see his work right now. 

“Donnie…” Mikey sounded sad, trying to meet his eyes, but Don refused to look at him. “It was an accident, you know that.”

“I wanted it over fast,” Don said quietly. “So that I could get back to work.”

“You didn’t mean to hurt him, Don.”

Of course he hadn’t. He hadn’t, right? He hadn’t been that annoyed, had he? He never liked injuring anyone, and now he-

Mikey pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him. It took Don a moment to accept the hug, but hesitantly he answered it, exhaling tiredly against his little brother’s shoulder.

* * *

“Anyone normal would’ve passed out by now.” Raphael had just entered his room and was walking towards his bed. “What do ya put in yer coffee?”

“Nothing,” Donatello mumbled, lying on his bed, staring at his wall. It had been almost an hour since the incident, after Michelangelo had forced him to lie down. But even though he could now feel how worn down his body was, his mind was still wide awake. How _could_ he sleep after what had happened?

“Right.” Raph scoffed, sitting down on the edge of his bed. Don turned his head to glance at him.

“How much damage?” he asked quietly.

“His right hand is just swollen, probably fractured. It’ll heal just fine,” Raph said. When he didn’t continue, Don frowned at him.

“And?”

“Well…” Raph was usually pretty straightforward, and this time was no exception. “Ya messed his left hand pretty good. Broke two fingers.”

Don lowered his gaze. Two broken fingers for a hand that only had three was pretty bad. Broken bones healed, nothing irreversible had happened, but it wasn’t like they could go into a hospital and get the break treated properly. They knew how to fix broken bones, had done it before, but it was never a guarantee that the injury wouldn’t leave lasting effects. If the bones didn’t heal correctly, Leo could have lasting trouble using his fingers. And he knew it would be _devastating_ for their sword-wielding leader. 

“ _Hey._ He’s gonna be fine- yer moping for nothin’.” Raph stood up, but remained standing next to the bed. “He wanted ta see ya. He was going to come here himself, but I didn’t let him. I think Mikey gave him a bit too much for the pain, so he’s a bit… unsteady on his feet.”

Raph gave a short snort after that, giving Don the feeling that Leo had attempted to walk and hadn’t been very successful. Not wanting to risk their brother falling over on top of everything, Don rolled out of the bed and followed Raph out of the room.

To his surprise, Raph didn’t lead him to the medbay. Instead they walked into the living room, where Leo was sitting on the couch, looking pretty comfortable surrounded with some pillows. Mikey was sitting with him, both of them watching the TV, but they turned to look at them when they entered the room.

Don felt himself tense when Leo looked at him. Quickly lowering his gaze, Don’s eyes fell on Leo’s hands. They were properly casted and bandaged, Leo’s left hand covered in white linen, both his hands resting in his lap on top of a soft-looking pillow.

“Mike, think ya could help me make some lunch?” Raph asked, and the youngest immediately jumped up from the couch.

“Dude, yes! I’m starving!” 

“It hasn’t been even two hours since we had breakfast,” Raph said dryly. Mikey ignored him, holding the TV remote in his hands, and as he neared the doorway he pushed it into Don’s hand. Mikey turned to glance back at the eldest, still sitting on the couch. “Watch out, Leo, Don has the remote now. He might make you watch the history channel until you fall asleep from boredom.”

Leo chuckled. “I wouldn’t mind the history channel.”

Mikey rolled his eyes and disappeared towards the kitchen. When Don stood frozen in the doorway, not understanding why everyone was acting so _casual,_ like nothing had happened, Raph gave his shell a push. Then he was gone as well, leaving Don alone with Leo.

Don held the TV remote with both hands, still staring at Leo’s hands. It was clear his brother wouldn’t be able to use his hands for… pretty much anything. That was why he was here, watching TV. Don knew his brother would much rather be reading, but he wasn’t sure if Leo could even turn a page of a book. That was the amount of damage he had done to his brother; he couldn’t even do something that simple. He’d rendered his hands useless.

“Don?”

Leo’s tone was questioning, and despite the softness of it, Don flinched. He felt _awful._ Wanted to apologize so badly, but didn’t know what to say when the damage was of this scale. Sorry I ruined _everything_ for you? Why had Leo even wanted to see him? To lecture him about how careless he had gotten? To tell how disappointed he was-

“Could you come sit with me?”

He couldn’t say no, couldn’t deny Leo anything ever again. Stiffly he walked around the couch and sat down, careful to keep his distance to Leo, not wanting to accidentally hurt him again. He hadn’t been there to treat Leo’s hands, didn’t know how sensitive they were, didn’t know if-

“Donnie, I’m sorry.” 

Don’s eyes snapped up to his brother. What? Why was _Leo_ sorry?

“What happened, it took me by surprise- I got careless, and now you’re obviously blaming yourself for this.”

Just a second ago, Don hadn’t wanted to even get close to his brother for fearing he’d hurt him. Now he wanted to give Leo a good smack on the back of his head for blaming _himself_ for this.

“Leo, we were just sparring, and I went _all out_ on that strike,” Don said, his voice both sad and bitter. “It’s lucky that your fingers are _just_ broken and not- Leo, I’m _so_ sorry. I was so fixated on that project, I didn’t care about anything else, I was just in a hurry to-”

“I knew your thoughts were elsewhere, yet I dragged you into the dojo. We were both acting stubbornly, and it resulted in an _accident._ Anything could’ve happened- you could’ve hurt yourself in your sleep-deprived state. It just happened that things went this way, and you can’t blame yourself for an accident, Don.”

“I decided to act the way I did, therefore it wasn’t an accident-”

“Did you _mean_ to hit my hands?”

Don immediately shook his head. “No, of course not, I just tried to unarm you-”

“Then there you go. You meant to do something, and the outcome wasn’t what you had intended. That’s an accident. I don’t blame you for anything, so why should you?”

“It’s both of your hands, and it’s going to take a while for you to heal,” Don said with a small voice, his eyes on Leo’s hands again. “It’s going to take time until- until you can hold your swords again, and I know how hard that is for you, and then there’s the pain-”

Leo laughed a little, leaning back against the couch. “I’ve had worse, Donnie, you know that. I’m not in any pain… thanks to Mikey overreacting.”

Don remembered what Raph had said, and took a better look at Leo’s face. Right, no wonder his brother was acting like this wasn’t a big deal- the painkillers Mikey had given him. He had used the stronger ones. Once they’d wear off and reality hit his brother…

“And the meds do not mean that I’m not aware that recovery is going to take a while. I know I’m not going to like it, but perhaps this is just a lesson of patience. So, I’ll be fine, Don. _Please_ stop blaming yourself.”

Easier said than done. Don sighed, taking yet another look at Leo’s bandages.

“Can you move the fingers of your right hand?”

Leo lowered his gaze to his hand as well. His fingers twitched slightly before moving, and Leo frowned slightly. The movement must’ve caused him some discomfort despite the painkillers.

“Yes,” Leo answered. Don nodded; that was good. He was able to relax slightly- perhaps his brother really would be alright.

“I’ll make something to make things easier for you while you recover,” Don promised. When Leo didn’t answer, Don lifted his gaze to see that Leo was looking at him with his eyes half-closed.

“Not before you get some rest,” Leo finally said, his voice slightly slurred. Now Don laughed a little, understanding why Raph had been amused before. It was an unusual sight to see Leo so relaxed, barely awake, words almost mixing together. The meds were really starting to kick in, making his brother tired. 

“I think you’re the one who should get some rest,” Don said, his voice still slightly sullen, watching as Leo struggled to keep his eyes open, fighting the sedating effect of his meds.

“We should both,” Leo mumbled, shifting a bit. He moved his arm in a way that was clearly an invitation for Don to come closer. Don blinked in surprise- Leo _wanted_ him close? There was a sudden ache in Don’s chest, for the image of Leo pulling away from him, shielding his hands from him was still painfully clear in his head.

“Would you stay with me?” Leo asked, his eyes already closed. Don was still unsure, still fearing Leo’s reaction once he was clear-headed again… but he knew his big brother. Even if he was slightly drugged, Don knew he had meant his words. Leo didn’t blame him for this. It would take time until Don would not feel guilty, but he was going to do his best to help Leo through this. So if Leo wanted him to stay, he’d stay. If he later changed his mind and didn’t want to have anything to do with Don- well. He doubted it, but if it happened, he’d deal with it then. But for now…

He put away the remote still in his hands and scooted closer to his big brother, carefully leaning against his side. Leo immediately leaned his head against his, sighing contently. Swallowing down the sudden emotions he felt, Don closed his eyes as well.

Once the only sound in the living-room was the quiet hum of the TV, Raph and Mikey peeked in. A blanket was carefully placed over the pair on the couch, the TV was shut, and then the making of lunch was finally started.


	3. Separation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 6. “Stop, please”  
> No 9. “Run!”  
> No 10. Blood Loss, Internal Bleeding

Leonardo should’ve known this was a trap.

Trying to stop Baxter Stockman’s newest creations had led them here. The building they were in looked like an ordinary cargo storage, but it did not contain anything ordinary. No, it had been mostly empty, but stored some of Stockman’s creations, the robots that had been causing havoc in the city during the last few days. Some of them were scrap metal already, the ones that had been activated and had been roaming around the city. The turtles had already taken care of them, and after Donatello had taken one of the robots apart, they had been able to track down this building. 

Baxter Stockman wasn’t stupid. The first time they had met him they had tracked him down by using his Mousers against him; Leonardo should’ve known he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. 

He should’ve known, but he hadn’t. The moment they had heard the small  _ clink  _ from the ceiling Leonardo had pushed Michelangelo and Raphael forward, managing to move them out of the way before something had slammed down onto the spot where they had been standing. Nearly getting hit by it himself, Leonardo had managed to jump back just in time to not get crushed by the glass-wall that now separated him from his brothers. 

The moment the wall had met the floor, he had heard the inactivated robots stored in the room come to life. They were human-shaped, but lacked any facial features. Strong, made out of smooth metal. Leonardo had ignored them, more focused on scanning the room, even though he had already mapped it in his mind the moment they had first entered the storage. The side of the room he was in was small, had no windows, no doors. 

It was a trap. Nothing but a trap.

Leonardo had drawn his swords, and the robots hadn’t hesitated to attack. But the room had been too small to properly fight them. Leonardo had managed to destroy a few of them before they had overpowered him. He hadn’t been able to fight all of them at once, and he had been driven against the wall with nowhere to go. 

Leonardo’s shell slammed against the glass with enough force for him to feel it through his carapace. Most glass would’ve broken, but not this one. Even with the force of the hit, the glass didn’t even crack. It was too strong, their weapons not leaving any marks on it. Raphael had hit it with his sai the moment it had separated them from Leonardo, was still slashing at it, but the outcome hadn’t changed. 

“Leo!” the turtle in red yelled as his sai connected with the glass once more. Why couldn’t he leave even a dent? The material between them wasn’t even thick enough to stop him from hearing how Leonardo grunted in pain as he tried to block another attack, then another-

“Donnie, any progress?” Michelangelo turned away from the glass, having given up on his search to find a weak spot. He hadn’t found any, and there was heavy distress in his voice as he came close enough to his brother to look over his shoulder. Donatello had found a small control panel from behind one of the old crates in the room, his fingers a blur as he worked on it. He didn’t answer the question. Bad sign. Donatello never passed a chance to talk about whatever he was working on- his silence was  _ very  _ bad.

Managing to dodge another punch to his head, Leonardo chanced looking over his shoulder. Raphael was right behind him, still beating the glass with his sai, but they could both tell it was useless. The glass held strong.

Leonardo knew that his side of the room wasn’t necessarily the only side trapped. Stockman had to know they were here, and knowing him, he didn’t want any of them escaping. More robots could be on their way. His brothers should be focusing on getting themselves out of here before they’d  _ all  _ be trapped.

“You have to go  _ now, _ guys!  _ Run! _ ” Leonardo yelled, this being the second time he gave the order. But of course they wouldn’t listen, Donatello didn’t look away from the panel, Raphael was still fighting the glass, and Michelangelo was back near the wall again, his eyes filled with worry as he looked through the transparent material. 

“Like  _ hell  _ we’ll just leave ya here!” Raph yelled back. Leonardo gritted his teeth, turning his attention back to his attackers and dodging another swipe aimed at his head. He was getting exhausted, while his enemies never tired. The clones had gotten in too many blows and cuts already. His body was bruised and bleeding, slowing him down. 

“I… I can’t get into the system.” Leonardo could hear Donatello just barely, as he was further away from the glass, still kneeling next to the control panel. “Nothing works- I need the master code before I can do anything.”

Out of the corner of his eye Leonardo saw Raphael punch the wall, saw how he flinched from the pain it caused. It was no use. They weren’t getting through. 

Leonardo’s mind raced. He wasn’t planning on getting further pummeled by these robots, but it was simply a fact that they were overpowering him, never growing weak while he tired. He knew his brothers weren’t going to leave, but knew they couldn’t get him out either if the control panel didn’t work. 

At this rate… if he didn’t think of something soon, if he didn’t find a way out, he wasn’t sure how long he could fight. His brothers could do nothing but watch him take blow after blow, managing to block some, but starting to grow too weak to move out of the way. Despite his weakening state, the robots weren’t giving him any slack. They wouldn’t stop until he went down, until he’d…

He couldn’t let that happen. He had to keep fighting. Maybe his brothers would find another way to get through, no material was unbreakable, the glass would have to crack at some point. He only had to hold on long enough to-

An inhumanely strong fist connected with his face and sent his head turning, the side of his face slamming against the unbreakable surface of the glass once more. Blood from his cracked lip splattered across the glass in a long streak, trickling down his chin as he slowly slumped down along the glass, too dazed to stay properly on his feet.

His head was spinning from the force of the blow. His name was being yelled, reminding him that his brothers were watching the beatdown he was receiving. He couldn’t fall here, had to keep going. Leonardo pressed his hand against the glass, only barely managing to keep himself on his feet. His fingers were wet with his blood, and they slid against the glass, not helping him stay balanced. Yet he pushed through the dizzy feeling and ducked under the next blow. When the clone missed his attack Leonardo saw his chance to slip past them, his chance to try and run, his chance to buy himself some time by attacking them from behind-

Another robot blocked his way, the next attack catching him in his side. More force was placed behind this one, leaving his lungs without air when it connected. His eyes widened when a cracking sound could be heard- and then everything was just pain, pain filling his whole side, traveling down to his stomach. Had he been able to draw in any air, he would’ve surely screamed. These robots were made for combat, they weren’t made out of flesh and bones, they were made of aluminum and metal. With just one well-placed punch the robot had cracked at least a few of his ribs, but the pain was horrid. Leonardo had had fractured ribs before, but it had  _ never  _ hurt like this. 

He hadn’t even heard his swords hit the floor, simply realized now that his hands were empty. He wasn’t moving now, and neither were the robots. They stood still around him, as if waiting for something. Leonardo could do nothing but take short, gasping breaths, eyes wide and mind silent, struggling to cope with the intensity of the pain. His legs trembled, finally giving out under him. He slid down, smearing the glass with his blood. 

Blood had caked over his face, his left eye swollen shut. His right eye could still see, and when he turned his head to the side, he saw the bloody streaks on the glass. Through the blood he saw his brothers. So close, yet so far. 

“Leo,” Mikey gasped when their eyes met. Mikey fell down onto his knees to be on level with him, placing his hand on the glass as if he could reach him that way. Raph’s fight against the glass had momentarily stopped when Leo had slumped against it, his sai still pressed against the surface between them as he, too, took in the beaten state of his brother. He couldn’t see Don, so maybe he was still by the control panel.

Leo closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see his brothers look at him that way, with that intense, helpless worry. These were just Stockman’s robots, why was he sitting here, broken and bloodied, when it had been just a simple mission? How could one wall have made it like this? His brothers were right there, so close he could feel them… yet all he felt was the cold glass against his swollen cheek.

It shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t.

After their relentless attack, the robots were now simply standing there, perhaps waiting for further commands. Did Stockman want them captured instead of dead? Leonardo groaned, tried to move, but his body was slow to respond. His hand lifted, searching for something, curling around nothing. His dropped swords were out of his reach.

“ _ Dammit! _ ”

Raph’s screaming and cursing made Leo open his eyes again. He was looking at the robots now, but could hear Raph moving behind him on the other side of the glass. The robots didn’t have eyes, but Leo noticed that their heads weren’t turned to him anymore. They were following Raph’s movements. One of them even shifted closer.

Leo blinked. Did these robots respond to movement? Did they not attack if the target didn’t move? Leo couldn’t test that, for he couldn’t get up from the floor. Not like he wanted to risk them attacking again, anyway. Turning his head again, Leo inhaled slowly and attempted to speak.

“Raph- try to… to get their… attention. Try to make them… see you.”

His voice was a bit shaky, but he was heard. Raph paused his pacing, clearly confused, before he walked further away from the spot where Leo was sitting. The robots twisted their heads towards him, and suddenly they were alert again, surging towards the spot where Raph was now standing. At least five of the robots struck the glass at once, and at first it did nothing- but as they kept punching and clawing at the wall, cracks started to form.

Leo was still pretty close to them, so he tried to scoot away- only for his side to protest the movement, making him wince through his teeth. He hadn’t expected this to work, but apparently the robots considered their first target, him, finished, and had now moved onto the next one with renewed vigor. This hadn’t been a good idea after all- if the robots got through the wall, they would fight his brothers next.

But they shouldn’t be a problem, not when his brothers could fight them together in a more open space. Besides… the robots were really fixated on their new target, fiercely attacking the wall. So fiercely that they were injuring themselves in the process; Leo could see one of the robotic arms almost out of its socket, wires visible, the arm hanging uselessly on the robot’s side while it’s other arm still attacked the glass.

Leonardo could just imagine Stockman cursing his creations. As smart as the man was, more often than not there was a minor detail causing his plans to fail. He’d made his robots too eager to get to their target. Though… if Stockman’s plan had been to end them, he had gotten pretty close. His pain wasn’t going anywhere, wasn’t lessening – it was doing quite the opposite. It felt like something was burning inside of him, stabbing his insides. The pain had developed to the point where it was now enough to make his vision whiten, enough to bring tears into the corners of his eyes. He clenched his teeth together, which made it hard to breathe, but the agony made him unable to care, he didn’t need to breathe, it only made it hurt,  _ everything  _ made it hurt-

Something was broken inside of him, something worse than his cracked ribs. Something more had been damaged when he’d been hit.

The sound of glass shattering made Leo flinch, made him pull away in an attempt to shield himself from the tiny pieces of glass. It was useless, of course, his body barely moving. When he looked back to the broken part of the glass, he saw Raph surging through- taking down the three closest robots. Don was right after him, the wide reach of his weapon taking down even more bots.

Mikey jumped over the glass on the floor and was kneeling in front of him in an instant.

“Dude,” Mikey breathed, gently touching the better side of his face. He turned his head slightly, inspecting his swollen eye. “You look awful.”

“Mikey,” Leo gasped, starting to have real trouble breathing due to the waves of agony radiating through all of his body. His brother most likely knew about his broken ribs, had probably heard them break, but he didn’t know it was worse than that- he had to let him, them, know, but…

...Did it really matter? If there really was inner damage, the damage bad enough to leave him breathless and weak, did that mean he was bleeding inside? If so, what could they do? They had no means to treat inner injuries like this. They had always gotten lucky, had never been hurt this way, but not this time. 

Not receiving orders or anything else, just a simple gasp of his name made Mikey pull his hand away and turn serious. He’d been serious the whole time, but there had been relief on his face when they had finally gotten through the wall. It was gone now, and Mikey turned to look over his shoulder to yell for their brothers.

The robots had done a good deal of damage to themselves fighting the wall, so they stood no chance against the outraged turtles. Raph was still smashing one of their faces in even though the bot was only pathetically twitching on the ground, but Don was already hurrying towards them, kneeling right next to Mikey. His eyes moved over Leo, clearly taking in the extent of his injuries.

Leo forced himself to lift a hand over his stomach, where the worst of the pain was radiating from.

“Hurts… here.” He had meant to sound a bit more coherent, had tried to give them a bit more information so that they’d know about the inner damage. But instead his words came out weak and pained, sounding whiny in his ears.

“I know, I know…” Don was completely focused on mapping his injuries, but his tone was sad. Then he looked up into Leo’s eyes, confused. “Wait, your stomach-?”

Tiredly, Leo nodded. Don had realized it was something else than his ribs bringing him pain. He’d realize what that meant. Then what? 

“We have to go.” Don’s voice was clipped, firm. All business, keeping his sudden fear hidden. “C’mon, Mikey, let’s lift him.”

Before Leo could try to say anything again, Mikey slid his hand behind his shell and moved him.

His world exploded with pain- he voiced it, couldn’t help the scream that left him.

“ _ Stop, _ please-” he gasped, unable to help himself. The movement made something press against his insides, like a hot knife twisted in his gut- he panted, pressed his hand firmer against his stomach, awful nausea washing over him. How could it hurt this bad?

Amongst the pain he felt ashamed of his words, knowing they had to leave while they still could. He was holding them back, unable to move on his own, and he was making this even more difficult by acting like this. But his reaction hadn’t been in his control, the plea had slipped from his mouth without him meaning to say anything. It just  _ hurt, _ the pain clouding his mind, pulling a low whine from his throat.

“Sorry, sorry-”

Mikey’s voice was pained with the knowledge that he had hurt him. Shaking his head, eyes glassy with pain, Leo met his eyes.

“No, just wasn’t… ready,” Leo slurred slowly. He would be now. He’d have to be.

Don and Mikey looked at each other, changed words. They escaped Leo, for his world was spinning, getting dark and muddy at the edges. 

“‘m gonna pass out,” Leo mumbled. Maybe it was cowardly, but for once he didn’t fight it. 

“No, stay awake, Leo, please,” Don protested immediately, “I need you to stay awake, alright? If your broken ribs have caused inner bleeding-”

He never heard the rest of his sentence.

* * *

There was the vague feeling of something familiar surrounding him. Familiar sounds, familiar smells. Water was flooding through the pipes around him, incense was burning somewhere. It felt like home, but I couldn’t be.

He wasn’t in any pain, and that couldn’t be either. There had been so much of it, just now- for it to disappear so suddenly had to mean something bad. Being home wasn’t bad, so he couldn’t be home.

So why did it feel like he was? 

Someone was holding his hand. Breathing evenly next to him. He couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t make sure where he was. He didn’t know what had happened, he should be worried, afraid, maybe-

Yet he wasn’t. The fingers holding him were slightly curled around his hand, had most likely been holding him tightly before… falling asleep, judging by the deep, calm breathing. Whoever slept next to him had been worried.

They must’ve all been. 

“Leo?”

Michelangelo spoke from his other side, so the hand in his wasn’t his. It was either Raphael’s or Donatello’s, and he wondered if all three of his brothers were in the room. Michelangelo’s voice wasn’t louder than a whisper, but he sounded vulnerable, tired. He sounded like a little brother in need of comfort, but Leonardo was still only returning from… wherever he had been, too numb to even attempt to answer. 

His hand moved blindly, searching the bloody floor for his sword- no, searching his brother’s hand, finding it. Michelangelo took his hand into both of his, held him tightly. He heard the shaky, relieved exhale.

“Way to scare us,” Mikey mumbled wetly. “Don said you’d be fine, but… it took some time before he said it. He… he wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”

Leo wanted to ask how, how had he made it, how was he home, but he was fading once again. If he really was going to make it, he’d have time to ask later. He wasn’t bleeding on the dirty floor of a storage building, he was home. He could now hear Raph’s faint snores from the end of the bed he was laying on, so he knew his brothers were all here and safe as well.

“Didn’t mean to,” Leo breathed out tiredly, surprised he even managed to speak, “scare you.”

Mikey squeezed his hand. “Just for your information, you’re not going to have this hand back for a while. Don’t think I’m gonna be letting go anytime soon.” 

Leo squeezed his hand back. “I’d like you to not let go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've lately worked only on multi-chapter stories, so sharing something like this just feels like- how can I post this?? It's so short! A thing happens and that's it!
> 
> Also, it seems that I've become soft, for this chapter wasn't supposed to have an happy ending... hmm. xD


	4. Never there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 3. Held at Gunpoint  
> No 7. Carrying  
> No 22. Drugged

Whenever they had to split up they usually did so in pairs, but this time they had needed to be in three places at the same time. The computer Donatello needed to get into was connected to two maintenance points, and if he wanted to completely destroy the connection, the maintenance points would need to be shut down while he worked on the main computer. That way the system couldn’t locate his interference. If it did, he couldn’t get past the defenses.

The three points were purposely located far from each other to make an attack difficult. Michelangelo was at the checkpoint by the docks, Leonardo was in an office building near one of the parks, while Raphael was with Donatello, making sure nobody would interrupt his work. If someone noticed their interference, they would come check the main computer. 

The maintenance points belonged to the Purple Dragons. The operation they were aiming to stop didn’t feel like the stuff the Purple Dragons usually pulled off, but despite the strangeness of the situation, they still had to put a stop to it. 

Michelangelo’s checkpoint was the closest to them, while Leonardo’s was a bit further away. Donatello was wearing a headset, so that he could easily answer if Michelangelo or Leonardo called him. Donatello had explained to them in great detail how to shut down the checkpoints, but even he wasn’t exactly sure which kind of protection the maintenance points had, so he was ready to answer their questions if needed. If he was right in his calculations, they wouldn’t need to even do much at the checkpoints. They just had to be there and press a few buttons while Donatello accessed the computer.

In the end, there were no interruptions. Leonardo did call at one point- machines weren’t really his department, but the problem he had encountered had been easily solved, and the mission was a success.

Donatello removed the flash drive where he had stored the info he needed before deleting all the rest. The computer was shut down, and the turtles were ready to leave.

That was when Leonardo called again.

“Everything’s clear over here, Leo,” Donatello said into the headset. “We’re just lea-”

“ _Ambushed- got hit with… with some kind ‘f a… a dart._ ” 

Donatello’s heart skipped a beat. Leonardo was having trouble speaking, so whatever he had been injected with was most likely already slowing him down.

“Are they following you- can you hide?” Don spoke quickly, knowing already knowing it had to be the Purple Dragons after his brother. He should’ve known there was something more at play. The Purple Dragons didn’t usually use darts, just guns and other weapons, so obviously this felt like a set-up. 

Raph’s eyes snapped onto Don, and he moved closer quickly, trying to hear what was going on through his headset.

“ _‘m hiding._ ” Leo’s voice was growing weaker. “ _In a nearby building. Not su...re if they saw... me. Left… blood on the floor, I can’t… mo...ve..._ ”

There was a pause, then a thud and a clatter, and Don knew exactly what had happened. Whatever had been in the dart had taken Leo out, and he was now lying unconscious in some building on the other side of the city. Alone and defenseless with their enemies probably nearby, trying to track him. And bleeding, apparently.

“Leo?” Don still tried. “Leonardo?”

No answer, as he had expected. But- the call was still connected. He could hear a faraway car honk in the background. But no sound from Leo, and for a moment Don was filled with absolute dread- what if the dart hadn’t been used to get him unconscious, what if it was some kind of a poison-

“We need to go,” Don said hastily, putting his shell cell on mute so that Leo’s phone on the floor wouldn’t attract any attention to him. He knew why Leo had mentioned the blood on the floor- if someone was after him, they could follow his bloody tracks. Don placed his shell cell onto his belt and ran for the door with Raph right behind him.

“What’s going on? Why should Leo hide?” Raph demanded, having not been able to make out Leo’s words despite his attempts to listen in. “Is he hurt?”

“He got hit with a dart and is most likely unconscious,” Don explained as they exited the building, jumping onto the rooftop of the nearest building. “Call Mikey. My phone is still connected to Leo’s.”

Cursing, Raph dug out his own shell cell. 

“Was someone still followin’ him? He’s alone out there, Don, if he’s passed out, they’re gonna-”

“He said he was hiding,” Don said, pushing his muscles to run as fast as he could. They had the Battle Shell nearby, they had left it a bit further away so that it wouldn’t bring attention to them. It wasn’t that far, but right now it felt like it was _too_ far. “But if they saw the dart hit him, they know Leo couldn’t have gotten far. They must be looking for him.”

“Shit.”

Mikey answered, and with a clipped tone Raph explained the situation. The youngest was closer to Leo than they were, but he was traveling on foot. There was no way Mikey would reach the building before they did, but Mikey started to head there anyways, following Leo’s signal on his own phone.

Before the call ended, Raph told Mikey to be careful. Maybe Leo wasn’t the only one who would face an ambush.

They had the Battle Shell in sight when Don heard sounds from his headset.

“ _-I’m telling you, there’s no way the freak got this far._ ” The voice was far away, and Don could just barely make out the words. “ _‘Sides, every room is empty. It’s not here._ ”

Don felt like someone had poured a bucket of icy water over him. They had found Leo. Well, no, not yet, but Don had no idea how well Leo had managed to hide himself. He could only pray that they wouldn’t see him, that they’d give up their search and leave.

“ _Yeah… yeah, you’re right. Shit, for a moment I thought we had it. Let’s go._ ”

Both Don and Raph had landed on the alley below them, and Don leaned against the Battle Shell to catch his breath. He sighed from relief, gaining an odd look from Raph. The men were leaving, he could hear their footsteps fading.

“ _Wait. There’s blood here. Gotta be the turtle’s!”_

The short relief was instantly gone. 

“Raph, get in!” Don ordered, jumping into action, opening the Battle Shell’s door with more force than what was needed, and jumped in. The footsteps were getting closer to the phone, and with every step Don’s fear grew. Just as Raph climbed into the driver’s seat, he could hear one of the men again.

 _“There’s more here- oh shit, it’s here! The freak’s here!_ ”

“No,” Don breathed out quietly. Raph started the vehicle and threw a questioning look at him.

“What happened?” Raph asked impatiently.

“They found him,” Don answered. Raph’s eyes widened. 

“Fuck! What are they saying?” Raph put the Battle Shell in reverse and drove it out of the alleyway, slamming his foot down on the gas the moment they were out. It was late, so there wasn’t as much traffic as there could’ve been. “What are they doin’?”

“ _Really? Man, don’t get so close to it!_ ”

“ _They used a tranquilizer on it, it won’t be able to move._ ”

At least the dart hadn’t contained any poison like Don had feared. But he had been bleeding; how badly was he hurt? 

“ _You sure it won’t get up and attack us?_ ”

“ _With the amount of paralytic drugs in it right now? Haha, no way! It won’t be able to even twitch a finger._ ”

Don had taken out his shell cell so that he could locate the signal of Leo’s phone, and now his hold on the phone tightened as anger washed over him. If the dart had been a paralytic instead of a sedative, that meant that Leo could still be conscious, knowing he had been found, but unable to do anything about his situation. The fear he felt for his brother only grew.

“Don, I’m really not liking the silence,” Raph growled from next to him, and repeated his question from before. “What are they doin’?”

“I don’t know,” Don answered, his tone clipped. “They’re talking.”

“ _Right, so… what do we do?_ ” One of them sounded young, seemingly wary of the whole situation. “ _Do we call the others?_ ”

“ _Are you kiddin’ me? The others would just take all the credit._ ” The second guy was older, sounding much more confident. As far as Don could tell, the two of them were the only Purple Dragons there. “ _Nah, we’re taking it to the boss ourselves._ ”

“ _What? I’m not touching it- I’m not getting close! I’ve seen them go down just to get back up right away, and I don’t wanna get beheaded!_ ”

“ _Oh, is the sword what you’re afraid of?_ ”

Don could hear the footsteps coming closer once again, meaning that one of the men was coming closer to Leo. He gritted his teeth, not liking that at all.

There was the familiar sound of a sword being pulled out of its sheath. Then something scraped against wood, probably the edge of the sword as the man lifted it. 

“ _Woah. These really are something. Check this out._ ”

There was a slashing noise- the man was testing Leo’s sword, cutting the air with it. If Leo was still awake, Don knew he had to be furious that someone was playing around with one of his katana. 

“ _But here- it no longer has it’s sword, so you don’t have to be afraid of it. I don’t know where the other one is, it must’ve dropped it._ ”

“ _I don’t know, man… you sure about this?_ ”

“ _Stop being such a wuss._ ”

“ _What about the others? Aren’t there four of them? They must be searchin’ for this one._ ”

They didn’t need to search. In a moment, Don would have Leo’s shell cell located. And once they got there… well, if these men were still around, they would _not_ be having a good time.

“Are they hurtin’ him?” Raph asked, his voice tight. It was clearly killing him not knowing what was going on.

“No, still talking,” Don answered, his voice a bit softer now. He’d try to keep Raph updated, but he was focused on listening. “One of them was playing with Leo’s sword.”

Raph grunted at that, and had the same thought he’d had. “Leo would hate that.”

“I think Leo’s still conscious, just paralyzed.”

Raph grunted as an answer, knowing that wasn’t any better than being sedated. Even if Leo was awake, he still couldn’t defend himself in any way.

“ _Maybe they are, so let’s get him into the car before they find this place._ ”

“They’re going to move him,” Don said. “I’ve got Leo tracked now- he’s not far from the maintenance point, so just keep driving there. But- but I’m tracking his shell cell, not Leo himself- if they take him into the car and his phone is left behind…”

Raph cursed and took a dangerously sharp turn- Don hit his side against the door and almost dropped the shell cell.

“ _Raph!_ ” Don hissed at him, glaring at his brother. “Do you _want_ the police after us?!”

“We can’t let them take Leo!” Raph growled.

“I know, but if we need to shake the police off of our tail, it’s just going to take us longer to get to him! Much longer- we’ll be _late_ by then!”

That made Raph grip the wheel even tighter, but he slowed down a bit. Just a bit.

“ _Okay, so… how are we going to do this?_ ” 

“ _Let’s drag him out of this thing first._ ”

Drag him out? Sounded like Leo had found a hiding place, and it had almost been good enough. Almost.

There were a few grunts, and scraping sounds again. Probably Leo’s shell scraping against the wooden floor as they dragged him out of his hiding place.

“ _Fuck! It’s awake, it’s eyes are open!_ ”

“ _Obviously, it’s paralyzed, not unconscious, like I already told you. Wimp._ ”

“ _It looks angry. Man, I don’t like this..._ ”

“ _Heh, of course it does. It’s mad it got caught. Ain’t that right?_ ”

Don knew the sound their shells made when something was knocked against them. Judging by the silent grunt coming from Leo, the men had given his shell a kick. More dragging sounds followed.

“ _Man, it’s heavy,_ ” the younger man complained. “ _How are we gonna get it downstairs?_ ”

“ _We can just push it down the stairs,_ ” the second man laughed.

Don’s mouth was a tight line as he listened. Raph tapped the wheel impatiently.

“Oh. Sorry,” Don mumbled, realizing he had once again gone quiet. “There’s just not much to say. They… well, they’re taunting him, and... figuring out how to move him. Talking about pushing him down the stairs…”

“Assholes,” Raph muttered. He obviously wanted to say more, but kept his tongue in check and focused on driving. 

They were still moving Leo, his shell scraping against the floor. The sounds were moving away from the phone, and Don almost told Raph to drive faster, but he knew he couldn’t. They were already halfway there.

“ _Huh… I’ve never seen them up close like this. Just look at it!_ ”

The next sound made Don’s breath hitch. The shell cell was still close enough for it to pick up Leo’s pained moan. What was going on? Don couldn’t hear what they were doing. 

“Don, I swear, I’m gonna take the headset from ya if ya don’t-”

“Shh!” Don hushed Raph, needing to listen to know what was going on. 

“ _Is it normal that it can make sounds? Even though it’s paralyzed?_ ” the younger man was still wary, sounding slightly scared. Don could hear him step away.

“ _Goddamnit, you’re such a wimp, man!_ ”

“ _Well, it made a sound, what if that means that the drug’s wearing off already?_ ”

“ _It’s not. Wanna hear it make more sounds? Hey, what about I use it’s own sword on it?_ ”

“Drive faster,” Don ordered, his voice icy. He’d figure something out if they happened to run into the police. He did _not_ want to give the Purple Dragons the time to test Leo’s sword.

Raph said nothing while speeding up. He couldn’t hear what was going on, but the tone his brother used meant things weren’t good. Of course they weren’t.

“ _Pfft, like you know how to use anything bigger than your knife. You’d kill it, and I think the boss wants it alive._ ”

“ _Hah, fuck you, dude. I’d be awesome with a sword, but I’ll admit, I’m much better with my knife. Guess I’ll just have to use it, then…_ ”

There was some shuffling, and then a faint pained sound, Leo clearly trying to muffle his voice. Hearing it made the heavy feeling in the pit of Don’s stomach worsen. It was awful to listen to, knowing Leo had no way to defend himself while the men were taking full advantage of his paralyzed state. It was maddening that they could just do that, that they were still so far away, unable to do nothing but to listen to these men laughing at Leo’s pain. 

“They’re not trying to move him anymore, they…” Don held the shell cell tightly in his hand. “They’re just… hurting him.”

“ _They’re_ the ones going to be hurt,” Raph promised darkly, taking another sharp turn. This time Don was prepared for it, holding onto his seat while the Battle Shell’s wheels screeched against the asphalt road.

“ _Yeah, how’s it feel to be helpless? Hey, hold it up, just like that. I’ve got an idea..._ ”

This time Leo yelped from pain. He had a high tolerance for pain, didn’t easily voice it- but if they were using the knife on him...

“They’re such _cowards,_ ” Don couldn’t help muttering out loud. “Hurting him when he can’t fight back…”

“ _Yeah, that sounded like it hurt. Do it again._ ” The younger one no longer sounded scared, showing he was just as sadistic as the other man.

“ _I’m planning to. It wandered to the Purple Dragon’s terrority, so it belongs to the Purple Dragon’s now, right? Gotta give it something to show it._ ”

“ _Oh shit, you’re going to carve the whole dragon into it?_ ”

“ _You bet I am. Told you I’m good with my knife._ ”

Don’s eyes widened. Numbly, he lifted his eyes from the screen he had been staring, watching the dark road in front of them.

“They’re… they’re going to...” His voice was a mixture of pain and helplessness. He wished he could do something, anything to stop what the men were about to do. “We- we have to do something, but…”

But he didn’t know what. They could unmute the phone, try to scare the men away… but Leo’s phone wasn’t on speaker. They wouldn’t hear them.

“What?” Raph asked, his teeth gritted together, hating the situation from the bottom of his heart. “What are they going to do?”

“Just drive, Raph,” Don pleaded. It was all they could do now.

“I’ll _kill_ them,” Raph muttered.

A surprised yelp came through Don’s headset.

“ _It moved! I told you the drug’s wearing off! These freaks always get up too fast!_ ”

 _“Stop screaming! Shit, it made me cut too deep. Can’t work with all this blood_.”

“ _Screw your work, it's moving! Fuck, I’m outta here!_ ”

Leo was already able to move? Maybe they hadn’t given him a dose high enough, or Leo had managed to yank the dart out before all the contents had been emptied into him. Don felt a small bit of relief, but knew that their brother was still in the hands of these scumbags.

“ _Oh for crying out loud… it’s barely moving._ _If it bothers you so much, I can make it stop._ ”

Don knew the sound tasers made. His hand twitched involuntarily, as if he could’ve done something to stop what he knew was coming-

Leo groaned loudly when electricity traveled through him. From experience, Don knew that just a few seconds were enough to bring anyone down to their knees- and this bastard kept the taser on Leo for longer than that until finally pulling away.

Leo was breathing hard enough for the shell cell to pick the noise. Don felt sick in his stomach, already apologizing in his head that they weren’t there already.

“ _See? All still and quiet again._ ”

“ _Okay, good. But let’s just get it into the car now, okay?_ ”

“ _Fine. Heh, it’ll be nice to leave all this blood here, a little surprise for the other freaks once they get here._ ”

Both of the men laughed, and he could hear Leo being moved again. The next time they spoke, the phone couldn’t pick up the sound. The room was quiet, and Don lifted the headset from his head, throwing it aside. Raph gave him a quick glance before returning his eyes to the road.

“Can’t hear them anymore,” Don muttered, anxiously tapping the side of his phone. Leo’s signal was still visible on the screen, but if the men managed to drive away with Leo, the signal would mean nothing.

Finally Raph turned the Battle Shell into a narrow alleyway, and both turtles jumped out of the vehicle. Adrenaline was already surging through them before they even got to the front of the abandoned building where Leo’s phone was left. 

There was a black van parked near the door, nobody in sight. Were they inside the vehicle already, or still in the building?

Raphael was sneaking towards the van, while Donatello neared the door of the building. Quickly Raphael rejoined him; the van had been empty, and together they burst through the door.

The room they jumped in was dim, lit only by two flashlights carried by the Purple Dragons. They saw the shock on their faces, and before their surprise had time to fade, Raphael had already jumped forward and taken down one of the men. Donatello’s bō knocked against the side of the other’s head, sending him down in an unconscious heap.

A gun was cocked on their left. Immediately turning towards the sound they saw a third man – and Leonardo. Their brother was lying on the floor, his left arm coated with blood. The gun was pointed at the turtles, before the tattooed man lowered it towards Leonardo.

“Step the fuck away or I’ll blow his brains out,” the Purple Dragon hissed, holding the gun with both hands. “Fuck. I knew those two would just fuck up-”

There were sounds coming from outside of the building; a vehicle was turned off near the open door. The Purple Dragon grinned widely, knowing his backup had arrived. Raphael and Donatello felt helpless again- Leonardo was bleeding on the floor, a gun aimed at him, and they were too far away. If they moved, the man would pull the trigger. 

“Looks like you turtles fucked up too, this time,” he grinned at them. “I doubt the boss wants you all alive. Say goodbye to-”

The man’s wrist was grabbed, the gun pulled away from Leonardo just before it went off. Something hit the back of the gang member’s head, and with a muffled grunt he went down. 

“You’re the one who fucked up,” Michelangelo hissed, his nunchaku still spinning in his hand, “by pointing a gun at my brother.”

For another shocked second everyone stood still, taking in what a close call that had been- and then everyone broke out into movement. Mikey kneeled down next to Leo, still prone on the floor, while Don and Raph hurried towards them.

The room was even dimmer now, all the flashlights dropped onto the floor, but in their light they could see that Leo had his eyes open, looking at them. He was holding his bleeding arm with his hand.

“Leo! You okay?” Mikey was asking, eyes on his injuries. Leo nodded stiffly.

“There could be more Purple Dragons around here,” Don said quickly.

“Then let’s get the fuck outta here,” Raph grunted. Leo was able to make only the smallest of movements, obviously unable to get up, and Raph didn’t hesitate to pick him up from the floor. 

“We can’t leave his shell cell here,” Don said, turning towards the stairs, “I’ll go get it.”

Mikey nodded and hurried back to the door, stopping there to scan the area for more Purple Dragons. Raph’s eyes were on Leo’s arm, frowning at the amount of blood. Once they got to the Battle Shell they could treat his cuts, but Leo was way too pale.

“Just hold on,” Raph mumbled to him. “I got you.”

“There’s nobody here,” Mikey called from the door. “Let’s go.”

Once Raph started to move, Leo shifted in his arms. He made no sound, but Raph caught how his breath hitched.

“‘m sorry,” Raph told him quietly, his voice full of regret. “Sorry we couldn’t get here sooner.”

Leo was looking up at him, his eyes barely open. 

“I‘m sorry I got caught,” Leo mumbled, his voice slightly slurred, some of the paralytic drug still remaining in his system. “Sorry you… had to hear.”

Of course Leo had been aware that his brothers had heard everything through the phone, and of course he had worried about _that._ Raph huffed at him.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, his voice more affectionate than angry, holding him a bit more tightly. “Getting you home now.”

Leo leaned his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes, “Home sounds good.”

Don jumped down from the stairs, both Leo’s shell cell and his sword with him. They hurried out of the building, noting the abandoned motorcycle in front of the door, disappearing inside the Battle Shell and immediately driving off. Raph kept holding onto Leo while Don started to clean the wounds on his arm, Mikey sitting behind the wheel, but glancing over his shoulder back to his brothers every now and then. 

“You had amazing timing,” Don said, still a bit breathless when he gave Mikey a brief glance. 

“I’m glad I did,” Mikey said, his voice tense, adrenaline obviously still running through him. “I have to remember to return the motorcycle I, um, _borrowed_ to get here faster… heh…” 

“I think ya made some kinda record,” Raph said proudly. “Gotta race ya later.”

Mikey shot him a short grin, quickly sobering up again. “How is he?”

“Just lost some blood,” Don said, still in the process of cleaning Leo’s arm so that he could properly see the cuts.

“You talk like I’m not here,” Leo mumbled quietly. “I’m fine.”

“You can’t even move,” Raph said softly, then added, “don’t even try.”

Leo smiled weakly, and stayed still. The only movement he made was to tilt his head down, trying to see the arm Don was working on. His eyes met briefly with Don’s.

“Did they…?” Leo asked, knowing Don had heard the men talking about carving the dragon into his skin. He knew the man hadn’t had enough time to complete it, but he didn’t want anything even resembling the gang’s mark on him.

Don shook his head. “He didn’t get too far with it, these look just like random cuts.”

Both Mikey and Raph were confused about Leo’s relief. Raph could now see the amount of wounds, saw Don digging out a needle for stitches, and couldn’t help the small growl that left him.

“Why the hell are ya two so relieved? I wanna go back there and fucking-”

“Raph,” Leo cut him off, tiredly leaning against him again. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Raph huffed. “Trash, all of ‘em-”

Don placed a calming hand on his arm. “You’ll have plenty of time to kick some Purple Dragons later.”

“Yeah, once you’re not busy cradling Leo in your lap,” Mikey snickered from the driver’s seat, amused that Raph was promising violence while carefully holding their brother.

“Yer the first one I’m gonna kick,” Raph threatened, and Mikey gasped overdramatically.

“Excuse me, I’m the hero of tonight! Driving in and saving the day at the last moment!”

Leo chuckled when his brothers continued their good-natured bickering, not looking forward to the stitching Don was about to do, but comfortable with the feeling of being safe with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, again with the trapped plotline, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm a one trick pony xD


	5. Fearless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter piece, set somewhere after the episode S02E09 "Reflections," and is mostly about what happened during the Shredder Strikes Back episodes. Would you have guessed that I like those eps? xD
> 
> Prompt used for this chapter:  
> No 18. Panic Attacks

Ever since returning from the farmhouse back to New York, the turtles had faced one obstacle after the other. Defeating the Shredder, Splinter going missing, getting sent to space, defeating the Shredder again- so much had happened, so they returned to the farmhouse to reflect. They spent a few days there, and those days were much better than the time they spent there before that. 

During their first visit to the farmhouse Leonardo had spent most of his time recovering from the wounds he had suffered from the Shredder’s Elite. He was at peace with his defeat now, had left it behind and moved on, especially after facing them for the second time in the Foot Headquarters. Yet… whenever he glanced at the barn where he had spent so much time just moping around, he felt an ache he couldn’t quite put into words. He carried the scars from his defeat on his skin, but he barely even thought about them anymore. He rarely even thought about that night. He was more focused on being able to spend time with his family now- joking around a campfire, racing them to the nearby pond, exploring the forest behind the farmhouse.

When it was time to go back home, it was also time to go back to their old routine. There was no immediate threat; no word about the Foot or the Shredder. 

They had spent so much time together, first in the limited room of the farmhouse, then in space, then at the farmhouse again, that it actually felt weird to sleep in their own rooms again. It felt weird to wake up in the morning, make breakfast and go into the dojo for morning practice. It felt so _normal._

It wasn’t unwelcome in any way. It felt comforting, and most of all, safe. That was something they hadn’t had in a while. 

It didn’t take long for Leonardo to fall back into his routine. They hadn’t been home longer than a few days when he woke up before his alarm. He put on his gear, strapped his swords against his shell, and headed for the dojo.

‘ _Then again,_ ’ he thought as his steps slowed down, ‘ _we haven’t really taken a good look at the city since our return._ ’

His eyes were on the exit of the lair now. Although they rarely left the lair alone, it wasn’t unusual to take a small run on their own. It would be normal, part of his routine, for him to go and take a look. There were no Foot soldiers searching for them; nobody was looking for them, as far as Leonardo knew.

So it should’ve been easy, normal, just like everything else in his routine, to walk to the door. After everything- facing the Foot Elite again, facing the Shredder, getting caught in a war in space- walking out of that door shouldn’t have been something he had to think twice about.

But all that, fighting the Foot, getting thrown into a space battle arena, he had done with his brothers. It had been dangerous and, yes, scary- but he hadn’t felt scared. He hadn’t been alone.

If he walked out of that door, he would be. If he went out, he’d be alone, just like that night-

Frowning at himself, Leonardo turned his shell to the dojo and determinedly headed for the exit. He had already left that defeat behind, had refused to live in fear. If even a small part of himself was going down that route again, he had to put a stop to it. He had to prove that he was over it.

Leonardo hadn’t realized how early it really was; there were no signs of the rising sun. The sky was dark, filled with black clouds, but Leonardo refused to let them remind him of anything. The streets were quiet, at least as quiet as New York streets could get, and the rooftops were completely his.

Once he was above the streets, he began running. There was a certain anticipation in his chest- he wanted to glance over his shoulder, expecting to see ninja in black clothing silently following him. But he wouldn’t look, wouldn’t give in to that paranoia. Nobody was following him. He was fine.

He stopped every now and then, just to listen to the sounds of the city around him. Nothing unusual was going on. He hadn’t ran into anything violent, despite it being a late weekend night. Guess the morning was so close that all the worst drunkards had passed out for the night. There was only the usual banter outside closing bars, nothing that needed his involvement.

Leonardo slowed down to lean against the edge of the roof he was standing on, and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. It felt good to be back, running on the familiar roofs. As much as he enjoyed the company of his family, it felt good to have a moment to himself. 

He hadn’t been out for even an hour, but he hadn’t had this much time to be on his own and just think in… weeks. Maybe months. So much time had been spent on focusing on staying alive, on getting his brothers back home safely. And during their time at the farmhouse, he had just spent time recovering. Sleeping. Not really thinking. Just moping.

Now he had the time to think, yet… there wasn’t really anything to think about. Distant music carried over the street, a chilly breeze brushed his face. The city was as they had left it. 

Something wet landed on his shoulder. Leonardo’s eyes opened just as thunder pierced the black clouds. The sound was so loud he felt it in his chest.

_Four red figures danced around him, and he could never predict where the next strike would come from. One of them jumped over his shell, just toying with him. He slashed with his sword blindly, only to get another blow for it, then another. The thunder bellowed around him when he lost his grip on his sword, when he heard himself scream-_

He whirled around, his katana already in his hand, ready for the enemy that had attacked him- but there was no one else on the roof. He stood still, unable to move, just trying to process the fact he wasn’t hurt. Not hurt, nor being attacked. He was alone.

So very, very alone.

* * *

When he came back to the lair, he was soaking wet. He hadn’t been able to outrun the rain, blinking away droplets of water from his eyes even now. The entrance of the lair closed with a soft hiss behind him. 

He still had his katana in hand, fingers curled tightly around the hilt. Unable, or maybe unwilling, to let go.

“Leo?”

Mikey’s head peeked from the kitchen. It was still early; his brother shouldn’t have been awake yet. Or had Leo been gone longer than he had thought? 

Don and Raph appeared to the kitchen doorway as well. It immediately told Leo that they had been waiting for him. They couldn’t have been awake for very long, but they had known he had gone out, and had waited for him. Had he worried them? Had they had a reason to worry?

Was there a reason he had come back so soon? Was there a reason that his heart was still beating wildly against his chest, that the rain had felt like tiny daggers on his skin, that the thunder had made him flinch and flee, suddenly unable to stand the rain and wind and thunder and the feeling of being _so alone-_

 _Drip. Drip._ Droplets of water fell from his soaked gear. There was already a small puddle of water under his feet. He felt cold. Cold all over.

Mikey was suddenly standing right in front of him- when had he moved? His hand felt warm when he grabbed his arm and started to lead him away from the door. Leo followed him stiffly. 

Someone pried his fingers from his sword and took it from him. He was forced to sit down, and the strap going over his shoulder was undone, taking his other sword away as well.

_My swords. Where are my swords?_

The flashback was so strong it made him reel; hearing his own voice, so weak and pathetic, asking for his weapons- distantly seeing Mikey and April kneeling in front of him, being barely able to breathe as his injuries throbbed with every pained breath he took. His family was fighting around him, fighting a fight _he_ had taken to them, and he didn’t have his swords.

Just like then, it was difficult to breathe. Why was it difficult now? He wasn’t hurt. He had been completely fine just a moment ago. He had simply ran home. Yes, the thunder had been deafening, yes, the rain had been cold and bitter on his skin and he couldn’t actually remember anything about his way back home, just the way the sky light up with every strike of the angry thunder, how there would be pain if he stopped running, how he would hear the window break and he’d have to live with the knowledge that _he_ burnt that apartment down, that he almost died and almost took his whole family with him-

Something wrapped around him, and he flinched, would have resisted, but his hands felt numb. His head was lifted, and instead of the burning apartment he saw a familiar, green shape. He blinked his eyes and his vision cleared, showing him that Michelangelo was kneeling in front of him. 

He was being talked to. There was deep worry in Mikey’s voice, in his eyes as well. He couldn’t really make out the words, just the tone he spoke with. He should say something, answer in some way. There was no need to worry- breathing was still difficult, but that was probably just because of the run. Yeah, he was just out of breath.

His hands were grabbed and squeezed. He barely felt it. He was just trying to focus on getting his breathing back under control, but he felt like he couldn’t get enough air- he was gasping, feeling lightheaded.

“-you hear me? Leo?”

It took him a moment to realize that he had understood the words this time. He nodded.

“Okay, good, just take a deep breath, alright?”

Leo did, realizing now that he had to take slow breaths instead of the fast and panicked ones he was currently taking. He inhaled, struggling to keep the air in his lungs instead of just immediately exhaling again. After managing to hold his breath for a few seconds, he slowly exhaled. A few repeats of the slower breathing, and his head felt clearer again. He could take in the fact that he was sitting in one of the chairs in the kitchen, and the thing wrapped around him was a towel. He was trembling slightly, but that was probably just because of the cold rain. Probably.

“Hey, you with us now?”

The question was spoken softly, causing Leo to focus back on Mikey. He realized how completely he had checked out, and embarrassment hit him. He averted his gaze.

“Yes,” Leo mumbled. “Sorry.”

“What happened out there?” Raph asked, slightly impatient; worried. Leo could feel his hand on his shoulder.

“There was a storm,” Leo said simply, a far away look in his eyes again. He didn’t know if it was comforting or embarrassing that it was enough of an answer to his brothers. They knew now what was wrong, what was on his mind. Knew he wasn’t over that night, after all.

Leonardo grabbed the edges of the towel and pulled it tighter around himself, wearing a slight frown. How? How could a simple storm make him bolt for home, when he had already faced the Foot Elite and beaten them? He hadn’t turned tail then, and if he still feared something, shouldn’t it be the people who actually hurt him instead of the feeling of rain and the sound of thunder? He had faced his fear, he was _over_ it, so why?

“Sometimes it’s the little things that can take us back,” Donatello said gently, like he had been reading his thoughts. He was sitting in a chair next to him, and Leonardo glanced at him. “So much has been going on lately that you haven’t had time to think about that night. But now that your head wasn’t busy with other things, well…”

“I had plenty of time to think about it back at the farmhouse,” Leonardo muttered. That had been all he had done back then. Not even really thinking, just moping over the fight and his failure. Over and over again. 

“It’s different,” Donatello said. “Returning to the place where the trauma happened can obviously trigger some-”

Leonardo stood up and turned away from his brothers. There was no trauma. It didn’t affect him. If it did, it meant he wasn’t over it, and he was. It was in the past. It didn’t- it _shouldn’t_ affect him anymore.

He had shaken Raph’s hand off of his shoulder as he had stood up, but now Mikey was in front of him, blocking his way.

“Leo, you can talk to us,” Mikey said, sounding like he was… pleading. And Leo knew why, knew that his brothers feared he would distance himself again. He already knew that would take him nowhere. Raph had already snapped him out of it once, back at the farmhouse, and they wouldn’t need to go through that again.

“I know,” Leo said, his voice softer. “Maybe… maybe next time we could go patrolling together.”

It was too close to admitting that he still feared the rainy night, but his brothers had been with him when he had faced the Elites. Why couldn’t he let them be with him when he faced this? He could.

A shiver went through him, and this time he knew for sure it was because of the soaked towel still wrapped around him. His brothers picked up on that, for the towel was tugged away from him, and a new, dry towel was wrapped around him instead. He was pushed back down into his seat, and he could hear the kettle going off on the stove. Leo could only blink at the treatment, still feeling somewhat slow and sluggish after everything. Running through the city tended to leave you exhausted when both mind and body were set to survival mode during the run. 

“Sure, it’s been a while since we patrolled together. But what about we take tonight off?” 

Leo almost protested, knowing he couldn’t avoid going out because of something like this- but it was still raining heavily above them, for water was loudly rushing through the pipes around the lair. The slippery rooftops would be risky, and people tended to stay indoors when the weather got this bad.

Yes, those were the reasons for not going. Nothing else.

A steaming cup was placed in front of him, the smell of honey-laced tea heavenly. Leo glanced up, giving his brothers a tired smirk, “Is this bribing to skip patrol?”

“If it is, is it working?” Mikey asked with a grin. 

“Yes,” Leo smiled, lifting the cup and letting the warmth of the drink travel through him. Leo knew he’d have to pick another rainy night for patrol, had to work out whatever fear still lingered, but for now, for today, maybe this was allowed. This moment of vulnerability, where he allowed his brothers to see him weak again, where he allowed them to take care of him. 

Tomorrow he had to be the leader again, the one that looked after them.

The one that didn’t fear.


	6. The Exit (part 2/3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 16. Hallucinations  
> No 17. Blackmail  
> No 24. Blindfolded, Sensory Deprivation
> 
> Continuation from the first chapter! If bad endings aren't your thing, you might consider skipping the rest of the fic. Here's where things start to go downhill, there will still be some good endings, but bad endings as well. Stay safe!

Raphael yanked against his chains, the cold metal biting into his cut and bruised skin. He threw his body forward, ignored the burn in his wrists and ankles, growled when his efforts did nothing to break the chain’s hold on him.

“Stop it, Raph,” Donatello’s tired voice echoed in the cell. “You’ll just make your bruises worse.”

“It’s better than,” Raph growled and tugged against his binds once more, “than sitting around doing  _ nothing. _ ”

“I’m  _ thinking, _ ” Don bit back. “Instead of wasting my energy on something that’s useless. You can’t bend metal, Raph.”

“Watch me,” Raph huffed. He knew Don was right- and felt it, too. The ache in his wrists was almost unbearable, but he endured it. If he kept this up,  _ something  _ would break.

Whether it would be the chains or his wrists would remain to be seen.

The sound of a door opening made him stop, made all of them look up to the source of dim light. After Leonardo had removed their blindfolds, nobody had come in to put them back over their faces. Not like it mattered much whether they had them or not; nothing ever happened in this cell. There wasn’t anything to see.

But now the eldest turtle was thrown in. Leonardo didn’t do much to soften his fall; he tried to catch himself, but his tied hands made it difficult. He hit the ground with a dull thud, but unlike the other times he’d been brought in, he made no sound as he connected with the floor.

“Leo!” Michelangelo was the first to call his name. The light pouring in from the door showed them that their brother looked pretty much the same the last time they had seen him; not injured, only bruised.

But usually after being brought back into the cell their brother was climbing back up onto his knees even before the men had left. Now the cell of the door closed with a harsh click, leaving them in near darkness, yet Leonardo remained motionless on the floor. All three of the chained turtles were struggling against their bounds, anxious to get to the limp brother. But the chains never gave, only tore against raw skin, only reminded them of their helplessness.

“Leo!” This time it was Donatello who called out, his voice dripping with heart-wrenching worry. Raphael hated it when his brothers used that tone. That scared, helpless voice. It told him his brothers needed him, that they needed him  _ now. _ Here he was, so close yet so far, full of rage ready to be unleashed on their captors, pitifully chained in place.

“I’m fine,” Leonardo answered the desperate call, his voice hoarse, distant. A weak cough followed his words. “I’m fine.” 

Obviously he wasn’t. 

Slowly Leonardo started to push himself up into a sitting position. It brought some relief to hear him and see him move- even though he wasn’t visibly injured, they knew something bad happened every time their brother was taken away. This had been the fourth time he had been taken away from them, and every time Leonardo was returned, he came back drugged and weak. The only injuries apart from his bruises were his cut fingers, but Leonardo didn’t speak of what happened outside the cell.

Their relief brought anger with it- they shouldn’t feel relieved that Leonardo was barely able to move. They shouldn’t feel relieved that “things could be worse.” Yes, they  _ could  _ be worse, but it didn’t mean that things were okay as they were. How long had they been here already? They were all weak and starving and not getting better. How long could they hold on? 

“Just… give me a moment.” Leonardo was sitting still, his head held down. It was difficult to see him properly, but they saw how he swayed even as he sat. Definitely drugged once more, clearly fighting to get rid of the dizziness the drugs caused him every time.

Raph wanted to tell Leo to just take it easy and lie down, that he could rest now. But they all knew he couldn’t stay still for long. Every time they brought Leo back, they brought a container of food with him. But the chains were never removed, so every time it was up to Leo to bring the food to his brothers before the men came back and took the food away. They didn’t usually give them much time to empty the container, meaning that Leo couldn’t rest just yet.

The second time food had been brought to them, Leo and Raph had had a fight about it. Leo had given his brothers more food than the first time, meaning that there had been less for him- which they had only noticed when Raph had seen how empty the container had been. 

_ “I’m not drinkin’ that, ya haven’t had any! Fuck, yer the one running a fever and bein’ drugged, ya drink it!” _

_ “Raph, just take it, please-” _

_ “What, so ya can play a damn martyr?” _

_ “Raph-” _

Their banter had been cut short as the men had come back, and both Leo and Raph had been left without their share of food and water. That time they had only taken away the remaining food, not Leo, and that’s how they had found out that they had a time-limit before the food would be taken away. They hadn’t fought about eating since, had simply shared it between the four of them.

It was clear that the pain caused by the drug wasn’t passing. Leo was visibly shaking, reaching for the food-container with unsteady hands. He moved sluggishly towards Mikey, always starting with the youngest. 

Raph looked away. As always, Leo had to hold up the piece of bread so that Mikey could take a bite. Raph knew why they had left one of them unchained, why they forced them into such a pathetic situation. To humiliate them, to break their mental walls. Raph gritted his teeth in his anger.

“Describe your symptoms,” Don requested once Leo moved to him. His words were quiet, but Don was attempting to use his doctor-voice anyway. He had been attempting to figure out what kind of drugs had been used on Leo. He was sure they weren’t drugging him just to move him out of the cell- Leo was far too weak to fight back, they didn’t need to drug him for that. Which meant that the purpose was something else. Don was asking the questions to find out, even though there wasn’t much they could do about it even if he figured it out. Maybe Don was doing it just to pass the time. They were all going crazy here, time passing agonizingly slowly. Raph often wondered if it passed at all. It barely meant anything, for nothing ever changed for them.

It was always the same. Rotting here, watching his brothers suffer. Anger lifted it’s head again, but Raph was starting to feel too exhausted to respond to it. He stared at the floor and lay limp in his chains.

“The same,” Leo’s answer came as a whisper, but in the silent room it was well heard. “Dizzy. Headaches.”

There was a pause, then Leo’s voice continued. “You don’t need to rush.”

Raph could only guess that Donnie had tried to eat in a hurry, so that the whole ordeal would be over faster and Leo could lie down already. That was what Leo always did after they had eaten- lied down next to one of them. Sometimes he stretched a little, but they could tell he felt guilty doing it, for his brothers didn’t have the same mobility he did. Leo was still tied, so he wasn’t exactly free to move either. But they could tell that wherever the men took him, they kept him immobilized, for they saw how stiffly Leo moved every time he was brought back, like his limbs had been asleep for a long time.

The faster they ate the sooner Leo could eat, and then rest before… before he’d be taken away again. Raph pressed his eyes closed and yanked on the chains hard. They rattled loudly, hurting his ears, hurting his wrists, everything was just hurting-

“Raph.”

There was a shaky hand on his cheek, the touch causing him to settle down so that he wouldn’t accidentally hit Leo with the chains. He realized he was panting, exhausted emotionally and physically.  _ Guilt  _ swept over him. Nothing had happened to him since he’d been brought here, he hadn’t been hurt or been taken anywhere. He simply sat here in the dark cell, doing nothing but starving and waiting. Yet he  _ dared  _ to feel tired and hurt when Leo was in front of him, having just been through- through who knew what, for their brother wouldn’t tell them what happened outside the cell. It was clear they weren’t physically hurting him, but they saw the haunted look in his eyes, no matter how hard Leo tried to hide it from them.

He was looking at those hollow eyes again, and unable to stand the guilt he now felt, he lowered his head down in shame.

He was nothing but a shame to his brothers. He couldn’t save any of them, couldn’t even break out of some chains. He was supposed to be the strong one, yet all he did was to count on his brother to bring him his small share of food. Every day Leo was taken away to suffer more, every day Don and Mikey starved. Every day he showed his family just how useless he was.

“Give it to them,” Raph pleaded quietly when Leo lifted a piece of bread from the container. The food was never enough, it might’ve been if one of them had eaten all of it, but they couldn’t do that. Of course they shared. Raph wasn’t sure how Leo did it, how he patiently waited for his brothers to eat when he could’ve just eaten first. The starving was starting to get maddening- he could smell the dry bread when it was this close, he wanted it so bad, his hands twitched against his restraints. Had his hands been free he was sure he would’ve tried to grab the bread, and would’ve eaten it in a hurry before it could be taken away from him again. He swallowed against the hunger, kept his head down. He didn’t deserve the food. As long as he did nothing but allowed his brothers to suffer, he didn’t deserve it. “I can’t take it.”

Leo’s hand fell from his cheek down to his chin, gently lifting his face back up. Raph could’ve kept his head down, but he faced Leo anyways, feeling even worse when he saw the sad look on his face.

“Of course you can,” Leo told him, and Raph knew he hadn’t had his portion of water yet, for his voice was so weak and raspy. “It’s your share.”

“No,” Raph protested, shut his eyes again, shook his head weakly. “They need it more. They’re  _ starving, _ Leo.”

He felt Leo lean in closer, felt his snout press against his as Leo gently nuzzled his face. “So are you,” Leo said, his voice so soft, so  _ sad. _ Raph truly hated it. 

Yet he leaned into Leo’s touch, pressed his face against the side of Leo’s. It was the only way he could touch his brother, the only way he could attempt to comfort him. Because he knew Leo needed comfort, needed it so  _ badly- _ they always took him away and probably tortured him, why they didn’t hurt him physically he didn’t know, but it was clear they were messing with Leo’s head. Leo was strong, hid the shaking of his limbs so well, but now that he was this close Raph could feel the constant shivering. They were getting to him. They were breaking him.

Leo leaned back, bringing the food up again. Raph wanted to keep protesting, but knew they were running out of time. If he stalled any longer, he would be left without food again, and so would Leo. It had been a trouble making Leo keep his own share of food instead of sneakily feeding it to his brothers, but at least he was eating, even if he insisted going last. Raph made sure to keep an eye on the container, to make sure that Leo left some for himself.

Raph tried to not think that he was eating out of Leo’s palm. Tried to ignore the way the hand feeding him trembled, tried to ignore the fact that his appetite wasn’t really affected by it. Hunger controlled him, made him not care- he was able to hold himself back only barely when he almost licked the palm of Leo’s hand to get the bread crumbs there, blindly driven by starvation, trying to get every last bit. 

Even now, after they had done this so many times, he could still feel the faint burn of humiliation. He pushed it away stubbornly. That’s what  _ they  _ wanted. Raph would not give them the satisfaction of breaking them like this. He would not die of hunger like a caged animal just because of his pride. This was simply for survival. 

As always, he ran out of food too soon. His eyes darted to the container, where Leo’s portion lay. He shut his eyes quickly and turned his head away, feeling ashamed that he had even glanced at it.

“It’s alright.” Leo’s voice was still nothing but a raspy whisper. “You can have some more.”

“No!” Raph denied that right away, snapped his head back up to give Leo an angry glare. “Don’t even try to. Just eat it before they take it away.”

He felt Leo’s hesitation, but the leader didn’t offer him any more. He moved away from Raph to eat his share, not wanting to eat right in front of his starving brothers. The setting truly was cleverly cruel; when only one of them had their hands free, it meant that only one of them could eat at a time. The rest had to wait for their turn, or lament on the fact that they had already had their share, but were still left feeling horribly hungry.

When the men came to get the empty container, Leonardo scooted back from them. The earlier attempts at jumping the guards had come with painful warnings, and Leo had learned not to try, not to even stay close to them. If they could reach him, they would strike at him, even if he was just sitting still. And he could never fight back- not when he was weak, unarmed and tied up.

Leonardo swayed again, struggling to keep his balance even while sitting. He was holding his head, biting his lip. He needed help, something to fight the drugs in his system, something for the pain. Raph wanted to tell him to come back to him, to lean against him so he could rest. It would do nothing for his condition, but at least Leo would have some warmth, maybe some comfort. Raph knew  _ he  _ needed it, needed the knowledge that at least Leo was still alive and breathing, still with them- but he knew that Mikey and Don needed that comfort as well. Leo took turns sleeping next to them, but he was usually huddled against Mikey, for the capture was hardest on him. 

When Leo lowered his tied hands again, he limped to Don, changed whispered words with him. Then he moved to Mikey, talked with him as well. Raph could make out the hushed comforts, the hitch in Mikey’s voice, but he tried to give them their moment. Didn’t look at them, stared at the floor of the cell, trying to ignore the lingering hunger.

To Raph’s surprise Leo dragged himself back to him, settling down next to him, leaning against his side. A deep, shaky breath left him.

“Is this okay?” Leo asked, and Raph nodded. He knew Leo wanted to know if the position was alright, to make sure he wasn’t leaning too heavily on his brother. He asked the same thing every time. Leo leaning against him was more than welcome, and even if the position had been awkward for him, Raph wouldn’t have said anything. If the only thing he could do was to give his brother a comfortable resting position, he wouldn’t push him away by saying it was uncomfortable for  _ him. _

It was truly pathetic that this was the best thing, the  _ only  _ thing he could do for Leo. 

“You’ve made it worse,” Leo continued speaking, coughing a little. Raph looked at him, realized that Leo was looking up at his wrists. Dried blood covered his skin and the metal around it, the result of his fights against the chains.

“It’s nothin’,” Raph mumbled, looking away. It really wasn’t. He felt embarrassed that Leo even mentioned his aching wrists.

“Don’t try to offer your food away again,” Leo mumbled, leaning his head against Raph’s plastron. The younger turtle looked at him again, saw how Leo fought to keep his eyes open. It was a losing battle. Everything was, lately.

“Sleep,” Raph simply ordered, then took a second glance at his brother. Leo’s skin felt cold, his speech was slurred. Was it safe to let him sleep? What else could he do other than let him rest? Keeping him awake would do no good to the exhausted turtle. 

He glanced towards Don for aid, and his heart fell when he looked at his chained brothers. Mikey was looking at them, the hunger for comfort clear in his eyes. Don looked pale, his cheek resting against his shoulder. The starvation had weakened all of them, and it looked like Don was coming down with something. No wonder, considering the conditions they were kept in.

“‘m serious,” Leo slurred, bringing Raph’s attention back to him. “You need to keep eating. Need to save your strength. I’ll get you out of here, Raph… I’ll get you out.”

Raph wanted to snort at that. Hope was slipping away. Leo was in no condition to get them out of here with the constant drugging. All Leo was able to do was to… exist. Endure the drugs, help them with the food, sleep, repeat. Again and again. Leo was fading, slipping away from them, and so was hope.

“One way…” Leo continued, his voice barely audible anymore, “...or another.”

Raph couldn’t help feeling empty at his words. There was something about them that made him… simply empty. It was a promise, and Leo never made them easily. It was a promise of hope; it was a promise of something horrible.

“Go to Mikey,” Raph only grunted. “He needs ya. He’s not doing too well.” None of them were, but there was not much they could do about it. But right now Mikey needed someone to be close to him, and that was something Leo could do. Raph glanced down at him; if Leo only could move again. It had looked like Leo had used all his remaining strength just to lay down next to him. 

Raph didn’t want him to go, wanted to keep him against himself, even if just for a few hours. He didn’t even want to make the leader move, for he knew it only brought him pain. But he glanced at the youngest again, felt Leo’s head move as well. Mikey wasn’t looking at them anymore, but his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Raph felt that awful, crushing feeling in his chest again, and knew Leo felt it too, for the leader was pushing himself up again.

“Take it slow,” Raph whispered to him.  _ Stay with me, for a bit longer, _ he almost added, but kept his mouth shut.

Leo left, moving with the same difficulty as always, and Raph watched as he settled down next to Mikey. A small smile appeared on Mikey’s face, filling some of the emptiness Leo had left in his wake. Mikey would feel better like this, and that’s what mattered. Raph’s eyes moved to Don again, and he grit his teeth as worry washed away the small piece of happiness Mikey’s smile had brought him.

Don really wasn’t looking too good. Leo wasn’t the only one fading, he was just slipping away the fastest.

* * *

Leonardo was brought in struggling.

He never fought the men when they brought him to the cell, knowing it was useless, so his brothers watched in confusion as their leader fought the men’s hold on him. Leonardo was so weak that they didn’t really have any problem dragging him in, but the chained turtles could hear one of them hiss as Leonardo’s elbow connected with his cheek.

The leader was never brought in with gentle hands, but this time he was tossed in roughly, his plastron kicked for good measure. Clearly a payback for the trouble he had given them. The kick sent him over onto his shell, Leonardo’s face now visible to them.

His eyes were wide. Glassed over, but wide. Now that no one was touching him he wasn’t trying to move, the men walking away from the cell. Leonardo’s chest was rising and falling too quickly, his mouth open to desperately draw in air. 

“Leo!” They called for him, tried to get his attention when Leonardo did nothing but stared at the ceiling with wild eyes. “Leo, can you hear us?”

It took some time, but slowly, slowly Leonardo’s breathing eased, and when he blinked his eyes there was some focus in them. The fear in them slid away, replaced with confusion. He blinked again, craning his neck to properly look at his brothers.

They looked back at him with intense worry. Leonardo closed his eyes and rolled over onto his side, biting back a wince as his bruises ached at the movement. With some trouble he managed to push himself up on his knees so that he could move, and once he did, he simply went for the brother closest to him, Donatello.

Without saying anything, Leonardo leaned against his brother and hid his face in the crook of his neck. His breathing had calmed down, but it still wasn’t back to normal. Donatello felt how badly he shivered.

“Leo, what happened?” Donatello asked. The genius was definitely coming down with something, his head felt heavy and his vision was slightly blurry- but he pushed all that away to focus on the brother buried onto his side. “Leo?”

“‘m sorry,” Leonardo mumbled. “It’ll pass. It’ll pass. I’m okay…”

He wasn’t, but nobody said anything. Don could feel both Raph and Mikey stare at them, could feel their anxious concern. 

“Whatever they’re giving me, it’s making me see things,” Leo continued after a moment, still pressing himself against Don. “It feels so real. It’s- it’s difficult not to react to it, it’s…”

Don leaned his cheek onto the top of Leo’s head, closing his eyes. “It’s okay, Leo, don’t apologize. Whatever you saw wasn’t real. The drugs made you react to it. Everything’s okay.”

Expect for the fact that they were captured with no way out, each one of them slowly withering away. But that wasn’t what Leo needed to hear right now. 

The door of the cell opened again, making all of them flinch. Don felt just how badly it made Leo tense- how it made him press even harder against him, like his brother was afraid they were here to take him away again. But they weren’t. They opened the door to place the familiar container on the floor, and then the door closed again.

They were all silent, letting Leo collect himself. Don was still quietly murmuring to him, and finally Leo pulled away. Not meeting anyone’s eyes he turned to the container, limping towards it. Don watched after him until his vision blurred again- he blinked his eyes hurriedly, fighting the nausea pooling in the bottom of his stomach. He had to fight it, couldn’t afford to get sick. His body was too weak for that; even a common cold could be fatal when they were so starved and weak.

So he fought it. Fought to keep his eyes open, fought to focus on the things going on around him.

Yet in the end, he was surprised when Leo was suddenly in front of him, holding a piece of bread. Had he already given Mikey his portion? He tried to look at the youngest, but he was too tired to move his head that still rested against his shoulder. 

“-nnie. Donnie?”

Leo was talking to him. Why was it so hard to focus? He had just been talking with him, comforting him, yet now he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Don... I know you’re tired, but you have to eat.” 

Leo’s struggle to make Don eat made both Raph and Mikey look at them. Leo was holding the piece of bread in front of Don’s face, but he wasn’t reacting to it.

Don had slowly been getting worse, not really responding whenever they talked. Not like they talked that much anymore. At first they had, to make time pass, to keep themselves sane. But even then, Mikey, who usually talked so much, hadn’t said much. Conversations had become short, the cell silent more often than not. But as Don had gotten sicker and sicker, he had gotten even quieter, sleeping more and more. 

Leo was now touching the side of his face, not needing to feel his forehead, knowing already that Don was running a high fever. His hand slid from his cheek to his chin, lifting his head, his hand shaking as he did so.

“It’s not much. You need it, please, just a little, Donnie.”

There was no strength behind Leo’s words, no orders Don had to respond to, only pleads. He had been able to respond to Leo’s suffering when he had been thrown in, the pain his brother had been in had broken through his fever haze- but it was back full force now, and he couldn’t answer the plea.

Yet… he had to, or Leo would stay here, wouldn’t move onto Raph, leaving him and himself without food.

But what was the point of eating the bread? He was sick, and even in his feverish state he knew he wouldn’t be getting any better without proper medication. Eating the bread would… be a waste.

“Leo…” Don spoke, his eyes sliding completely shut. How to say this so that his brother would understand? Making him realize that the bread was useless to him would be impossible. “I’m sick.”

“I know, Don,” Leo said, and Don could hear the way he struggled to stay calm, to hide how worried he really was. “That’s why you have to eat this, to get better.”

“No… it won’t help.” Don took a deep breath. It made his lungs ache. “Leo… you… you know what I’m trying to say.”

He felt the way his brother tensed, knew he understood. Knew he wouldn’t accept it.

“Don-”

“ _ Leo- _ ”

“Donnie, I’m _ sorry. _ ” The change in Leo’s voice, the absolute despair caught him off guard, and Don forced his eyes open to look at him. The open emotion on Leo’s face startled him. “I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting so long. I’m  _ so _ sorry. But I need you to keep waiting. Just a bit longer- I’m so close to figuring this out, I know their shifts, I know the corridors, I know the  _ exit _ . Don’t- don’t do this now, Don. Don’t  _ ever  _ do this.”

That made all of his brothers just stare at him. They didn’t know if Leo was telling the truth, or if he was just saying it to make them hold on. And Don  _ wanted  _ to hold on, wanted to believe his brother, his leader, but he was tired. His body hurt all over from the misuse, his thoughts muffled by the fever. 

Leo lifted his hand from his chin, gently stroking his cheek with his fingers. 

“I know I’m the worst,” Leo whispered, laughed a short, shaky laugh. It was a broken sound. “For asking you to keep suffering. If…” 

Don opened his mouth to say something, but Leo’s eyes were suddenly so intense that he couldn't get anything out, couldn’t do anything than stare at him. 

“If I fail. If it’s…” Leo struggled to continue. The strength in his eyes faded. “If it’s- if it’s too much, then. Then…”

He dropped his head, unable to look at him anymore.

“Then I’ll. I’ll let you- I’ll do it  _ for  _ you-”

The words were so heavy that the tears didn’t surprise them, they only broke the last pieces of their hearts. Mikey sniffled, Raph felt his throat tighten and his eyes burn. Don leaned against Leo’s touch, closed his eyes and let his own tears fall.

“I’ll wait,” Don whispered. “I’ll wait.” 

* * *

When they make him choose, he takes the items presented before him with shaky hands.

They’ve just taken him out of the crate; he’s disoriented, taking in the fact that he’s not in the dark anymore. He’s taking short, quick breaths. It’s simply a habit now, his body unsure when air is stolen from him again. It hasn’t been, not really, he thinks. But the hallucinations always revolve around that; so many times he’s been slowly choking inside the crate, the drugs making him feel like he’s slowly dying. They make him hear sounds outside the crate- awful sounds, sounds he could wish he’d forget, and the things the drugs make him feel in the crate, his skin crawls just thinking about it-

So instead, he stares numbly at the items. They’re blackmailing him to give away his senses even outside the crate. He gets to choose- losing his sight, hearing and ability to speak, or the food for his brothers.

It’s an easy choice, his brothers can’t go without what little food they give them. It’s an easy choice, but it’s not easy to place the gag into his mouth. He knew it was part of the torture to make him do this himself. His hands tremble- he doesn’t want this. Being able to speak with his brothers, seeing and hearing them, has been his only savior. The only thing keeping him sane. Now they were taking it away, casting him into that eternal silence and darkness he had become too familiar with. 

Leonardo closes his eyes as he places the blindfold over his face. He tugs the hood stealing his hearing over his head, grits his teeth when everything goes silent. All he can hear is his own erratic heartbeat.

When he’s grabbed and lifted up from the floor, he feels a needle prick his neck. 

His eyes snap open and go wide behind the blindfold. They’re- they’re drugging him when he’s like this, when they’re about to take him to his brothers- they can’t, he already let them see him hallucinating once, but he had his vision and hearing then, was able to snap out of it. Now he doesn’t know what he’ll do, how he’ll react, he can’t let them see him like this, he-

He whines behind the gag, a desperate sound, but nothing stops the cold liquid from traveling through his veins. Familiar anxiety creeps in. He can’t move, can’t see, he’s helpless-

When Leonardo is brought into the cell, his brothers see him with the hood, with his hands tied behind his back so that he can’t remove it. Leonardo is dropped to the floor where he writhes, shakes his head, his voice muffled under the hood. He’s in pain.

“Don’t just- don’t just leave him like that,” Mikey pleads the men when they turn to leave. “What do you want from us?  _ What do you want? _ ”

They haven’t heard the men talk, and it’s no different this time. They walk away and leave them to watch their brother stuffer, unable to do anything for him.

It feels like it goes on for an eternity, the way Leo’s body convulses, the muffled sounds of pain loud in the quiet cell. Mikey’s not even looking at him anymore, yet he sees the way Leo struggles from the agony caused by the drug even if he closes his eyes. It’s burned into his brain.

Raph’s talking to him, or maybe trying to talk to Leo. Mikey’s not sure, just tries to drown out the suffering sounds. It’s just too much, at this point. Hopeless. Nothing but pain.

As he looks away from Leo, he looks at Don. He’s holding his head down, but his eyes are open. Mikey knows he’s only barely conscious. He hasn’t been responsive today. Is he aware of the suffering Leo is going through? Mikey wishes he isn’t. Don’s in enough pain already.

Raph’s not talking anymore either. Both of his brothers are quiet. Not calling out to Leo, not fighting their chains. Numb. Like they’ve… given up. Why? Leo had told them he was close to getting them out. Why not? They couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t even help their brother, suffering right in front of them.

Mikey’s eyes move slowly back to Leo. His struggles are starting to die out; either he’s too exhausted or the hallucinations are finally fading.

Leo had told them he was close to getting them out, but he hadn’t promised to get them out  _ alive. _ Mikey knew that, had known it for a while now- but he’d held onto hope. But now… now as he looks at Leo’s prone form, he runs out of tears before they really even begin, too dehydrated to even cry. He looks at Don again, stares at him, and everything that was left just… breaks.

“Raphie.” 

Mikey speaks, and Raph jerks his head up. He’s been trying to talk to the youngest after Leo was brought in, but gave up after Mikey simply looked away. He’s not even sure what he’s said, just fought the need to utter out an apology after apology, for he hadn’t been stronger for his family- while staring at Leo in pain, not giving himself the permission to look away. Needing to see and memorize the price his brother was paying for his weakness.

Raph realizes how dead the tone Mikey used is. He wanted Mikey to answer him, to say anything, but now that he speaks, it makes him feel cold.

And as he looks over to Mikey, he sees Don as well. Don’s been unresponsive to Leo’s pain, telling them how far gone he is. And now, now as he looks at Don, he-

Mikey lifts his head, and their eyes meet. The look in Mikey’s eyes makes Raph’s insides twist, and he knows what the youngest is about to say even before he says it.

“I-I think Don’s not breathing, Raphie.”

Time slows. It’s hard, no, impossible to wrap his mind around that.

“Donnie.” Mikey has turned his full attention to the genius, calls his name over and over again. Tries to get a response, even though it’s been impossible for a long time already. “Donnie. Donnie.  _ Donnie. _ ”

His eyes were open just a moment ago, but not anymore.

Michelangelo’s voice is shaky, in danger of giving out. With every call of Donatello’s name he turns more desperate, his voice more hoarse. Slowly the pleads turn into desperate shouts, there’s not enough left of him to make it loud, but the anger bleeds through. He’s not asking Donatello to answer him anymore, he’s demanding it, pulling against his restraints.

“Mike,” Raphael tries, but he doesn’t react, keeps his eyes glued to Donatello. Michelangelo catches his breath, opens his mouth again- but during the short break they realize just how silent the cell has gotten. They can’t hear Leonardo’s ragged breathing anymore.

Leo lays absolutely still. And Don- Don is- they need Leo, need him to be alright, he’s the only one who can check on Don, the one who can tell them he’s alright, that’s he’s not- 

“Leo, Leo,  _ Leo! _ ”

Just like with Don, Mikey calls for him, unsure if Leo can even hear them through the hood over his head. Mikey calls for him until his voice goes too raspy, and then it’s Raph calling his name instead, but the leader doesn’t even twitch. He’s too still.

The realization sinks in. Don slumped against his chains, silent. Leo lying on the floor, silent.

There’s enough left in Mikey to scream one last time. Raph doesn’t have anything left in him to break, so he listens, numb, stares at Leo, who doesn’t respond to the worst sound Raph has ever heard. The desperation in Mikey’s voice is so horrible, and Raph knows, better than anyone, what a horrible person he is, yet he still doesn’t know what he has done to be punished like this. He doesn’t know anything crueler than hearing his baby brother like this, so broken.

He wants to get out of his chains and shut Mikey up, just to make it stop, just to make all of this stop. To let his brother out of his misery. Don and Leo have left already, anyway. Maybe he should be mad at them for leaving them behind, but he’s not. He understands. 

And he forgives them, even thanks them for letting go. He forgives Leo for telling them to hold on, forgives Don for leaving without a word. There was no need to say anything- they would follow, anyway, and everything could be said then. 

“ _ Raph, _ ” Mikey gasps, his voice barely audible. “It hurts.  _ It hurts, _ Raph.”

“I know, Mike,” Raph says, his voice flat, void of emotion. “I know.”

He’s not mad, but he’s hurt. He forgives him, he really does, but Leo had never broken a promise before. But now…. 

_ If I fail, I’ll do it  _ for  _ you- _

“Why,” Raph manages, his voice helpless when his eyes burn, “why’d ya leave us behind, Leo?”


	7. Misery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 20. Lost  
> No 25. Disorientation, blurred vision, ringing ears   
> No 26. Concussion
> 
> Somewhat random chapter this time. I'm going to be busy for the rest of the month, but I'll do my best to finish this thing, I've already gotten so far... T-T

With a wince, Leonardo opened his eyes.

It was hard to make sense of anything. The world around him was blurry and his whole body burned, especially his head, making it difficult to focus. Amongst the messy chaos that was his current state of mind, there was only one thought he could make sense of. 

_ Hide. _

The only thing that existed for him – besides the pain – was the desperate need to get away and hide. He didn’t know from what and why, all he knew was that it was too bright here, he wasn’t in the sewers and he was hurt – if he didn’t hide he’d be hurt more.

Yet his body wouldn't move, his limbs unresponsive. Which only made that desperate need to hide grow. If he was hurt and out in the open, he couldn’t defend himself, he’d be seen, he’d get caught. All his life, taught to seek the shadows and hide, and here he was, doing nothing to mask his presence. 

He had no other option than to wait until the ringing in his ears started to fade, the pain dimming into a tolerable level. Once it did he could tell that he was lying down on his side, a cold surface underneath him. The burning need to get up and get away still remained, and he struggled to position his hands under him, finding the simple movement more difficult than it should’ve been.

While he made slow attempts to move, memories started to flood in, piece by piece. He knew it was an early morning, the busiest moment of the day. The sun was already up, he remembered seeing it slowly rise from the horizon. How had he seen it if he wasn’t on a rooftop, lying down somewhere cold instead? He couldn’t remember coming down from the rooftop. Had he fallen? Was that why he hurt so much?

People were rushing by. He could hear them now. This was rare; at this time of the day, he was usually at the lair, far from the human world above them. It was almost a rule to them, don’t go topside when the sun is up, unless a mission absolutely requires it. And if you do, you stay away from the streets, away from the humans.

Now he knew he was lying down on a street, no, on an alley most likely- the humans would be screaming if he was just lying down in the middle of the street. He still couldn’t see, his vision was blurry, slow to return. But he felt them close- felt the cars rushing by, heard the commotion as people headed towards their destinations.

He was right next to them. Why wasn’t he hearing screams? Even gasps? Nothing aimed at him. Just a distant car horn going off. Heels against the sidewalk. A phone ringing. Dogs barking.

He must’ve had some luck. Had fallen out of their sight. He was still trying to move, trying to push himself away from the busy street to retreat further into the alley he now suspected he had fallen into. But his body still wouldn’t listen. Nausea washed over him as the world around him just wouldn’t stop spinning. He closed his eyes, but it did little to help the sick feeling.

A sharp pain pierced his head, and he remembered the chase. It hadn’t been the first time he’d been chased through the late hours of the night, from rooftop to rooftop, never able to shake his chasers, running until the sun was starting to rise, his wounds burning with every step, getting desperate-

His left knee had buckled underneath him, and suddenly he’d been falling. Moving now made pain spike up in his body, his head was still aching terribly. He gasped breathlessly, his hand flying to his mouth to silence himself. He couldn’t voice the discomfort, the humans couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t make a noise, had to deny the pain, remain unseen… had to… hide…

He felt lightheaded, telling him he was about to pass out. But he couldn’t! He was still too close to the humans! Forcing his eyes open despite the pain it caused Leonardo could now see where he was, understanding why the bypassers hadn’t noticed him yet. He had fallen behind a dumpster. He remembered now- hitting the top of it on his way down, the harsh sound the contact had made, the pain flaring as he was thrown off of it onto the ground, everything going black immediately afterwards.

How nobody hadn’t seen or heard his fall, he didn’t know. Turtle luck was a strange thing.

He was near the back of the alley, that was probably why. He couldn’t sense his chasers nearby, but then again, he didn’t really trust his senses right now. Yet the concussion he probably had couldn’t be that bad if he remembered what had happened, and was aware he had it… right?

If his chasers hadn’t followed him down here, perhaps they had deemed it too risky to follow him when there were so many people close by. Perhaps they were still on the rooftops, waiting for him to move, pouncing down on him the moment he did.

Or perhaps they had seen the way he had hit his head and had thought their job was finished. He could imagine how rough his fall had looked, and since he had blacked out, he had simply lain still on the asphalt. He could feel the warm and sticky liquid still flowing down the side of his head. When he focused on it, he realized there was quite a lot of it. How did he feel it only now?

Well, there were more pressing things than some blood. Like…

Leonardo closed his eyes when the nause spiked up again. He’d been in a hurry… why? It didn’t feel half bad to lay here, to keep his eyes closed. It helped with the horrible throbbing constantly going through his head. His night had been pretty awful, if he could be honest, and right now lying still felt nice. Why couldn’t he have nice things?

A group of children yelled at each other as they ran past the alley Leonardo was lying on. Humans. Right. Too close. Had to get away- had to hide.

That’s what their Sensei had told them all their lives. Stay out of sight. Stay in the shadows. Hide. Hide. Hide. He remembered being just a child, kneeling in the dojo, listening to their Sensei with wide eyes. Taking his words to the heart. Breaking the rules sometimes, of course, sneaking out into the city when young curiosity got the better of him and his brothers…

But he’d learned the hard way how important hiding was to them. It was their lifeline. Something that came so easily to them- if they were visiting April and she got a knock on her door, all their friend had to do was to blink and they were gone. It was natural, the way of the ninja. So why couldn’t he do it now? Why was his body so unresponsive, so numb, his thoughts so muddy?

Why was he here? Why did he hurt so? Hadn’t… hadn’t he just remembered? 

Stomaching the pain moving his head caused he turned it slightly to better see around himself. He still couldn’t see as clearly as he would’ve liked, but he spotted a manhole cover not far from him. But to get to it, he would have to move away from behind the dumpster- and at this time of the morning, there were no shadows to hide in. He’d have to be out in the open, and red alarms sounded in his head as he contemplated it. He wouldn’t be fast enough to get there without being seen, not when he was like this. Nobody had seen him lay here, so didn’t that mean that he  _ was  _ hiding? He was. He was hiding, and hiding was better than being seen, no matter what.

So, he was doing the right thing by staying still.

Or… was he? He... couldn’t really stay, either, could he? The blood over his face was warm. Reminded him of something. Told him… that something was wrong. That something should be done.

There was always something to do. Always busy. The lair they had now was new- they had been forced to move,  _ again, _ and they were still fixing the place. Donatello would overwork himself trying to get everything running, Michelangelo would get distracted by all the new rooms and items they had gathered, Raphael would be pissy that he wasn’t there to help clean up the place. They would worry if he didn’t return before sunrise.

Hadn’t the sun risen already? He had seen it. Hadn’t he?

Opening his eyes – when had he closed them? – Leonardo tried to look up at the sky to see if the sun really was up. But the brightness of the sky surprised him, made him wince and quickly close his eyes again- bad. Bad, bad, bad. He shouldn’t be seeing the sky this blue. It should be dark when he looked up. It was all wrong, meant something bad for him. He shouldn’t be here. 

Leonardo positioned his hands underneath him, having a feeling he had already done this before, and pushed. All he managed to do was make himself cry out; his body protested the attempt, and he slumped back down. He held his breath, waited- if someone had heard him and decided to come investigate-

Seconds turned into minutes, and nobody came. There was enough commution going on so that his voice hadn’t carried over. Not like anyone would feel the need to come investigate a random moan coming from a dirty alleyway.

Leonardo exhaled slowly. The pavement underneath his cheek was still cold from the chilly night. The blood on him didn’t feel as warm as before.

He thought about the manhole cover again. He’d be seen if he tried to get there. He’d be seen, and he’d risk his whole family. Even if he managed to get himself underground after being seen, there would be a search down in the sewers. After everything that happened in the city, Bishop’s mutants and aliens, people would come after them if they were suspicious that mutants were roaming the city again. He’d risk them finding their new home.

He felt lost. He didn’t understand what was so wrong with staying here, hidden, not risking his family. He didn’t understand the voice in his head still screaming at him to go, move. He felt like he was running out of time, yet he wasn’t sure why. The sun wasn’t touching the alleyway, but he didn’t think he was supposed to be feeling this cold. Maybe that was where the worry was coming from. He should respond to it, but instead he just shivered. Someone laughed as they passed the alleyway.

The sound made him crack his eyes open, only for blood to trickle over his left eye, forcing it back shut. More concern he didn’t know how to respond to. Blood was a bad sign, usually, not always, he could still remember the first time one of them had badly scraped their knee, how the amount of blood had startled them. He was pretty sure it had been Raph, of course it had been, he had always been the one covered in band-aids, always the one to jump head-first into trouble.

Was he the one in trouble now? No, ridiculous… he remembered again, remembered that he had just fallen from a rooftop. He wouldn’t die by  _ falling off a rooftop.  _ He was fine.

How high had the drop been? Was something broken, was that the reason he couldn’t move? His brothers would never let him hear the end of this. Leonardo, the Master Ninja, falling off a roof. Funny.

He really should get underground. If he was this hurt, his enemies would have too much of an advantage over him, if they found him here. But the risk of getting seen was still overwhelming. It was difficult to think. He was the one who always made the decisions, but now a simple choice felt impossible. He knew the decision shouldn’t have been that hard to make, somewhere in his mind it was clear, obvious, but he couldn’t quite reach the answer.

Too disoriented. Too dizzy. Too- too much pain. He gritted his teeth. If he waited any longer, his brothers would get worried and go looking for him. They shouldn’t be out if the sun was up. Shouldn’t be stupid like him. Yet… they were probably already looking for him. Every second he hesitated would put them in danger, would cost them. Every second he hesitated would cost  _ him. _

He lifted his hand, tried to reach the wound on his head, just to see how much blood there was. Probably not a wise thing to do, but his thoughts were scattered. Maybe this would tell him how much time he had left.  _ None! _ Screamed a part in his brain, a part that was quickly washed under a wave of dizziness. His hand fell back down. He needed to choose. No, there was no choice- it was obvious what he had to do. Why wasn’t he doing it?

Why was it so cold even though the sun was up? It was rare to be in the city during daytime. Must’ve been a special occasion. Despite the danger, he did take his brothers topside during daytime, sometimes. Just to let them feel the sun. They all liked the warmth, would’ve loved to just lay under the warm rays, but basking in the sun was only possible at the farmhouse. Their visits there were too rare. Maybe they could take some time off, go there… 

Warm days were nice, but Leo would always prefer the city during the night. Standing on a rooftop, watching over the sea of lights. The city was different during daytime, it was fascinating to see the change, but right now… he couldn’t see much more than some of the alley. Trash on the ground. A dropped coin. Nothing unusual. Nothing worth seeing. Next time he’d take his brothers with him, like he usually did. Why weren’t they with him now? He couldn’t remember. With them it wouldn’t have mattered that there hadn’t been anything interesting to see. They always knew how to pass the time. Time… he had been running out of time, hadn’t he? It didn’t feel like it, now. 

He shivered again. Knew distantly that he had to get a grip, listen to his instinct. He had to go. But- the sun was up. He had to hide, and right now, he was hidden. Hidden meant safe. Why would he need to go? He was safe here. Safe. He was safe…

It would be nice to feel safe and really believe he was. There were always dangers lurking behind the next corner, waiting for him and his family. Hadn’t last night proved that? He couldn’t remember why he had gone out while they were still fixing up the new lair, maybe he had been sent out to get something. Maybe some tools. Maybe food.

He would return with nothing. Well, that wasn’t entirely true- he would return with injuries. Injuries meant misery. He’d return with misery.

Wasn’t that what he often did? Got home injured. Made his brothers worry. 

He’d been happy about the new lair. Their new rooms. There was a big space for Donatello’s lab, and they had lately found one of those old arcade game machines from the junkyard. Donatello had promised to fix it for Michelangelo. Raphael had a bigger garage now. Which was good news for both him and Donatello- a bigger garage meant bigger projects. The new dojo was also more roomier. They hadn’t gotten around to using it yet, and Leonardo had been looking forward to that.

The happiness lingered, even as his eyes fell closed and didn’t open again.

* * *

_ “Ya found him right next to a manhole? What the hell was he thinking, not getting underground?” _

_ “He’s badly concussed and hurt. He was in no condition to notice it – and too injured to move, even if he had.” _

_ “Well, he also had his shell cell with him-” _

_ “ _ Raph, _ he almost cracked his skull open _ \-  _ I don’t know if he was even conscious after his fall. _ ”

_ “Shit, it’s  _ that _ bad?” _

_ “I had to give him a lot of blood, yes, it’s… it’s bad.” _

_ “He’s going to be alright, though, right?” _

_ “I don’t know, Mikey. I’m not a doctor. I don’t know if he’ll be alright, I don’t even- I don’t even know if he’ll ever wake up again!” _

He’d been right.

He’d returned with misery again.

The haze in his head prevented him from even trying to reply to the distant voices around him. He had no way to soothe the hurt he’d caused. The voices of his brothers faded, and so did he.

* * *

They had nothing but bad days.

Leonardo had been unconscious for half a week. He had woken up, briefly, had tried to speak- but his words had been slurred, completely incoherent. 

“..nt…. to… cause... you...”

He was awake now, but like all the times before, nothing he said made sense. Words could be recognized from here and there, but even when put together, they rarely meant anything. It… wasn’t good. They all still held onto hope, but were starting to realize that even if Leo survived this, he might not make a complete recovery. 

It was scary. If that was the case, they didn’t know what would follow. How severe the damage done to Leo was, how it would affect him and their family in the long run. 

“It’s okay, bro. We’re here, we got you.”

Michelangelo was sitting next to Leonardo’s bed, lightly petting his cheek until the frown caused by the broken sentences eased from his face. He didn’t know if words meant anything to Leonardo, but that didn’t stop him from trying to reach his brother. 

Leo never looked directly at them; the look in his eyes was always glassy, like he wasn’t completely awake. Maybe he wasn’t, but even this was better than the total stillness, the unnervingly long periods of unconsciousness.

But like always, Leo’s eyes were starting to slide shut all too soon. 

“Hey… stay awake if you can, okay?” Mikey’s hand moved to grip his, gently squeezing his fingers. “Just a bit longer?”

No response. Never a response. 

“Leo… Don says it doesn’t look too good. I mean, he doesn’t outright say it, but I’m not stupid- I can see it for myself. We all see it. And… and we don’t know how to deal with something like this, and it’s- it’s killing Don. Raph, too. He goes out alone and acts reckless- it’s just- it’s no good, Leo.”

His eyes burned, but he hadn’t allowed himself to cry before, so why should he now? Nothing had changed. There was still hope. There...

There was the fact that Leo’s eyes were closed, that he was unconscious again. But he had been hurt pretty bad- he just needed more rest, right?

“I get it,” Mikey said, taking a shaky breath. “You’re tired, so you gotta sleep. Heh, I never understood how you could get up willingly so early every morning. Guess you have some serious sleep debt, huh?”

Mikey lowered his head, still holding Leo’s hand.

“I honestly don’t know how we’re going to do this,” he mumbled. “I don’t know how to stop Don from overworking himself by researching all this brain stuff, I don’t know how to keep Raph home. I don’t… I don’t know how to keep them safe- I mean, I couldn’t keep  _ you  _ safe.”

It was starting to become really difficult to fight the tears.

“And I know we couldn't have known that you were in trouble, but- but it feels like we should’ve, you know? Once you didn’t get back, we should’ve… should’ve gone after you sooner. I know blaming myself won’t change anything… but the guilt is just-”

Leo squeezed his hand. Mikey’s head shot up, his eyes locked onto Leo’s face, but his eyes were still closed.

“Did you just-?”

It hadn’t happened before. Leo had tried to speak, but he had never moved otherwise. Was this good? It had to be good! He hadn’t imagined it, right? It had really happened, right?

“Can you- can you do that again? Leo?”

Voice shaky from hope, Mikey waited. And after a moment, there it was, another weak squeeze. Mikey knew he should call for his brothers, but what if this didn’t really mean anything? His brothers weren’t in any state to handle false hope-

“Do...n’t... t’ll Ra...ph…”

Leo was speaking, slurred like always, but Mikey listened intently. He could- he could actually make out the words this time. Yeah, he had to focus  _ really  _ hard, but in the end, he was pretty sure he caught the rest of the sentence. And what he heard honestly surprised him, so he had to make sure he had really heard right.

“Don’t... tell Raph you… fell off a roof?”

A corner of Leo’s mouth lifted, and he managed to make a small nod. For the first time in days, Mikey felt a grin on his face. He had  _ never  _ been so happy to hear his brother make a joke. Well, it wasn’t a joke, they knew Leo had fallen for real- but the fact that Leo could joke about it, the fact that he  _ remembered  _ it happening, the fact that he was able to  _ talk  _ about it- 

“Sorry bro, I think he already knows,” Mikey said, still grinning. “But I promise you he won’t tease you about it. Me, on the other hand…”

Leo smiled, still keeping his eyes closed. “Don’t... you… dare.”

This was really happening. Leo was able to speak, still slowly, but this was better than what they’d had ever since finding him. Mikey could hardly sit still.

“Oh man, Leo. I- I’d hug you  _ so  _ hard if I could. I have to- I have to go get Don. Do you think you could stay awake for that long?”

Leo shook his head. It was the smallest of movements; Mikey could imagine moving his head hurt him.

“Okay, okay, that’s okay, you need to rest. Just- try to wake again soon, okay?”

“M’de… you…” Leo was no longer smiling. “W’rry. Did..n’t… me...an…. t’.”

Mikey swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat. Yeah, he had worried them. Yeah, they knew he hadn’t meant to, but- there was no denying that he had scared them half to death when they had followed his phone’s signal and found him lying in a puddle of his own blood. No denying how scared they had been when Leo had woken up, only to be unable to respond to them, simply falling back asleep over and over again-

“It’s okay, Leo,” Mikey shrugged, even though Leo couldn’t see it. “It’s okay now. You’re going to be okay!”

Leo’s breathing had evened out again, telling Mikey he really was asleep this time. Yet the smile on his face never left as he got up to tell the news to his brothers.

Don spent the rest of the evening in Leo’s room, monitoring his vitals, wanting to see him awake for himself. Raph came back home, didn’t say much, but stayed in the room as well.

Mikey had the feeling things would be alright. He  _ knew  _ things would be alright. Leo only needed to wake up again, and both Raph and Don would think so too. 

It didn’t happen during the rest of the day, neither during the following night. It was okay, he would wait. They all would.

The next day, Leo kept sleeping. And the next.

After that, Don said he wasn’t sleeping, that he had fallen into a coma. But that was nonsense! Leo had- had been able to speak, had clearly understood what Mikey had told him- it just made no sense. He refused to believe it; it wasn’t like it would be the first time Don was wrong. The day they had found Leo, Don had said he didn’t know if Leo would ever even wake up. Well, he had, and he had spoken with him just the other day. He simply needed to rest- Mikey knew it.

So he sat next to the bed, held Leo’s hand, and waited for the next squeeze. He knew it would come. He knew it. The tears drying on his cheeks didn’t belong there, there was no reason for them. No reason for the misery he felt in his heart when the hand in his stayed cold and unmoving.


	8. The way Everything Breaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 4. Buried Alive  
> No 21. Hypothermia  
> No 27. Extreme Weather
> 
> I end up writing about snow pretty often… *has Derelict flashbacks*

The edge of the icy road came threateningly close when Raphael aggressively turned the wheel of the Battle Shell. The wheels of the vehicle spun furiously on the slippery surface of the road, just barely preventing the Battle Shell from sliding into the railing separating the road from the ravine next to it.

“Raph, slow down! The road’s nothing but ice!” Leonardo yelped when the vehicle made another sudden turn. He had been standing in the back of the Battle Shell, and hadn’t had time to grab onto anything, so the turn had thrown him against the nearby wall. He had been in the middle of bandaging his arm, and quickly tied the hastily-made binding before another sharp turn could be made. Once the injured limb was taken care of, Leo bent down to grab the winter coat he had been wearing earlier. The weather outside was horrible, and the mission would’ve been impossible without some winter gear. Even with the coat on, the cold was still harsh on them, but at least it had given some shelter from the freezing wind. But not from the sword that had cut him earlier- he bit back a hiss as the cloth slid against his bandaged arm, focusing on grabbing the back of the nearest seat to try to keep his balance.

“Thanks for stating the obvious!” Raph yelled out in frustration. His fingers felt numb from the tight grip he had on the wheel, brow furrowed as he concentrated on keeping them on the road. “But in case ya forgot, the Foot is still after our shells, can’t exactly slow down!” 

“I did not forget,” Leo said through gritted teeth, glancing at his arm again. The blood wasn’t visible on the black clothing, and the wound in his arm wasn’t too deep. But having been smacked against the wall hadn’t done any good to it. Leo moved carefully towards the front part of the vehicle, grabbed the back of the seat next to Raph and jumped over it to sit down into the seat.

“Okay,  _ don’t  _ slow down,” Leo changed his mind when he glanced at the rear-view mirror. The Foot were stubborn, still giving chase, even though Raph was driving way too fast for such a dangerous road. He could see a Foot soldier opening the window of their vehicle and pointing at them with something. The sun had already set behind the mountains they were driving next to, so there wasn’t enough light to see- but Leo didn’t need light to know that whatever they were pointing at them couldn’t be anything good; some kind of a gun, most likely. It would make sense for them to try to shoot them off the road.

The Foot didn’t bring guns into their fights at the rooftops, but apparently they weren’t against shooting vehicles. They had been hanging out with the Purple Dragons too much.

“They’re going to shoot,” Leo informed hastily, even though there wasn’t really anything they could do about it. The road was too narrow; it wasn’t possible to try to dodge anything.

Instead, Raph pressed his foot on the gas, making the tires squeak. Leo grabbed the edge of his seat, throwing a heated look at Raph.

“I said _don’t_ _ slow down, _ not  _ go faster! _ ”

Leo trusted his brother to know what he was doing with the car, but the road was unfamiliar, icy and dangerous. Besides, Raph had crashed his Shell Cycle way too many times to bring Leo much comfort. It wasn’t that Raph was a bad driver, no, they would’ve crashed a long time ago if he was; it was just that he tended to get himself into situations just like the one they were currently in.

Tonight’s mission hadn’t gone the way they had planned. They hadn’t been prepared for the Foot and the Purple Dragons to team up to completely abandon their business in order to get the turtles. And the weather had changed out of nowhere- it had been snowing for some time now, which did  _ not  _ make driving the ice-coated road any easier. 

All the odds were against them. But what else was new?

“Not like I got much of an option,” Raph growled his answer. The Battle Shell was heavily armored, made to withstand bullets, but the turtles knew the Purple Dragons had bigger weapons than simple guns they would not hesitate to use on them.

It was snowing so badly now that Raph had to lean forward in his seat and squint, trying to see the road. The upcoming turns were getting harder to notice in time – and the next one was one of those turns you didn’t notice until it was too late.

Yet Raph turned the wheel, and the Battle Shell could’ve made it- but in that moment something worse than a bullet hit them. It felt like something had exploded in the back of the vehicle, the sound deafening. The back of the vehicle slid sideways from the force of the impact, causing the Battle Shell to crash into the railing. The heavy vehicle turned before crashing through it, sending them down into the ravine below.

* * *

Groaning, Raph pushed his head up from the slowly deflating airbag. It had most likely just saved his head from splitting into two, for he felt dizzy even though it had softened the hit he had received. He stared forward dumbly, still taking in the fact that there was an emptied airbag in front of him. Taking in the fact that he was  _ alive  _ and able to look at it.

He was bent forward against the airbag, and also slightly tilted sideways. His seat belt was keeping him in his seat, having most likely been part of the reason he was still alive, but he was now aware how uncomfortably it was digging into his shoulder. At least his winter coat was between the belt and his skin.

He hadn’t done more than lifted his head, feeling slightly dizzy and a little out of sorts. But when he tried to turn his head, he felt a jolt of pain in his neck, the feeling immediately making him stay still. As he blinked away the pain it fully sank in that yes, they had just fallen from the road and crashed down, yet somehow he was alive. Hurt, apparently, but alive. 

For a moment Raph felt fear – he didn’t feel any pain besides the ache in his neck, right shoulder and head, it wasn’t possible to just crash like that and magically be unharmed- and what about Leo? The vehicle was dark, there was no light coming from outside the vehicle, he couldn’t see anything-

“Raph?”

Leo’s voice stopped his fears from growing, and he let out a relieved sigh. Leo was conscious, already calling for him. They had both made it. He turned his head towards the voice, this time prepared for the pain in his neck. As expected, the pain was there, but it wasn’t as sharp as the first time he had tried to move. 

Despite being able to turn his head, he still couldn’t see anything in the dark, so he focused on himself first. He tried to move his legs, more relief washing over him when his limbs obeyed like they should. His muscles ached, but nothing seemed to be broken or unresponsive. Miracles did happen.

With a groan Raph rolled his shoulders, making a face at the pain the movement caused. He felt for the strap of the seat belt, wanting to get rid of it.

“Raph, are you alright?”

The worry in Leo’s voice was more audible now. Raph felt his hand move in the darkness before it found his arm, Leo’s fingers closing tightly around his wrist. 

“Yeah, just peachy,” Raph mumbled, unable to hide his annoyance. Now that he knew they were both alive, there was room to feel angry about the situation. The damn Foot had shot them off the road!

“How hurt are you?” Leo was still sounding concerned.

“Neck hurts,” Raph said, still trying to find the button to get rid of his seat belt while Leo kept his hold on his other hand. “Otherwise I’m just sore. You?”

Leo drew his hand away from his wrist, like he hadn’t been able to let go until he heard Raph answer his question. Once he let go Raph could feel him lean back against his own seat with a small exhale. 

“Leo?”

“I’m fine,” Leo answered him shortly. Raph squinted at him in the dark, the seatbelt momentarily forgotten.

“Hey, I gave an honest answer, so ya better as well.”

“I’m not hurt,” Leo said, starting to sound irritated rather than concerned. Raph could relate. “Everything went wrong on this mission- yet we ended up with only some bruises after falling off the side of a mountain. We have some weird luck.”

Despite everything, Raph grinned at that. “Sounds like yer mad we  _ didn’t  _ get hurt.”

“No,” Leo said immediately, his voice a bit softer. “Believe me, I couldn’t be happier that we’re both in one piece. It’s just… maddening, how often things go wrong.”

“Turtle luck,” Raph shrugged. “Just gotta deal with it.” 

“Guess so. We need a way to get out of here. Do you have your shell cell?”

“Yeah.” Raph felt for his belt, fishing out his shell cell. Cold air was blowing in from the back of the broken vehicle, causing a shiver to pass through him. Leo was right; they had to get out of here. The winter weather had never been merciful to them. But with the Battle Shell so… totaled, they would need Don and Mikey to give them a ride back home. “What happened to yer phone?” 

“I think I dropped it into the back of the vehicle,” Leo said, “when you were making those crazy turns.”

Raph squinted. Was there accusation in Leo’s voice? Was he blaming  _ him  _ for the crash?

“Well I’m  _ sorry  _ for trying to fuckin’ save our shells,” Raph growled, holding the shell cell tightly in his fingers as anger lifted its head. “If ya think that it was easy to drive this thing-”

“Raph, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” Leo hurried to cut him off, his voice sounding sincere, yet Raph couldn’t help but glare at the dark. “I  _ know  _ it wasn’t easy to drive up there, I’m  _ amazed  _ you managed to drive at all with all the snow and ice. It wasn’t your fault; they shot us off that road.” 

“That  _ really  _ pisses me off. I’m gonna make ‘em pay good, next time,” Raph grumbled. Tensing up like that had made his muscles ache again, so Raph willed himself to relax. He already felt slightly stupid for getting riled up, but he really was pissed. And maybe it was because he felt like this was partly his fault.  _ He  _ had been the one holding the wheel, he hadn’t managed to make their getaway fast enough-

“Raph.” Leo touched his arm again. “Can you call Don?”

They both blinked when the light of the screen filled the small room. Once they got used to the brightness, they had a chance to look around. Snow had already coated the vehicle so that they couldn’t see anything outside. Leo’s side of the Battle Shell looked rough even from the inside; his door was bent, and part of the ceiling had almost caved in. But, miraculously, Leo seemed fine.

“Geez. Things coulda been really bad,” Raph said lowly, staring at the bent door on Leo’s side. The crumbled roof was almost touching Leo’s head. He was suddenly very,  _ very  _ grateful for their dumb turtle luck.

“Call him,” Leo said simply, guiding his attention pack to the screen of the phone. He called Don with a simple press of a button.

And called.

And called.

“It’s not connecting,” Raph mumbled after a long moment of waiting, ending the call and placing the cell back onto his belt. “There’s no signal.”

Leonardo didn’t answer, and for a while the only sound was the wind howling outside. Raphael shivered once more when more cold air was pushed inside the vehicle. They really had to get out of here.

Raphael tried to open the door on his side, but it didn’t even budge. He used his elbow next, hitting the door with it, but the result was the same. This time when he felt for his seat belt he found the button, releasing the belt and quickly pushing it aside. Raphael turned sideways in his seat, ready to kick at the door.

“What are you doing?” Leo asked when he felt the movement, and Raph felt annoyed again.

“What’d ya think? I’m gettin’ us outta here.”

“Wait-”

He kicked the door with enough force to jostle his whole body, causing pain to shoot up his spine into his neck and shoulders. With a cry he dropped his legs back down, shutting his eyes as his neck burned.

“Raph!” Leo’s voice was a bit higher than usual; he was concerned and surprised. “Raph, what-”

“It’s nothin’,” Raph said through gritted teeth. “Just my friggin’ neck, shit…”

He felt Leo shift in his seat.

“And you thought kicking the door would make it feel better?”

“No, but I think we need to get the hell outta here!”

“Lean towards me,” Leo said with a sigh. Raph opened his eyes again, considering disobeying just because he felt so pissed, but the pain was bad enough to make him do as he’d been told. Slowly he scooted closer in his seat.

“Turn your shell to me. Can you move your hands and legs alright? Wait, nevermind- you just kicked the door. I think you can.”

Raph clicked his tongue while moving into the position Leo had requested. It didn’t take much, since he had already been facing the door, his shell to Leo. “My neck’s just stiff, it was nothi-”

Leo’s hand landed on his shoulder, where the pain had been the worst. He tensed from the simple touch, almost biting his tongue. The sudden tensing only made his neck area ache more- he bit back a whimper just barely. When Leo moved his hand, feeling the area, a small grunt of pain did escape.

“What are you-”

Before he could finish the question, Leo’s thumb pressed through his coat against the hurting area, sending waves of pain down his back. Raph yelped in a mixture of pain and surprise, almost whirling around to punch Leo, but as suddenly as the pain had begun, it was fading. It didn’t leave completely, but now the pain was a numb reminder instead of a screaming presence. Feeling somewhat worn after the whole ordeal, he allowed Leo to help him turn in his seat, not protesting when Leo guided him into leaning against his seat.

“Let me guess,” Raph huffed once the pain subsided, unamused. “Pressure points.” 

Leo, the jerk. He could’ve warned him.

“Did that help?” Leo asked, moving back into his own seat. Raph only mumbled as an answer, and Leo took that as a yes.

“I’m as eager to get out of here as you are,” Leo said, pausing before continuing, “but let’s think first. If we manage to get a door open, we need to get ready to leave fast. It’s already getting cold, and with the door open, the wind’s gonna throw snow in.”

“What’s there to get ready for? I’ll open this door and we’ll bolt,” Raph said.

“-And then there’s the Foot,” Leo continued. “They might want to check if we’re still alive, but with this weather, it might be impossible for even them to get down there. But if not, can we fight them out there?”

“It’ll be even more difficult to fight them in here,” Raph pointed out. “If they find us, we can’t do shit. They’ll tear open a door, and we’ll be stuck in our seats while they’ll be free to stab or shoot us.”

Leonardo sighed again. “You’re right. We can’t stay, but… we’re pretty trapped.”

Leo knew Raph’s kick to the door had done nothing (despite causing pain to his neck.) The hit from the Foot and the crash had bent and crumpled the back of the vehicle just behind their seats, making them both lucky and unlucky. Lucky that they weren’t a crumbled mess, but unlucky that they couldn’t get to the back of the vehicle. Their only way out was to break the front window or get Raph’s door open, since Leo’s door was badly bent. The windows in the doors were too small for them to crawl through; their shells would get in the way. The window on Leo’s door had been broken, but the spot where the window had been was so crumbled that Leo couldn’t even stick a hand out. At least that way less cold air could get in.

Digging out one of his sai, Raph tried to pry the door on his side open. But once more his attempts turned out to be useless. Was there so much snow and ice around the door already that they prevented him from opening it? Or something else, the rocks on the bottom of the gulley?

Raph kept trying while feeling the cold creeping in. It had been warm in the Battle Shell when it had been running, but now too much cold air had gotten in through the broken parts of the vehicle. Fighting with the door kept him somewhat warm, or maybe it was just the anger surging through him. The cold wasn’t too much yet, but it was starting to numb down his fingers.

“Goddamnit,” Raphael cursed. “Fuckin’ winter. Fuckin’ Foot, fuckin’-”

“Raph.” Leonardo let out a long, quiet breath. Even without seeing it Leo knew it misted in the air in front of him, staying only for a moment before disappearing. “Let it be, for now; there has to be some other way out. Save your energy until we figure it out.”

With a huff Raph removed his sai from the door and sat down in his seat. 

“Doesn’t seem like yer figurin’ it out,” Raph snapped. “Were in a hurry, but ya just wanna sit still?”

“I’m thinking,” Leo muttered. “I think the Foot would’ve gotten here already if they bothered to check on us. What worries me more is all the snow and the wind- we’d freeze in m… moments if we go out there.”

There was a slight catch in Leo’s voice, and Raph’s attention was fully on his brother. 

“Ya sure yer okay?”

“It’s just the cold,” Leo mumbled. “It’s bad enough here. It’d be so much worse out there.”

As frustrating as it was, Leo was right. They had to get out, but things would just be worse out there. What a shitty situation. Raph lifted his fist and banged it against his door again, this time not trying to open it, just feeling like punching something. Following the Foot to the mountain area hadn’t sounded pleasant, but Raph honestly hadn’t expected things to get this bad. Stuck and freezing far outside the city, with no way to contact Mikey and Don. 

And what if some human was crazy enough to drive the icy road and noticed the broken railing? What if they called the cops and people came to investigate? Well, if the Foot hadn’t been able to get down here, maybe nobody else could do it either. They’d have to wait until the storm died down a little. How long would that be? How much time did they have?

“Do ya think Don’s got us tracked already? They know somethin’ went wrong.” They had been talking with Don and Mikey when the Foot had come after them. Their younger brothers had been operating from the bottom of the mountain, quite far from them. They had kept contact with them with the shell cells, but even on the road the signal had been bad at times. It was no wonder it didn’t work down here. “Do we really have to wait for him to figure out where we are?”

Leo frowned at the thought. Was that really their only choice? If even one of the trackers in their cell shells or the one installed in the Battle Shell was still working, Don could find them. But if there was no signal for Don to follow… 

Even if there was, the weather was still horrible. How would Don and Mikey get to them? If they couldn’t do anything besides wait, they would have a long wait ahead of them. And with the cold weather… they couldn’t wait that long.

As if responding to that thought his body shivered, and this time the slight movement made pain travel through his arm, reminding him that despite the bandaging going over the wound he had received before, it was probably still sluggishly bleeding. He hadn’t had the time to bandage it as properly as he should’ve. The suddenness of the sharp pain caused him to hiss through his teeth. 

“Knew it,” Raph huffed, already fishing for his shell cell again. “Knew ya weren’t tellin’ me everything-”

Just as light filled the room again, the wind outside howled loudly. It threw snow in from the back of the vehicle, through the cracks from where the back wall had been crushed. Raph didn’t hold back his curses when they were hit by the powdery snow. 

“Damnit!  _ Exactly  _ what we needed!” He lowered the shell cell down and punched the front window, unable to contain his frustration. The punch did nothing to the window, but made his fingers ache, making him hiss from the feeling. 

“Raph! Would you  _ stop  _ that?” Leo reached for his wrist, bringing his hand down and holding it there so Raph couldn’t punch anything again. “You’re just hurting yourself.”

“Whatever.” Raph tugged at his hand to get it out of Leo’s grip, but his big brother didn’t let him go. 

“It’s  _ not  _ whatever. Don’t punch things again, okay?” 

The shell cell was still down on the seat, but it casted enough light for Raph to see Leo’s serious face. Rolling his eyes, Raph huffed. “Fine. Just keep your cold fingers ta yourself.”

Leo let go, reaching for Raph’s shell cell instead. He picked it up to use the light to look around once more, but once he lifted it, it slipped from his fingers. Suddenly unbalanced, Leo leaned forward against the dashboard, confused about the sudden dizzy spell.

“What the-”

Raph was holding the shell cell Leo had dropped; the screen had bloody fingerprints on it. Raph turned the phone to shine the light on Leo, and saw that blood had soaked through his coat on his left arm. Blood had trickled all the way down to his fingers, slowly falling down onto the seat he was sitting on.

“Just one of the Foot ninja,” Leo mumbled, holding his head with his better hand. “Managed to nick me when we had that fight earlier.”

The fight that had resulted into the chase through the icy roads. Raph leaned forward, placed his fingers on the bloodied spot. Leo hissed from the contact, but didn’t pull away. Through the cut fabric he could see that Leo had bandaged the wound, but it had already completely bled through.

“So that’s what ya were doin’ in the back,” Raph mumbled. He had been too busy trying to drive them to safety to really ask about what Leo was doing. “Fuck. Why can’t ya just tell these things? This ain’t a nick.”

“I thought it was,” Leo said, sitting up straight again. “Honestly.”

“Right. Well, take off yer coat so that I can try to do somethin’ about it.”

Leo hesitated, but started to peel the coat off of himself. Halfway done he hesitated again, the cold much worse without the coat.

“‘s so damn cold,” Leo complained, but pulled the coat down, taking a look at his arm. 

Raph lifted a brow. “Huh, so it takes getting thrown off a cliff to make Fearless curse?”

“Add a stupid, bleeding arm to that,” Leo huffed, taking off his mask to use it to stop the bleeding. “And the freezing weather.”

“And the stupid turtle himself, too stubborn to tell he was injured. We could’ve stopped the bleeding a lot sooner.”

“I honestly didn’t think it was this bad,” Leo muttered. “All I feel is the cold. Especially now.”

Leo really sounded irritated as he worked on his wound. It was difficult with just one hand, so Raph took over, using his mask as well. The bleeding was in control for now, but their masks weren’t as good as… well, real bandages. 

“We got bandages right next to us.” Raph looked at the broken back of the Battle Shell. “Just can’t get to them. I might take it back- I ain’t so happy about our luck tonight.”

Leo didn’t answer, making Raph return his eyes – and the light – to him. Leo was leaning his head back, his eyes closed. He’d placed his better arm back inside the coat, but his other half was exposed to the cold air, and Leo wasn’t doing anything to fix that.

Raph gave his shoulder a push. “Hey. At least put yer damn coat back on before ya faint. I ain’t gonna dress ya.”

Leo blinked his eyes open, glancing down at his coat. Wincing, he started to put his injured arm back inside it.

“And, just so that ya know, ya don’t really have a permission ta faint,” Raph mumbled. “Got it?”

Leo chuckled at that; he didn’t feel as dizzy, so maybe the cold had cleared his head a bit. He was finally dressed again, but shivering more now. Taking off the coat had made him lose a lot of warmth, which he had already been lacking, and he was really starting to feel it now. He wasn’t as dizzy, but was starting to feel sluggish, heavy in a way. Might’ve been the bloodloss, might’ve been the cold.

“Is there… really no way to get out through the back?” Leo asked.

Raph shook his head. “Afraid not. It’s completely crushed; we’d need some heavy tools to get through.”

They fell silent. In the dim light they looked around again, but neither one of them could spot anything that would help them. The front window was made out of bulletproof glass; there was no way they could break it with what they had. The roof might’ve been weak enough, but the same dilemma remained; they were safer in here than out there.

As to remind them of that, the wind howled. Louder and louder, until dwindling again, the roaring turning into a quiet whistle. Leo blinked his eyes, starting to feel drowsy. He couldn’t stop the tremble in his fingers.

Out of the corner of his eye, Leo saw Raph shivering as well. The cold was starting to get to him as well. That made a sharp pain of realization shoot through the haze that was starting to settle over his mind- he’d known, the moment the chase had begun, that there weren’t many good outcomes to their night. But now it really sunk in how screwed they were. 

And it wasn’t just him in the trouble. Raph was right here with him, affected by the cold the same way he was. 

Unable to draw his swords from his back in the cramped space, Leonardo reached over and grabbed one of Raphael’s sai. His brother didn’t even notice, telling the leader how badly the freezing weather was already affecting him. Only when he positioned the weapon on the corner of his bent door, did Raphael turn his head to look at him.

Lifting his injured arm made Leonardo wince- and then hiss out of frustration. How could he try to pry the door open if he could use only one arm? He tried anyway, but nothing happened. The materials just didn’t give, bent out of shape, stuck the way they were.

Leo leaned his forehead against the cold door. They couldn’t rely on Don finding them, he had to get them out of here. They could make it back to where the Foot had operated, and steal one of their vehicles. They could do it- if only they could get out. But the vehicle that had saved them so many times was now a trap they couldn’t escape.

Raph was working on his door again, but was slowly giving up as well. Turning back to his brother, his weapon lowered, Raph asked, “What do we do, Leo?”

And Leo didn’t know. 

“Let’s… let’s wait another moment,” he ended up saying. “Let’s gather our strength and try again.” Besides, Don knew that something had happened, knew what the weather was like. He had to know he and Mikey had to hurry, so they could very well already be on their way here. 

But if they couldn’t find them or get to them? For a horrible moment Leo imagined the cold bettering them, for Don and Mikey to find nothing but the broken hull of the Battle Shell, and something worse inside- 

“Raph, can you come closer?” Leo asked, fighting to not show the emotions running through his mind and heart. 

“What, why?” Raph asked, but moved anyway. There was more room on Leo’s side, the seat wide enough for the two of them.

“For warmth,” Leo said simply. 

“Right, wanna hold my hand too?” Raph asked teasingly while he settled next to Leo, but by the way he pressed against Leo, the older of the two knew Raph was just as desperate for warmth as he was. Leo simply rolled his eyes at him.

“We’re lucky we’ve got some human DNA in us,” Leo said as he now sat side to side with Raph. It was slightly warmer this way, but not by much. But… it felt better like this. Raph was still warm against him, telling him he was still fine, that they still had time. Having him close eased some of the bad thoughts. “If we were completely coldblooded, we’d have no business being outside during the winter.”

“I wouldn’t mind staying away from all this damned snow and ice,” Raph mumbled, shifting next to him to make himself comfortable, careful to not touch Leo’s injured arm.

“Oh, you mean you could stay indoors the whole winter?” Leo asked with a small smirk. Suddenly he yelped- something cold had sneaked inside the collar of his coat, touching his bare neck. Immediately after the yelp Leo knew the cause, turning his head to glare at Raph.

“ _ You _ keep your cold fingers away, thank you,” he mumbled, batting Raph’s hand away while the other laughed. 

“Payback for not warning me before using pressure points.”

“Don’t complain, it helped.”

Silence fell over them once more. The wind danced around them, throwing in snow every now and then, making the turtles lean more against each other. Not wanting to drain the shell cell’s battery in case it was Don’s only lead to them, they shut the screen, sitting in the dark.

It was a bit eerie, the total darkness, the moaning of the wind. It was… crushing, unable to do nothing as the clock ticked. 

Leo felt dizzy again, starting to have some trouble keeping his eyes open.

“I screwed up tonight,” the leader said quietly. “Shouldn’t have sent us out here. It was too risky.”

“They needed to be stopped, we had ta come here,” Raph answered, his voice not much louder than Leo’s. “Ya didn’t screw up. Everything’s just always against us. Everything.”

“Mmh.” Leo kept his eyes closed as he leaned his head on Raph’s shoulder. “Always fighting something. Our enemies, the odds, even the weather…”

Raph hummed at that. “The weather is kickin’ our butts.”

“It’s unfortunate,” Leo mumbled tiredly.

“Unfortunate?” Raph asked with a weak chuckle. “That’s the word ya chose to use?”

“Yeah,” Leo said, too exhausted to think of anything else to say.

“It’s gonna be  _ unfortunate  _ when Don kills me. For wrecking the Battle Shell.”

“He won’t,” Leo said, “because you didn’t wreck it. The Foot and the Purple Dragons did.”

“Maybe we’ll see Don in real action the next time we fight ‘em,” Raph said, sounding thoughtful. “Wanting revenge on his baby. Well, in case I leave anythin’ for him. I wanna punch every weapon-smuggling Purple Asshole in the freaking city- what did they even hit us with? A damn bazooka?”

“Felt like it,” Leo agreed. “M… maybe we should get one of those.”

“You’d let me get one?” Raph asked, and Leo could just hear the grin in his voice.

“I’ll get you one myself,” Leo said, amused. “Though… we might need some rules as to… when and where it can be used.”

“Oh, you’re on. No... take backs; I’ll remember ya promised t-this.” Raph’s voice was starting to get affected by the cold as well, bringing Leo back to the situation at hand. It filled him with the sudden urge to just- just apologize for everything. Not just the situation they were in, but  _ everything. _ They didn’t fight nearly as much as they had when they were teengars, but they could still bicker over the stupidest of things. Raph had thought he had blamed him for driving the Battle Shell off the road, showing the small cracks that still existed in the way they interacted with each other. Here, battling the cold, unable to do anything than to keep close to his brother, Leo felt the intense need to try to fix it all. 

But… if he started apologizing, it’d be a clear sign to Raph that he was giving up; trying to make peace before… before what? Before succumbing to the cold? Leo realized that the both of them were shivering less, which certainly wasn’t a good sign. Raph had gone silent, leaning the side of his head against him.

“Raph, d-don’t sleep.”

“‘m not.” 

“Okay… good.”

More silence, before Raph spoke again, “I told Mikey I’d make you n’ Don take a n-night off if it snowed in the city. Promised we’d h-have a proper snowfight.”

Raph was simply trying to make conversation, trying to stay awake, Leo felt. But the words were a pained reminder of the way everything would break if they lost this battle. This battle where all they had to do was to keep their eyes open. Leo’s eyes were already closed.

“We can t-take the whole week off,” Leo promised quietly. “I think… think it would be nice.”

When he received no answer, Leo nodded off, startled back awake when the wind threw snow over their heads. Raph didn’t react to it, and once Leo realized that, he nudged him until he grumbled something unintelligible. 

“They’re o-on their way,” Leo told him. They had to be. Otherwise… “We’ll… we’ll be home soon, Raph.”

Some of the snow had gotten inside Leo’s coat, but he barely felt it. Still, the feeling of melting snow on his skin made him press himself closer against Raph, and that was where his body finally gave in to the cold, causing his thoughts to start to fade, his breathing starting to slow. In that moment it was all okay, it was okay that there were still things left unsaid; Raph was right next to him, he could tell him later. Later, they’d have that snowfight (after drinking something hot and sleeping in a warm bed) and later, Leo would help Don either repair the Battle Shell, or start building a brand new one. He knew Raph would be there too, and Mikey always had all kinds of ideas for the things Don built. Later, they’d do that. Later, it’d be nice.

The wind had quieted down, and it was silent now. Two hearts were still sluggishly beating inside the small space, huddled together, while it kept soundlessly snowing around them. In the dark ravine, hidden from sight, the broken vehicle kept being covered with a soft, cold blanket of heavy snow. 


	9. Nothing else mattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 13. Chemical Pneumonia, Oxygen Mask  
> No 14. Heat Exhaustion, Fire  
> No 15. Science gone wrong

The explosion was strong enough to slam the doors of the lab wide open.

Leonardo, having been in the middle of doing dishes, abandoned the task in a flash, his feet taking him towards the lab where thick, black smoke was already pushing out through the doors. As he got closer he lifted his hand in front of his mouth, knowing it wouldn’t do much to shield him from the smoke, but it barely mattered. Donatello was in there. 

“Donnie!” Leonardo called when he walked in through the doors, ducking down to avoid the worst of the smoke. His eyes widened when he saw the flames amongst the smoke. At least one-third of the lab had caught fire, and his brother was in there, maybe hurt, maybe lying in the middle of the hungry flames.

Michelangelo and Raphael were in the garage above the lair, and Leonardo didn’t know if they had heard the explosion. Still keeping his hand in front of his mouth he ran into the smoke. The heat from the flames greeted him immediately, the smoke made his eyes water. It was difficult to see, but he knew where the fire extinguisher was. Feeling the now blackened wall he found it, having to lower his hand from his mouth in order to grab it. He pointed it towards the flames, walking further into the room. 

“Donatello!” Leonardo yelled again, coughing as he inhaled some of the smoke. He had managed to put out some of the flames before the fire extinguisher was used up, but there was no sign of Donatello, and there was still fire raging in the back of the room. Items lay scattered on the floor, thrown around by the explosion, some of them still slowly burning. Leonardo continued towards the loudly crackling fire, his heart hammering against his chest. Even if the flames hadn’t reached his brother, the explosion itself could have hurt him badly. He needed to find him  _ right now, _ get him out of here, and then deal with the rest of the fire.

“ _ Leo! _ ”

The sound was muffled, but Leonardo was sure he had heard it. Hurrying up his steps he headed towards the sound.

“Do-”

He tried to call for his brother, but the smoke around him made him cough, the black smog burning his throat. Pushing through the feeling he walked right by the fire, feeling it heat up his skin. Leo was thankful that the lab had been built to be somewhat fireproof; the stone floor and walls prevented the flames from spreading further into the lair, but there were a lot of items and some furniture the flames were happily consuming. Leo felt a distant sadness for Don’s belongings, knowing that a lot of his work had been destroyed, but the feeling was distant for none of that mattered if his brother wasn’t alright.

His heart jumped up into his throat when he saw the prone form of his brother. Don lay on the floor under what had to be one of his shelves; he was tugging at his leg, trying to get it free from under it. The shelf itself wasn’t heavy, Don could’ve easily lifted it even in his prone form, but the items sitting on the shelf had fallen down as well, now weighing down the shelf on top of him. 

The shelf had caught fire, the flames already licking the spot where Don’s leg was stuck. His brow was furrowed in pain, either from the weight on top of him, or from the heat of the fire.

Leo dashed to him, kneeling next to him, starting to push away the heaviest of items. Their surface was already warm to the touch, not enough to burn him, but still uncomfortable to touch. The heat was intense this close to the flames, and Leo could feel sweat rolling down his skin as he struggled to free Don. Once the heaviest of the items were pushed aside Leo could try to lift the shelf, but it meant positioning his hands right next to the flames. Not hesitating, Leo did just so, grabbing the shelf and lifting. Upon feeling the weight being shifted Don immediately dragged himself forward, and once Don’s leg was no longer underneath the shelf, Leo dropped it back to the floor, quickly backing away from the heat.

Don had clearly been in the middle of some experiment before the explosion, because he was wearing some protective gear and a respirator going over his mouth and nostrils. Still Leo let his eyes run over him, seeing that the skin on his previously-trapped leg had been slightly burned, but he seemed fine otherwise. That made Leo feel relief; besides his leg, Don wasn’t hurt, and thanks to the respirator, he hadn’t breathed in the smoke. But his leg wasn’t only burnt, his ankle looked swollen too. Leo stepped next to him to help him up from the floor, draping his arm over his shoulders, urging Don to lean on him. Together they started to make their way back to the exit of the lab.

The heat was uncomfortable even as they moved away from it. The whole room felt hot now, and Leo was afraid that there would be a secondary explosion, so he hurried their steps, almost dragging Don forward. By holding onto Don he couldn’t hold his hand in front of his mouth, and it was starting to get difficult to breathe. Light-headedness creeped in, the smoke making him cough harshly. His vision was already blurry from all the smoke, but now there were black dots dancing in the corner of his vision. All this made Leo just walk faster, desperate to get out of the smoke-filled room.

“Leo, take this-”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Don touching the respirator on his face, his voice muffled behind it. He was clearly aiming to give it to him. Leo shook his head- they were close to the doors, stopping to swap the respirator would just cost them time. Just a few more steps and they’d make it out- 

Leo hit his leg on something, stumbling, almost losing his balance and sending both of them to the floor. Leo was coughing harshly now, only managing to draw in more of the black fumes in the air. Their roles had changed; despite his limp, Don was now dragging them forward. Leo hadn’t given his body the command to slow down, but he couldn’t see anything, he felt dizzy, his throat and lungs burned. He knew he had inhaled too much of the smoke, knew they had to get out- shouldn’t they be at the door by now? He was sure he had led them the right way. They had to be close. They...

Stumbling for the second time, a mixture of a cough and a groan left Leo’s mouth when he connected with the floor. Don hit the floor with him, but Leo couldn’t do anything but cough and gasp, trying to push himself up, but feeling so disoriented-

Strong arms appeared from the smoke, pulling Donatello away from him. A second pair of arms took hold of the edges of his shell and started to drag him out of the smoke. It didn’t take long; they had managed to get pretty close to the door. Once they were out of the lab the hold on him left. Everything was blurry, but he could hear the sound of a fire extinguisher. Someone had received another, and he could hear the sound of rushing water as well, but he could do nothing but to struggle to find air. He knew he was out of the smoke, so why was it so difficult? His chest heaved and his lungs worked, yet the black spots weren’t going anywhere. He was gasping rather than breathing, staring at the roof of the lair until the spots in his vision took over completely. 

* * *

The quiet hiss of a distantly familiar machine woke him up. Once consciousness returned, so did the pain in his throat and chest. Leonardo panicked, instantly back in that smoke, knowing he needed to get out, his hands shooting up to find Don-

“Leo!”

His hands were grabbed and held. Leo’s eyes snapped open, taking in the sight of Mikey, who was looking down at him with obvious worry. 

“Calm down, Leo, breathe!”

He couldn’t- there was something over his beak, his chest hurt too much. A strangled whimper left his mouth, he was getting dizzy again. Mikey was leaning forward, no longer holding his hands, but rubbing his shoulders, still telling him to calm down.

Leonardo tried to inhale, surprised when he could, when air flowed freely into his lungs. Blinking in confusion, Leonardo finally realized what the machine next to him was, what the thing placed over his beak was. As he calmed down he felt silly. Obviously his brothers had put the oxygen mask on him after his trip to the smoke-filled lab. He could blame his moment of panic on the dizziness he was still feeling. 

As he exhaled, he had to wince again. A small, painful cough followed. Why did it hurt to breathe? He wasn’t in the smoke anymore.

“Just take it easy,” Mikey told him softly, still squeezing his shoulders. “You-”

“Where’s Don?” Leo rasped, coughing again as talking irritated his throat. He looked around; they were in the sickbay, but Raph and Don were nowhere in sight.

“He’s been here the whole time you were out; he just left for the lab. He’s gonna be pissed he left just before you woke up!” Mikey chuckled lightly, but continued quickly when Leo looked back at him with wide eyes. “Oh, the lab is safe! We put the fire out. The ventilation of the lair is still a work in process… And Donnie is okay. He has a burn on his leg, and a sprained ankle. No scratch on him otherwise. You saved his shell, Leo.”

Leo took a moment to reflect on that, and exhaled in relief. Only to get another cough as a reward- he shut his eyes for a moment, lifting his hand to press it against his chest. 

“I’m gonna go get them,” Mikey said, his eyes worried again. “Would you like some water before I go?”

Leo nodded eagerly; water sounded heavenly. Mikey only had to reach over to the nearby table, and then he had a glass of cool water in his hands. Mikey removed the oxygen mask carefully. He had already been propped up on the bed, his shell resting against pillows, so it was easy for him to drink. The water felt amazing in his abused throat, yet swallowing it made him cough again, making his chest ache with every violent cough.

Mikey took the water from him so that he wouldn’t spill it while he tried to hack his lungs out. Once the glass had been placed away the youngest turned back to him, rubbing the side of his shell, trying to ease his discomfort.

“I’m definitely getting Don,” Mikey said once the coughs died down, easing the oxygen mask back over Leo’s beak. “Those coughs sound awful.”

“They  _ feel  _ awful,” Leo confirmed, grimacing when speaking only hurt. 

Mikey squeezed his shoulder one last time before standing up. “I’ll be right back!”

And Mikey wasn’t kidding; in less than a minute his three brothers were in the room. Don’s left leg had been thoroughly bandaged and he had a clear limp, so Raph walked with him so that the genius could lean on him.

“Leo,” Don greeted him breathlessly, a relieved yet worried smile on his lips. Raph helped him sit down next to Leo’s bed. “How are you feeling?”

Leo lifted his hand to make the OK gesture with two of his fingers, giving a small smile. Mikey snickered quietly at the gesture, for it was rare to see Leo make it. Don, however, lost his smile.

“You can’t speak?” Don asked carefully, eyeing him with concern.

“I can,” Leo said hoarsely, and as expected, coughed right after. Luckily no more coughs followed. “It just hurts.”

“Then don’t,” Don said, now looking guilty. Leo reached for his hand, which Don gave to him, and Leo squeezed his fingers lightly.

“You okay?” Leo pushed himself to ask, swallowing against the pain wallowing in his throat.

“I’m okay, thanks to you,” Don answered quietly, giving Leo a weak but thankful smile before lowering his eyes. “I made a stupid mistake, causing the explosion-” 

“Donnie, all that matters,” Leo tugged at Don’s hand to make him look back up, which Don did hesitantly, “is that you’re okay.”

After the words he had to turn his head away to cough, this time closing his eyes as the pain in his chest grew to almost intolerable heights. He had to press his head against the pillows and take a moment to focus on nothing but breathing, trying to steady it so that the pain would ease.

Once the coughs eased, he turned back to his family with tired eyes. All three of his brothers were looking at him with concern on their faces, and Leo concentrated on keeping his breathing even so that he wouldn’t break into another coughing fit, thus worrying them even more. He did want to ask about the lab, wanted to know how much damage the fire had done, but fearing the coughing that would follow speaking, he didn’t.

“I vote we don’t let Don near anything explosive for at least the next few months,” Raph said as he pulled a chair for himself and sat down near the bed.

“I’ll vote for that, too,” Mikey joined in. They both meant to lighten up the mood, but Don’s miserable eyes stayed on Leo. Feeling like their well-meaning brothers had added to Don’s guilt despite it not being their intention, Leo forced himself to speak again.

“I’m okay, Don, my chest just hurts.” Leo took a moment before continuing, then lifted his hand up towards the mask still on his face. “Breathing is easier already, I probably don’t need this anymore-”

Don’s hand grabbed his before he could even touch the mask, bringing it back down. Leo only blinked at his brother’s quick interruption.

“The mask is staying,” Don said, his voice firm, but it softened and turned sad as he continued. “The smoke you breathed contained toxic chemicals. I mean, it’s never a good thing to inhale any kind of smoke, but this was even worse- luckily the exposure was short, so I doubt any lasting damage was done to your lungs. But you will most likely be having shortness of breath for a while.” 

As he spoke he played idly with Leo’s fingers, since their hands were still touching. It was a clear sign of how anxious he was. 

“You will stay here for at least a few days, it’s important you don’t put any strain on yourself now. Not like you’re feeling like taking a run, I imagine.”

Don tried to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Leo answered his smile anyway, shaking his head. No, he did not feel like running. He could imagine how painful any exercise would be for his lungs right now. Few days in the sickbay made him want to groan, but he kept his face neutral, not wanting Don to feel guiltier than he already did

“A few days?” Mikey clasped his hands together. “You know what that means!”

Whenever one of them had to spend time in the sickbay, they had a habit of bringing the TV in there to pass the time. 

“Scary movie marathon?” Leo guessed, swallowing down the coughs that threatened to follow. Halloween would be only next week, but their scary-movie enthusiastic brother probably wouldn’t mind starting ahead of time. 

“You bet! I’ve already made a list of movies we should watch!”

Leo smiled at that. Apparently they’d have a long night ahead of them. Not like he minded, he’d be happy to watch the movies to pass the time. Besides, it wasn’t like he would be confined to the bed- he could get up and move around tomorrow, do some stretching, maybe some katas as well. Maybe Don would even let him have his swords- well, maybe not, but one could hope.

“C’mon, Raph,” Mikey jumped over to the red turtle, yanking at his arm, “come help me move the TV!”

“Only if ya make some of that popcorn with extra butter,” Raph said as he stood up. Mikey bounced towards the door, Raph following after him. 

“Who do you think I am?  _ Of course  _ there will be extra butter popcorn!” Mikey had already exited the room, but turned back to peek in one more time. “Anything you two want?”

Both Don and Leo shook their heads, content with the popcorn, for they knew Mikey would make more than enough of it. After their brothers left, Don stayed still in his chair, still holding onto Leo. 

“You really scared me,” Leo said weakly, watching Don with warm eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He coughed, shifting on the bed, but it did nothing to ease the tightness in his chest. 

Don was biting his lip, clearly wanting to say something, but seeming to struggle with himself. Leo waited patiently.

“You shouldn’t have… you know better than to run into a room full of smoke.” Don was frowning, looking down at their hands. “You should’ve gotten a mask, or waited until-”

“Do you really think I would’ve just left you there, having no idea if you were okay? Donnie...” 

Donnie’s hold on his hand tightened.

“Well, no, but… Because of a mistake I made, you… ugh. This is just like the time I almost broke your hands- you ended up suffering for my mistake.”

“Stop, Donnie,” Leo ordered, his voice firm but his eyes gentle. “This was an accident, just like the time with my hands. Everyone’s okay, and that’s what m… matters.”

God, he was in no condition to speak, having to fight to get the words out. Yet this was important, it was important to make Don realize this so that he wouldn’t have to deal with his guilt alone. It really did remind him of the time Don had hit him with his bō, it had happened a long time ago, and Leo could understand why Don was thinking about it now. 

“You’re not okay,” Don said with a small voice, carefully looking up into Leo’s eyes.

“I will be,” Leo said gently. “I promis-”

This time a harsh coughing fit interrupted him. He had to lean forward, and Don let go of his hand to place a hand over his shell instead, his other hand moving up to keep the oxygen mask over his beak. 

Once it was over, Leonardo leaned into the pillows, wishing he could just close his eyes and fall asleep to escape the pain even for a while.

When he looked at Don again, not only did his chest ache, but his heart as well. His brother had no place looking so guilty, so he opened his mouth again, but Don quickly shook his head.

“No, don’t,” Don said. “Don’t talk. I understand it was an accident, I do, but I still feel bad, and that won’t change.”

Don moved his chair so that he could lean against Leo’s shoulder. Leo lifted his arm, making room for his brother, wrapping that arm around his shell and pulling him close.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” Don continued quietly. Another memory swam into his head- when they’d been way younger, testing his new toy car in the sewers. He had fallen into the current trying to retrieve the car; that time Leo had saved him from the water, today from fire. “The fire was spreading pretty fast, and the shelf on me was already burning. I knew you guys must’ve heard the explosion, but… being right next to a rapidly spreading fire and unable to move is a bit scary, I guess.”

Leo could imagine how Don must’ve felt, to be trapped there, unable to do anything as the fire neared. He tightened his hold on Don, pulling him even closer, and Don wrapped his hands around him to lightly hug him.

“I’ll always come get you,” Leo promised in a hushed voice, slowly petting Don’s shell. It was the easiest thing he could promise; in retrospect, he might’ve acted stupidly dashing into the smoke like that. What if he had passed out in there before finding Don? He would have put himself in grave danger, and nobody would’ve gotten to Don before the flames would’ve spread- but he couldn’t help it. It was pure instinct to get to his brothers if he knew they were in trouble. Nothing else mattered than getting to them, making sure they were alright. 

Not wanting things to get too broody, Leo nudged his brother. 

“You sure you can handle the scary movies right now?” Leo teased with a light chuckle.

Don pinched his arm as a revenge for the teasing, giving him an amused look. “You sure you won’t fall asleep right before we start?” 

The last time they had sat huddled close like this they had both fallen asleep in front of the TV. “Hey, I was pretty well medicated back then,” Leo defended himself with a smile. 

“Excuses, excuses.”

Leo rolled his eyes, just when Mikey and Raph rolled the TV in. 

“Alright, dudes, prepare to be scared! I’ll just get the popcorn, and we’ll be good to go!”

Once again the youngest disappeared from the room, this time headed for the kitchen. Raph moved the chair he had been previously sitting in so that he could watch the TV, then glanced at Leo and Don.

“Ya two sure yer okay?”

They both glanced at each other as if to see if the other was alright, and ended up chuckling at that. Leo squeezed Don’s hand once more, trying to get it through that he really was fine, everything was fine.

Soon their attention was on the popcorn and the first movie of the night. With the TV loud enough to create the spooky atmosphere, Leo couldn’t even hear the sound the machine helping him breathe made, letting him momentarily forget about the mask still positioned over his beak. His chest still ached with every breath, but knowing how much worse things could’ve been, but weren’t, made it tolerable. 

The first movie turned out to be something they all just rolled their eyes at, but already the second movie had Mikey tense in his seat. By the end of it the youngest had moved himself closer to his brothers, and was currently half-draped over the side of Leo’s bed, claiming it was just more comfortable to lean on it. Don was still sitting close to him, their arms touching, and Raph sat next to Mikey, occasionally either teasing him or holding his hand on Mikey’s shell as a comfort. Smiling to himself Leo relaxed into the pillows, lowering the oxygen mask just enough to eat some of the (admittedly, very buttery) popcorn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this fluffy ending, yuck ;D I could've used the prompt "science gone wrong" as it was intended but oh well. Also, sorry Don, for making you feel guilty so many times through this challenge, it just happened :I Edit: the chapters still aren't related to each other, just wanted to make a mention to the second chapter here!  
> Next chapter will be the last part of "The Exit," and we are starting to run out of prompts, and the remaining ones aren't looking too good, so uh, just a warning... Anyway, thank you for reading!


	10. The Exit (part 3/3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got longer than it was supposed to despite me running out of time with these... also, don't blame me, blame the prompts xD If they don't sound great, maybe skip this one.

Nothing hurt. His wrists weren’t aching from the metal rubbing against them, there was no nauseating hunger filling his stomach. Had he, too, succumbed to his exhaustion? Was it over?

The thought was both relieving and startling- had he left Michelangelo behind? Had he left their baby brother alone in that forsaken cell? 

That fear was enough to make Raphael snap his eyes open. With wakefulness the aches of his body returned to him, momentarily stealing his breath. He felt heavy, sore, weak. Wanted to just close his eyes again and escape reality- but it didn’t really matter whether he was awake or asleep; even in his dreams, he was here in this cell. 

Raphael pushed himself to lift his head so that he could see Michelangelo, but before he could turn his head to him, he was forced to see Leonardo.

His brother was still prone on the floor, just left there. Raphael’s stomach turned, this was really real, not some fucked up dream, and once he’d turn his head he’d see Donatello, just as unmoving and still-

Leonardo shifted. No, he was  _ dead, _ the dead didn’t move- but Leonardo did. His shell was turned to him, so he could only see the way his hands moved. He could see a small item in his hands, so tightly clenched in Leonardo’s fist that he hadn’t seen it before. Not like he had even looked, too distraught by- by everything. 

It was a small butterfly knife. Leo was slowly turning it, trying to unlock the restraints around his wrists. They had seen his fingers bleed before, torn by something, small splinters stuck in his skin sometimes. But now, even in the dim light, Raph could see more dark liquid than before, lazily flowing down Leo’s fingers. He must’ve cut his hand while trying to free himself. Leo’s fingers moved slowly, stiffly; there was a dull, distant worry that the blood would make him lose his grip on the small weapon.

The realization that Leo was still alive, hadn’t left them to rot in here, crawled into his brain slowly. He was alive, moving, trying to free himself. At this point Raph didn’t even know what he was feeling- whatever it was, it hurt his chest, made his head dizzy. Was he relieved? No, there was nothing but the hurt in his heart, for Don was still so quiet next to him. Raph didn’t want to look, if he didn’t, he could pretend that Don was just- just resting, like before. But he knew how sick he had been-

The chains next to him clinked against the wall, making Raph’s heart jump. He moved his head, wary hope ignited in his heart, hope of seeing Don make even the smallest of movements, but it hadn’t been Don who had made the chains make noise. Mikey was the one who had moved, and their eyes met. The hope on Mikey’s face told Raph he had seen Leo move as well. But it only made his heart ache again- he didn’t want to see that hope get crushed, he  _ couldn’t  _ see it again. Yet... he found himself drawing in some of the hope he saw in his brother’s eyes. Leo wasn’t gone, and if he could get free, maybe he could still help Don- maybe he wasn’t gone, maybe,  _ maybe- _

With a small  _ clink  _ Leo’s restraints opened, both Raph and Mikey looking back at him. The metal around Leo’s wrists still remained on his skin, but the chain keeping his hands together was loose now, making his hands free. They watched in stunned silence as Leo took a moment before moving his hands, rolling over onto his shell. Shaking, their brother managed to push himself up into a sitting position. He rubbed his wrists, clearly trying to get the feeling back in them, and then started to remove the hood that had stolen his senses.

Once the hood was off, Leo spat out something that had been clearly used as a gag. It came with blood; it must’ve cut his mouth while he had struggled on the floor. 

There were raspy whispers, Mikey trying to speak, but his voice was gone. Leo heard it and turned his head to them, his eyes glassy. Still drugged, taking a moment just to stare at them before moving. At least he tried to- his balance failed him immediately, and he fell back onto the prison floor, mouth slightly open, taking in pained breaths. When he pushed himself up again, he had realized that his ankles were still chained. Leo leaned forward to reach the chains, slowly freeing his legs as well, still using the bloodied knife to open the locks of his restraints.

“Don,” Raph whispered, finally finding his voice. He hadn’t lost it the way Mikey had- he’d simply felt too much at once. Hope, despair, relief, fear, and was able to speak only now. “Leo… y...you gotta help him...”

Leo turned his head towards him again, then looked at Don, some focus returning into his eyes. Once more Leo got up from the floor, only to crumple back down- he was weak and in pain, hadn’t used his legs properly in a long time. Seeming to realize that he had to crawl like all the times before, Leo did just that, dragging himself towards Don.

When Leo neared him, Raph’s eyes were back on the knife. And suddenly he wasn’t sure if Leo was here to help Don- suddenly he knew what exactly the knife was for, and even though he should’ve felt relieved that it was all finally coming to an end, that Leo was really fulfilling his promise to get them out one way or the other, he felt a rush of protective anger. He’d been numb for so long that the sudden feeling overwhelmed him. He couldn’t let Leo do what he was about to, couldn’t let him do something so terrible to him, no, it was  _ Don, _ their  _ little brother, _ how could Leo even have suggested ending it like this? He’d never said it out loud properly, had just said he’d- that he’d do it  _ for  _ them. And here he was now, a knife in hand.

Leo had said he was the worst when he had asked them to keep holding on, but he was here now, finally going to free them. But this time Raph was the terrible and selfish one, for rather letting their suffering go on than letting go. He knew Leo was doing the right thing, finally putting an end to this, but it was still so hard to accept, no,  _ impossible  _ to accept, it couldn’t go like this, not like this,  _ not like this- _

“ _ Don’t hurt him, _ ” Raph managed to gasp, unsure if Don was even here anymore, but he simply couldn’t bear the thought of that knife touching him. “Pl… please, Leo, don’t…”

He didn’t even know what the alternative was. He wanted the suffering to end, but this was just too cruel. He was cruel for making this even harder for Leo. He wanted to look away and just finally let go and break down, but decided to be stubborn for the last time, keeping his eyes on his brothers.

Leo’s hand was already on Don’s neck, but his eyes flew over to Raph again. Devastated was the way Leo looked at him. They both knew there wasn’t anything worse he could’ve said to Leo than the accusation that he was going to hurt them, but it wasn’t like Leo could deny it. He had hurt them so much already, had hurt them by not being able to get them out sooner. But this time, tonight, he was here to put an end to that hurt. The hand touching Don’s neck wasn’t wielding the knife.

“I’m not going to,” Leo answered, managing to sound soft despite his hoarse voice, despite the fact that Raph had just begged him to not hurt Don. He’d been scared to place his hand on Don, afraid to find nothing- but his pulse was there, only barely, but it  _ was  _ there. Don’s breaths weren’t audible for they were so weak, and in the near darkness it had been difficult to see the slight rise and fall of his chest. No wonder his brothers had gotten so scared for him. No wonder they seemed so broken and given up. They had been in here with Don limp and unresponsive, with no knowledge if he was even alive. Leo had been here for just a moment, yet he’d felt sick with the fear of finding his brother’s pulse gone. Now he was simply weak with relief. So weak, actually, that he had to lean against the wall behind them, letting his forehead rest against Don’s shoulder for a moment. 

“He’s still here,” Leo mumbled to let Raph and Mikey know Don was still with them. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mikey slump against his restraints, while Raph let out a short, choked noise of relief. Knowing he had no time to waste Leo pulled away from Don, forced his body to obey, and moved over to Raph. Using the knife he started to work on his shackles. Raph could feel the wetness from Leo’s fingers, his blood. 

“How’d ya… how’d ya get that thing?” Raph asked weakly. It was something that didn’t matter at all at the moment, but it was all he managed to get out. Everything else was too heavy to talk about. 

“Snatched it from one of the men,” Leo said shortly, talking like he was slightly out of breath. What he held was one of those folding knives; had it been anything else, Leo probably wouldn’t have been able to keep it hidden from their captors.

Raph was still feeling heavy, not quite sure what would happen now. Was Leo getting them out of the cell? It would mean that he’d have to move and walk, and he wasn’t sure if he could do that. When was the last time he had stood on his own legs? They’d have to carry Don, too, and maybe he would have to carry Leo as well, for he wasn’t doing so good either-

His hands came free, and immediately Raph dropped forward. But Leo was still there, catching his fall… but unable to hold him up. They both went down, the chains rattling loudly as they were left to hang on the wall with nobody to hold prisoner.

Leo breathed heavily under him, not even bothering to try to lift him up, knowing he didn’t possess the strength to do so. Raph took a moment to collect himself, and rolled off of his brother. God it felt good to be free, to finally take the weight off of his hands- they felt numb, and Raph was content to just lie there. He felt Leo’s arm pressed against his, his brother seemingly gathering himself as well before even attempting to get up.

His head lolled to the side so that he could look at him. Leo was once again on the floor, but this time he could clearly see his eyes open, his chest moving. Leo was here, and so was Don, and it had all been too much for so long, Raph didn’t know how he was still holding it together, especially now. He felt vile for the thoughts he’d had, how sure he had been that Leo had left them here. 

“Sorry,” he choked out. He wanted to reach for his brother, but his body felt numb and unresponsive. “I thought… I thought you left us-”

His voice gave out under the weight of the emotion. Leo rolled onto his side, his hands suddenly on his face, hushing him, wiping away the tears he hadn’t allowed to appear, the tears he was too weak to stop. 

“I’m here, Raph, I’m here,” Leo told him, over and over again. “I’m going to free Mikey and Don, you can rest here while I do that. I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Raph nodded, and stayed there, too exhausted to feel shame for being so broken, for wasting time like this. When his eyes closed, he felt like he was sinking into the cold floor, finally swallowed by the darkness they were always left in.

_ “Raph, come on! Hurry up!” _

_ Mikey yanked on the tails of his mask playfully before running past him. Raph only made a half-hearted attempt at grabbing his shell, too focused on the night air flowing past his face. It had been a while since they had been out patrolling, and the chilly night air felt better than ever. _

_ “If I’d have to guess, I’d say that Mikey wants to race you,” Don commented with amusement, watching Raph with some curiosity. Raph was usually quick to respond to Mikey’s taunts, would usually already be running after the goofball. “What’s up?” _

_ “Nothin’,” Raph answered, his eyes on the city below them. “Just missed this.” _

_ “Me too. It’s been way too long.” _

_ “Guuuuys!” Mikey called from the nearby rooftop. “Did you forget how to jump during our time away?”  _

_ “Guess we have to catch up with him or he’s going to wake up the whole neighborhood with all that yelling,” Don chuckled before running to the edge of the roof and jumping to the next to join Mikey there. _

_ Leo stepped up next to Raph. _

_ “C’mon Raph, how about that race?” Leo asked with a smile.  _

_ “Only if ya won’t be mad if ya lose,” Raph said, turning to grin at his brother.  _

_ “Glad to see a smile on your face,” Leo said. “You’ve been such a grump the whole time we had to stay at the lair.” _

_ Leo’s joking tone was easy to answer. “Don’t even start, ya were losing it as well.”  _

_ “I guess we were all going a bit stir crazy,” Leo chuckled, then looked towards the darkened sky. “Being up here makes you feel so… free.” _

One moment, they had felt so invincible. Full of energy. Free to go where they wanted.

The next, hit by the darts, waking up in this hellhole- 

_ Tapping Leo’s shoulder, Raph broke out into a run. “Yer it!” _

_ “Raph!” _

_ The wind brushed against his face, made the tails of his mask flutter behind his head. Jumping over the alley below him was effortless. His brother was still yelling behind him, geez, so noisy tonight, kept on calling after him- _

_ “Raph! Come on, Raph, open your eyes-!” _

_ That- that wasn’t a part of this memory. That was- _

Leo’s voice dragged him back from the dark. Instead of the wind and the city around him he could feel the cold floor again, the way Leo was weakly shaking him. He had blacked out again. Groggily he opened his eyes, Leo’s blurry form staring down at him, tugging at his arm.

“Raph-”

“Yeah, yeah, heard ya the first time,” Raph mumbled, trying to hide how crushed he was to be back here.

“Raph…”

Only now Raph realized how shaky Leo’s voice was, and he blinked his eyes to get his vision to focus. Once it did, he saw the full scale of Leo’s worry, how worn out and tired to his soul he looked. Leo was holding his hand.

“You can’t...” Leo closed his mouth, just shook his head. His eyes seemed glassy again, and Raph remembered that he was still affected by the drugs. “You can’t give up now, alright, Raph? You just-  _ can’t- _ ”

This was familiar- Leo had begged Don to hold on like this before his sickness had gotten worse. Raph realized that Leo must’ve been trying to wake him up for a while; he must’ve thought he wouldn’t wake up. It was clear that Leo was near his breaking point, and if Raph didn’t do something, he’d crash right into it. And it was pretty clear that they needed Leo as clear-headed as he could be, so Raph pulled on the hand holding his, holding it tightly to gain Leo’s attention.

“I won’t,” Raph grunted. Taking a deep breath Raph forced himself to gather whatever strength remained in him, trying to push himself up with his other hand. “I won’t; I’m here, Leo. What’s the- the plan?”

Hearing him talking seemed to take the edge off of Leo's crushing worry. The eldest said nothing, just focused on helping him sit up. The room tilted, but as he waited and focused on breathing, everything came back to focus. He saw Mikey kneeling nearby, holding Don’s head in his lap, gently petting the side of his face. His eyes were on them, watching them with intense worry.

“Can you stand?” Leo asked. Urgency had replaced the broken tone. The emotions that had almost broken the dam just a moment ago had been repressed and pushed away; this was a familiar look on their leader. One Raph would usually hate, but now he had to count on it. This forced calm and control was what Raph trusted to lead them out of here.

“Dunno,” Raph said, honestly unsure, “think I’ll have to, though.”

How else would they get out? Would Leo just jump up and give him a biggy-back ride? Hah, he must’ve been losing it because he was able to make jokes. He was still feeling weak and light-headed; maybe he had a fever as well.

“You’ll have to,” Leo agreed quietly. Nodding, Raph focused, pushed himself up- and was rewarded with black spots filling his vision. He blinked them away and simply focused on staying up. He had lost some muscle during their capture, but not enough to make him unable to stand or walk. It was just the exhaustion and starvation, the misuse of his muscles that made this difficult.

Leo had stood up with him, offering him some balance. Raph held onto him when he took his first step. He swayed slightly, but managed to take another step, then another. Leo had let go of him; he was walking on his own. He could do this. 

“Raph, can you help us carry Don?” Leo asked, his tone careful. Wary. Raph knew Leo was counting on him to carry their brother; knew there was no other choice. So he nodded and walked towards their brothers. Kneeling next to them, Mikey immediately grabbed his arm.

“Raph, we’re getting out,” Mikey said, his voice still barely above a whisper, but at least he could talk again. There was a wavering smile on his face. “W-we’re gonna get out.”

“Yeah, lil’ bro, this bus is leavin’.” Raph looked at Don, his chest aching again. Just to bring himself some comfort, he took Don’s hand and squeezed it lightly. Kept his thumb over his pulse point. He’d been so scared for him- first thinking the sickness had taken him, then fearing the knife in Leo’s hand-

They were in a hurry, so he did what Leo had done; repressed the emotions. Letting go of his brother all too soon, he turned slightly. “Mikey, can ya help me get Donnie on my back?”

Mikey blinked. “You sure you can carry him like that?”

“I gotta,” Raph grunted. “Just help me.”

Nodding, Mikey stood up from the floor while supporting Don’s limp body. Carefully he moved him over Raph’s shell, and when Don weakly moaned, they both froze. It was a pained sound, tugging at their hearts, but it was also good to hear him. Even though it meant that their brother was in pain, it was still far better than the deathly silence.

Leo had dragged himself over to the door of the cell, and holding onto the bars, he held himself up. His shaky hands worked to pick the lock of the door; he was tense, clearly having some trouble with the lock. If he couldn’t get it open, it really was over. Don’s voiced pain had made him glance over his shoulder, had him staring at his brothers… but he forced himself to turn back to the lock.

The door moved with a small creak. Leo pushed it open and stepped out of the cell, almost losing his balance- but managed to stay on his feet. He looked back over his shoulder, a sign for his brothers to follow. With Mikey’s aid, Raph started to walk.

Don’s weight on his shell  _ definitely  _ didn’t make things easy. His legs had seemingly remembered how to walk again, but it didn’t mean that the unused muscles weren’t still weak. But with every step walking became easier, Mikey’s aid helping greatly. Even still, Raph knew they had to hurry. He didn’t know how long he could keep this up. His vision was blurring dangerously every now and then.

Stepping out of the room with the cell they came into a short corridor. The lights here were dim, their glow having been the only source of light in the cell. Raph had no idea where they were, what kind of a building they were in, where that building even was. How much security was there in here? How far from home were they, how were they going to get there? He had asked Leo about his plan, but hadn’t received any answer. Now he feared there wasn’t any.

Yet all he could do was to just follow Leo. He was the only one that had seen the outside of the cell. He’d have to trust him, having enough to do with just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. He didn’t dare to think about the fact that they were on their way out, for he feared that even a tiny bit of hope would ruin this. Everything had been so hopeless for so long. What would happen if they failed here? Would they be killed, or just brought back into the cell to suffer? Raph couldn’t bear the thought, so he went back to focusing on his feet. One step forward, then another. Every step would bring them closer to freedom.  _ No, don’t think about freedom, you’re just going to jinx it- just focus on walking. Just focus. Focus. Focus. _

Everything felt heavy, yet light, somehow. His unused muscles protested every movement, his exhaustion hindered every step, but even if he didn’t dare to hope of freedom for himself, he was determined to get his brothers out of here. He  _ had  _ to get them out. That would be good enough for him. God, that would be  _ more  _ than enough. Staying here wouldn’t be so bad if his brothers got out. But they wouldn’t be able to get out without him; both Mikey and Leo were too weak to carry Don. He had to be strong now. He had to make up for all this time he had spent being weak.

Leo stumbled, and Raph lifted his gaze to look at him. The eldest had managed to steady himself by grabbing the wall, leaving bloody fingerprints on it. He wasn’t continuing, was looking back over his shoulder. Raph could see that his eyes were wide, a hint of fear in them- but quickly Leo shook it away, taking a shaky breath, turning his face back forward. Raph wanted to ask him if he was alright, but didn’t. They didn’t talk, trying to be as silent as possible. Just following Leo without a question, trusting that he knew the way out. But with him stumbling like that, holding onto the wall while his whole body trembled, with that look in his eyes...

Raph didn’t want to doubt him, but it seemed that the drugs were affecting their leader even now. No wonder, for he had been heavily drugged the whole time they had been here. How could he know the way out? He was still somewhat delirious, was probably still seeing things that weren’t real.

Yet… nobody had come after them. No alarm had been set off. No guard was in sight. Despite everything, Leo seemed to know what he was doing.

Leo turned his head again, and their eyes met. Leo’s whole appearance radiated agony and exhaustion, yet he smiled at him encouragingly.  _ Not far now, _ his eyes said.  _ Just hold on. _

They kept going, and the next time Leo glanced back over his shoulder Raph’s vision was too blurry to see if Leo was smiling at him anymore. Maybe he wasn’t? Maybe he was starting to realize how weak they were, that there was no escape after all. Maybe he knew that Raph’s strength wouldn’t be enough. For he sure felt like it, feeling like his legs were growing heavier, like the floor was coming closer…

“Easy, Raph, easy,” Leo whispered to him, holding onto his arm. When had that happened? When had he stopped moving? He knew he was still standing up, knew he hadn’t dropped Don for he felt his weight on his shell. He took a moment to just breathe, and then they continued, this time Leo was walking right in front of him, his hand on his arm. Nothing was said again, Leo only tugged at his arm whenever they needed to make a turn. The way out felt endless, like they were walking in circles. Maybe they were. No, he wouldn’t doubt Leo, he-

Leo’s grip on him left. The eldest fell down almost without a sound, and Raph stopped immediately, but was unable to help him. Crouching down would surely mean losing his balance, would mean dropping Don.

Mikey left his side, leaving him alone with Don’s weight again. His legs shook, but he stayed still. Watched how Mikey kneeled next to Leo, whispered his name softly, but urgently. 

“Leo, come on. Let’s get up.” Mikey held onto Leo’s arm. “We must be close, right?”

He saw, almost felt the struggle Leo went through. His muscles spasmed, he gasped for breath. Suffered just from existing. Raph wanted to let him take a break, wanted all of them to take a break – but it probably wouldn’t be long until their absence would be noticed.

“‘m tired, Leo,” Raph said slowly, quietly. “Can’t do this for much longer.”

He saw the guilt hitting Leo, and felt his own share of it. Guilt had always worked against Leo, either breaking him further or making him work harder to better himself. And right now Raph needed him to keep fighting, even if the only way to make him do that was to guilt him.

But instead of pushing himself back up Leo’s struggles ceased, like the words had been the last straw, making him give up. Raph knew his own guilt should’ve spiked, but it didn’t come. If Leo gave up here, nothing would matter anymore. If Mikey was too weak to pull him up, they would stay here until their captors found them. If Leo couldn’t continue, they wouldn’t leave him behind. They’d stay. They’d die. Before, it had sounded like a relief- now it was a bitter thought, for they were so  _ close. _

Leo hadn’t stopped to struggle because he had given up- he had stopped to gather his strength, and now, with Mikey’s aid, he pushed himself up. Another wave of exhaustion washed over Raph, for this meant that he’d need to keep walking. It’d… it’d be so much easier to give up. To crash here and wait for he invediable.

There was a distant voice in the back of his head, raging and cursing at him for even thinking about giving up. Giving up wasn’t him, had never been him. Especially at a moment like this, when they were getting away, when they were almost there. Again, he should’ve felt something, should’ve felt ashamed, but it felt like there was nothing left of him. He’d been torn bare, but not broken. From the beginning he had refused to let them do that to them, to break them- but he couldn’t deny that this wasn’t far from that.

After the pause, it was hard to start walking again. It took Raph a moment, but he got his legs working. Mikey took his place on his side, helping him with Don’s weight.

Leo seemed to be pushing himself harder, for he walked more steadily now, leading them again. They didn’t walk for long before the corridor they were in split into two.

“The last corridors we have to go through have cameras. The camera room is that way,” Leo whispered, nodding to the right. “I’m going there, you keep walking. Next turn, go right, then right again. There’s a panel you have to go through, but you should be able to get Don through. I’ll catch up.”

Immediately a bad feeling jolted through Raph. Splitting up here, now? 

“I’m coming with you.” Mikey seemed to have had the same feeling, for he wasn’t ready to split up either. The youngest left Raph’s side to join Leo, but as soon as he did, Raph almost lost his balance, and he had to rush back to support him and Don again. Raph no longer had the strength to carry Don alone. Slowly Mikey turned to look back at Leo, realizing he would have to let Leo go alone.

“No.” Mikey shook his head. “No, we’re going together-” 

“I can’t make Raph walk any extra with Don’s weight,” Leo said tiredly. “And with all of us there, the risk of being seen is higher.”

Leonardo was staring at the corridor where he was supposed to leave, and when he continued, he returned his gaze to his brothers. “All of this will be for nothing if we don’t move now.” His tone was even, but worn. Not asking them for anything, simply stating a fact.

Raph stared at him. The bad feeling grew. It was a heavy weight in the bottom of his stomach, it was an instinct screaming at him to not let his brother walk away. But there was also the desperate need to get their younger brothers out of here, to walk them towards the way out.

And he knew that if he followed Leo, if he had to walk the extra, there was no guarantee that he could carry Don back out. And hadn’t he suffered enough? He was so limp against Raph’s shell, not having made any sound since Raph had picked him up.

“And if they see you? If you get into trouble?” Raph still asked, his eyes on Leo. He didn’t know why he was asking. Leo had to go anyway in order for them to get out. But he wanted to hear the things Leo usually said in these kinds of situations; that he’d be fine, that he’d be right behind them.

But they didn’t come. Leo gave him an even stare. The look he gave when he couldn’t make promises.

“It won’t take long. I’ll try to meet you outside.”

_ Try. _

“See ya there,” Raph said, like it was that easy, and turned away from his brother.

Mikey protested. Refused to move, and Raph could feel how he wanted to yell after Leo. At least he had the common sense to not raise his voice. Mikey almost let go again to go back to arguing with Leo, but Raph yanked him forward, finally getting them moving again. He wasn’t sure how he was able to drag Mikey while still holding Don’s weight, but right now there was nothing than going forward and taking his brothers with him.

_ All three of them. _ He’d get Mikey and Don out and come back for Leo if he had to. But he wouldn’t have to- the bad feeling he felt was the same he’d been carrying for so long, expecting everything to go wrong with their escape. He wouldn’t have to come back for his brother; Leo had gotten them this far. They’d been through so much, and Leo had always made it back home. Why would it be different now? It wouldn’t. 

So when he glanced over his shoulder to take one more look at his brother, when their eyes met for the briefest moment, he couldn’t explain the sorrow he felt in his soul.

* * *

Even in this drugged and exhausted state, Leonardo’s body knew how to be silent. He was a shadow; a weak and slow one, but still one with the dark, moving without a sound. 

The guard was seated in front of the screens showing all the camera activities. Leonardo had seen this room just once or twice, but had been able to memorize which corridors were monitored and which weren’t. It had been unfortunate that he had been forced to take his brothers the long way without the cameras, but walking past the monitored areas had been out of question. The fact that the building had so many blind spots told Leonardo that their captors weren’t that well suited for holding prisoners (or against intruders.) 

Leonardo was holding the chain still stuck on his wrist, preventing it from moving and making noise. He stopped just behind the seat, lifted his hands above the man’s head. The chain was pulled tight around the man’s throat, and Leo threw his weight back. He had no strength to strangle the man, allowing gravity to do the work for him. His body weight kept the struggling man against his seat, the chains so tight that barely any sound escaped as he slowly choked.

Once he stilled, Leonardo let go, slumping against the back of the chair. He wasn’t sure if he had killed the man or if he was just unconscious due to the lack of air, wasn’t sure just how much pressure had been pressed on his throat. Leonardo found himself not really caring. He didn’t kill if he had the choice, but after what these men did to his brothers-

He knew better than to let such vile darkness into his heart, yet found himself rather hoping the man was dead.

Leonardo walked around the chair, eyes on the many screens. On the far left, his brothers had just stepped into view. Leonardo lowered his eyes to the control panel. He didn’t really need to disable the cameras since he’d taken care of the guard, but he might as well, just in case. He’d seen Donatello do this so many times that he knew how to turn just the right cameras off.

During the short times he had seen these cameras, he had always paid attention to the interiors of the building in order to figure the way out. Now he could watch the ones showing the outside- surprised to see that they were still almost in the middle of New York. That would make their getaway so much easier. Once they’d get out, getting into the sewer wouldn’t be that difficult.

But the lair wasn’t exactly close either. They were all weak and would need some help. Taking his eyes away from the screens he looked for a phone, and found the guard’s lying on the floor. He must’ve dropped it during the attack. Leo bent down to pick it up, wincing softly when he got back up. His body was really trying to betray him, threatening to send him crashing down to the floor like so many times already. He leaned against the table when he pressed the buttons of the phone. He remembered April’s number clearly, and she answered during the second ring.

“ _ Hello? _ ”

She sounded tired, didn’t answer using her name like she usually did.

“April,” Leo exhaled, taking a moment just to- just to take in the fact that he was able to hear her voice.

There was a shocked silence on the other side of the line. Words mixed with confusion, relief and worry followed.

“ _ Leo? Oh, god, Leo- what- what happened, where have you guys been? Are you alright?! _ ”

Street names were suddenly escaping his mind. Leo shut his eyes, chasing after them, but they just kept evading him. The outside of the building was so familiar, he knew where it was, but couldn’t remember the street.

“The new casino- not far from it. On the eastern side,” Leo answered, pushing past the emotions he felt, knowing there was no time to waste. “I’m sorry I have to ask you to do this, to put you and Casey in danger, but I… I don’t know how else we’re going to...” 

Asking for help had always been difficult. Leo was so used to getting by on their own, of the fact that four mutant turtles really didn’t have many places where they could ask for help. Of course this wouldn’t be the first time their human friends helped them, but there was the sudden fear that if, for some reason, their friends couldn’t help them, he’d be out of options. 

It also made him that much more aware that having to ask for their help meant he couldn’t do anything more. He had given his all, and if this wasn’t enough...

“The guys aren’t doing too good. April, I know we’ve… we’ve always asked so much of you, but-”

Why was he talking like he was trying to convince April to help them, like he was expecting her answer to be no? He was just waiting for that one thing to go wrong, for that one thing that would screw everything up. The nagging feeling in the back of his head that he had forgotten or overlooked something was persistent, whispered to him that this might be the thing. That even if he got his brothers out, there was no way to get them home-

“ _ Leo. _ ” April didn’t sound as panicked as when she’d first spoken- if anything, she sounded firm. “ _ You could never ask too much of me. Casey was here with me- he heard everything, he’s already on his way with his bike, and I’m leaving now as well. _ ”

Leo closed his eyes, ran a shaky hand over his face. They’d get out, they’d get rescued.

It would be over. 

_ It would be over. _

“Thank you, April,” Leo whispered, doing his best to not let the emotions spill over. “I don’t know what we’d-”

Something in the room crackled to life. A buzzing sound, followed by a man’s voice.

“ _ I’ll be there in a minute. I hope you got the goods, this time. _ ”

Whirling around Leo realized that the guard still unconscious (or dead) in his seat had a two-way radio in the front pocket of his coat. Glancing back at the screens, he could see a man in one of the corridors, nearing the room Leo was currently in. This wasn’t part of the shifts, at least as far as he knew. But it had sounded like this was about some personal business between the two men, a meeting that didn’t have anything to do with their jobs.

Shifting his eyes once more he looked at the camera he had deliberately left on. All the other cameras his brothers would appear on had been turned off, but this was the last one that should catch sight of them, the one where the hatch he’d told them about was. He’d left it on so he could see if his brothers had reached it- and they had. He could see only Mikey and Raph, meaning they had already gotten Don through. Mikey was getting in, too, even though hesitant. Raph was standing still, clearly waiting for something. 

Waiting for him.

Leo wanted to scream at him both to get moving and to wait for him. But the man nearing the room was blocking his path- the corridors had nothing where he could hide in, and neither did the room he was in. He was trapped, unless he wanted to go back the way they had come, back towards the cell, back towards the room with the crate-

He grabbed the edge of the table, the simple thought of that prison making his heart hammer, his breathing shallower. He was trapped again. Without realizing, he had lowered the phone, could hear April’s voice distantly calling for him. Could hear the man through the radio, calling for his colleague, expecting an answer from him. Trying to collect himself Leo lifted his gaze back up to see how close the man was now. He couldn’t let the panic lingering from the drugs take over, he’d have to think of a plan, surely he could hide somewhere-

The man had a gun in his hand and was walking with purpose now. He knew something was wrong.

Leo lifted the phone again.

“ _ -re you there? Leo? Leo? _ ”

“April… listen.” He shouldn’t have split up from them. Should’ve just stayed together. No- no, this was better. To have them out. He’d promised it- one way or the other, he’d get them out. He truly hadn’t expected it to go this way, but maybe he should’ve. Maybe he should’ve, the moment he decided to split up. “No matter what my brothers say or try to do, you- you have to get them out of here. Nothing else matters. I’ll- I’ll try to follow but if I can’t- please, please take them home, make sure they’re a-alright-”

He wasn’t giving in or giving up, but he felt so weak all of a sudden, unable to stand without leaning against the table. The man was so close now, and he couldn’t withstand the idea of getting captured again, of the possibility of being taken back to the crate, of going through all of that again and again and again-

If the man wouldn’t use the gun on him, he still had the butterfly knife. He couldn’t see his brothers on the camera anymore; either they were out or had decided to go against his orders and come back for him.

He wished they’d still be on the camera. Wished he’d actually see them take the step out so that he could have the knowledge that they had reached the exit. So that he could have peace instead of the grief swelling in his chest. All he had now was uncertainty. Only one thing was clear.

Leo faced the door, had the knife out now, clenched it in his hand. One way or the other, he would be leaving tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the last. It will be unrelated to the plot of this story, but if this chapter left you wanting an alternative ending, the next chapter can be viewed as one!


	11. Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts used for this chapter:  
> No 11. Defiance, Struggling  
> No 29. Reluctant Bedrest  
> No 30. Ignoring an Injury
> 
> The last chapter! As I previously said, this one isn’t plot-related to the last chapter, I just thought about ending the challenge on a bit of a softer note. Whump is nice, but so is the comfort that (sometimes) follows. :) If you’re still reading, thank you for sticking around! And to everyone who left a review, thank you so much, they’re what keep me posting even when I doubt my writing!

Leonardo leaned against the edge of the kitchen sink, trying to catch his breath. It had been a painful trouble to remove the needles stuck in his arms and climb up from the bed he had woken up in. Just reaching the kitchen had taken almost everything out of him, and even simply standing still was quickly taking the rest. 

His hand trembled when he lifted it towards the faucet. He managed to get the water running, but knew he couldn’t reach the cupboard above him to get himself a glass, so shakily he leaned down to drink straight from the faucet. Bending forward like that made his midsection ache, but the relief of tasting the water made it tolerable. He drank desperately, like he was afraid the flow of water would stop at any moment. He pulled away only to breathe, and his stomach churned at the amount of liquid he had forced down so quickly. Too quickly, he knew, but his mind demanded him to drink more before the water would be out of his reach again. He moved to do just so, but couldn’t. Sudden nausea washed over him, his legs shook too badly to hold him up anymore. 

He slid down onto his knees, but managed to reach the trash bin, which was luckily just under the sink. Ungraciously he threw up the water he had just managed to down. There wasn’t anything but water and stomach acid, and it burned both his stomach and throat as it came up, stealing him the brief relief he’d just had.

He wheezed for air as his stomach cramped, the heaving motion having worsened the pain he had already felt in his stomach. He swallowed against the ever-present nausea, not wanting to throw up again. He had just wanted some water, but now even the thought of it made him dizzy, wary of the pain that would follow if he even attempted to drink. He wouldn’t be able to keep it down, but he was so thirsty. He had to get back up. 

He hadn’t realized he had left the water running until he could hear the flow abruptly stop. Desperation hit him first- he had finally found water, and now it was gone again. Where would he find it now? Where was he? He struggled to remember if he had even reached the lair- he had known he was close, but was he there? He had woken up in a bed, hadn’t he? 

He also hadn’t realized that he was heavily leaning onto his side. He wasn’t holding onto anything, anymore. He should’ve fallen down, but something was pressed against his shell, keeping him from hitting the floor. Someone was holding him up.

The touch made panic flood his mind. The knowledge that he had just dragged himself through the lair to the familiar kitchen was a lost memory. The presence next to him was an enemy; he was back there, back in their hands.

Survival instinct kicked in, made adrenaline rush through him. It defeated his exhaustion, made him push himself up into a crouch. He kicked the person whose hands were still on him, his leg connecting with a part of them, causing the hold on him to disappear. Straining his body like that made everything ache again- _god_ did the sudden movement hurt. Biting back a wince Leonardo grabbed the edge of the sink again, using it to pull himself up.

“Leo, calm down!”

Michelangelo was suddenly right there in front of him, holding his shoulders, his eyes wide and worried. Leonardo had to blink at him, the sight of his little brother effectively distinguishing his instinct to run. But the instinct to fight wasn’t gone so easily- Leonardo glanced around wildly, needing to know where the enemy was so that he could protect himself and his brother.

“Hey, hey, chill! You’re safe, Leo!”

Leonardo tore himself away from Michelangelo’s hold. He stumbled back, hitting his shell on the sink behind him. The kitchen spun around him, and his legs gave out for the second time. He was caught, prevented from falling, but immediately fighting the hands around him. He kicked out again when Michelangelo, still in front of him, tried to get closer. Only after his leg fell back down did he realize that it was still his brother, and he didn’t try to kick again. He hadn’t hit Michelangelo, but felt dull shame for even attempting it.

There were still hands around him, but Leonardo didn’t fight them. Michelangelo wouldn’t just stand there if someone was trying to hurt him, and he recognized the presence behind him, now. He stilled in the hold he was in, panting from both the effort he’d just seen and the pain he still felt around his stomach area. Only now he felt the bandages going around his midsection, numbly staring down at the edge of the white linen surrounding him.

“Finally remembered where ya are?” Raphael asked from behind him, still holding him. Leonardo closed his eyes, nodding. He was home. He’d made it. A while ago, apparently, for they had already bandaged him up and put him in bed. He’d just been so dizzy and lost when he’d woken up. The needles in his arms had been so similar to the ones attached in him _there-_ he’d gotten confused, driven by the need to get away and escape. Maybe the familiarity of the lair he had walked through had eased that anxiety, for the next thing he remembered was just the intense need to get some water. He must’ve been dehydrated for a while.

Leonardo leaned into the hold he was in. There was a cold numbness settling over his body, and it was hard to stay up. He was going to faint, but it was alright now, wasn’t it? He was home. 

“-first kicks me, then tries to faint on me- damnit, Leo, just hold on-”

He couldn’t let go just yet, had to take a look at his brothers first. Michelangelo had seemed fine, kind of surprised by the whole situation, but he seemed well. Just bruised and somewhat shaken-looking – like he hadn’t slept in a while. Leonardo pushed himself to lift his head, seeing the side of Raphael’s face. He saw the concern, the dark circles under his eyes. 

“‘s alright,” Leo slurred, wanting the worry off of his brother’s faces. Raph was still holding him up, but he felt Mikey grab his other arm, and together they helped him sit down into one of the kitchen chairs. It felt good to properly sit down, especially after the small fight he had put up, but sitting down would mean admitting it, _he,_ wasn’t alright. He had walked into the kitchen, that meant he could walk back. Not like he was going to- the bed did sound tempting, but he didn’t want to sleep, didn’t want to wake up dizzy and confused again. Wanted to know what was going on, what had happened.

But the kitchen spun, and he couldn’t get the words, the questions, out.

“Should we, um, try to make him drink something? He threw up everything before, so just a little this time?” 

“Yeah, let’s try that.”

They were talking like he wasn’t here. And… maybe he wasn’t, not quite, for he blinked in surprise when a glass of water suddenly appeared in front of him. His hand twitched, he wanted it, remembered how thirsty he was- but his stomach still hurt so badly. But the need to drink won, and he forced his shaky hand up. 

“Just sit back and I’ll help,” Mikey told him softly. 

“What were ya even thinkin’, dragging yerself in here?” Raph mumbled, sounding irritated, but his words betrayed his worry. “We were gone for what, five minutes, and you do this… Ya better not have hurt yerself getting in here.”

Leo could feel Raph eyeing his bandages, but perhaps they seemed fine, for his brother was just glaring.

“I think it’s good to see you up and moving, Leo,” Mikey said, sounding somewhat relieved. “...In case you didn’t hurt yourself moving. If you did, I agree with Raph- what were you thinking?”

Taking a small sip of the water – he wasn’t offered more, at the moment – Leo thought back to the moment he had woken up, and shrugged.

“Was just thirsty,” he answered sheepishly. Then winced when the water traveling down into his stomach made his insides ache again- couldn’t he keep _anything_ down? He placed a hand over his stomach and shut his eyes tightly, willing the nausea to go away.

“-that’s it, taking ya back to bed and getting Don-”

“-you take his right arm, I’ll take his left-”

Again talking like he couldn’t hear them. When one of them tried to grab his arm, he pulled it back.

“No- want to stay up,” Leo managed to mumble a protest. 

“You’re hurt, Leo, you need rest,” Mikey told him, this time managing to take hold of his arm. “You don’t need to sleep, you just need to lie down, okay?”

“Wh- what happened?” Leo asked, forcing his eyes back open. 

“How much do ya remember?” Raph asked, and then they lifted him up from the chair. Leo winced, and his brothers immediately stilled, giving him a moment to collect himself before moving. He tried to work his legs, to walk on his own… but his brothers ended up half-carrying him.

“I remember trying to get to the lair,” Leo said, frowning as he concentrated. He remembered escaping, being hurt, struggling to find the right route. “I… I don’t think I made it, right?”

“We found you in the sewers,” Mikey told him quietly. Leo took a moment to think about that; what a happy find that must’ve been, probably discovering him unconscious and bleeding. “You don’t remember how you got there?”

Leo stumbled when taking the next step, groaned softly from the sore pain. He was held firmly, so he didn’t fall, but his body was letting him know it had been a bad idea to jump out of bed. 

Ignoring the pain, Leo focused on his thoughts instead. It was all so blurry, a haze- he remembered the pain and the desperate need to get out, the shouts following him, the chilly spring air when he finally made it out. He had jumped down the first manhole he had found, remembered wandering through them for some time, still trying to get away from the people chasing him… and after that it was all blank.

“I got lucky,” Leo said slowly. “Managed to get out. Don’t remember what I did, exact-”

They had reached the stairs and were taking the first step, when lifting his leg made something burn underneath the bandages. The pain was so sharp and bright that it took him right back there- he was being held down, something was digging into his stomach, a pain so terrible he couldn’t even cry out, drowning in the agony-

He clawed his way out of his brother’s hold. He backed away, colliding his shell with the nearby wall, half-mad with the pain still radiating from his stomach. He saw his brothers, but their presence or the shock on their faces didn’t register. Nothing did. All that mattered was getting away from the pain, from the tools digging into his stomach-

They neared him, tried to grab him so that they could strap him down again. He wouldn’t let them, so ignoring the pain, Leo dodged the hands reaching for him. Pain was what he got for his efforts, but he couldn’t care, couldn’t let it slow him down.

He fled, stepping into another room, everything so familiar in there. Was it familiar because it was safe, or because he had just gotten used to seeing it so much? Everything in that brightly lit room had become familiar. The people around him, the tools they used on him, the white walls and white furniture-

This room wasn’t white, but the pain made it difficult for him to take in the fact. He remembered his first relief being the air he had felt outside, but there was no wind here. He was still indoors, didn’t know how to get out.

Before he could decide his next course of action, he was grabbed again. This time they held his arms against his sides and pulled him close, so that he couldn’t kick them. He cried out from both frustration and pain- when held like this, his arms pressed uncomfortably against his tender sides. His struggling didn’t ease the pain, but he couldn’t just give in-

“Raph, you’re pressing against his wound-”

“Shit-”

The hold on him loosened, but another pair of hands were immediately on him. He was caught, getting overwhelmed by the fact that he couldn’t fight them, could barely stay on his feet. Yet he could hear his brothers speaking, felt them close- they were the ones holding him. Why? Didn’t they realize that they had to get away?

“L-let go,” Leo gasped, leaning away from the hold he was in. “We need to go-”

“Leo, we don’t need to go anywhere! We’re home, _you’re_ home!”

That… was probably true, now that he stopped for a moment to consider it. He saw their living room around him, but it simply wouldn’t sink in. He’d fought through so much pain to get here- it wouldn’t sink in that he was here now. Besides, despite all the familiarity, something was still missing.

“Where’s Don?” Leo asked. It had bothered him for a while now- he’d seen both Raph and Mikey, but not Don.

“He’s resting,” Mikey told him. “He’s been working pretty hard to locate you, so after making sure you were stabile, we forced him to go to bed.”

“If ya wanna see him, we can go ta him,” Raph said.

Numbly, Leo nodded. Having the simple task of going to the fourth brother eased the confusion and panic he had been spiraling into. He wasn’t being taken anywhere, nobody was holding him against his will; _he_ was going to Don. He was free and he could do that. He wasn’t _there_ anymore.

With a calmer state of mind came the realization of how he’d acted. Would it happen again? Would he lose sense of where he was and lash out at his brothers? Maybe he was just messed up from the painkillers he was pretty sure he’d been given, nothing else. (Though, if he’d been given something for the pain, it wasn’t really doing its job, everything still aching. But that was just his fault for wandering around the lair.) 

His brothers took him to the stairs again. There wasn’t any less pain this time, but Leo didn’t let his mind go anywhere. He stayed there, in the stairs of the lair, guided by his brothers.

The room they took Leo in had no Don there, but at that point the pain was so bad that Leo didn’t complain when they took him straight to the bed. Sitting down eased his suffering greatly, but he was still gritting his teeth, definitely feeling the nausea again. 

“What’s with all the noise- Leo?”

As if knowing he’d been missed, Don appeared on the doorway. He was surprised to see Leo sitting on the bed, and before Leo could even blink he had crossed the room and was hovering next to him.

“What are you doing up? Is something wrong- are you in pain? Lie down-”

A hand on his shoulder, pushing him down. _That_ made it all happen again, wiped away every sensible thought as he grabbed his brother’s arms tightly, refusing to go down. He didn’t want to lie down, didn’t want to make it so easy to strap him down again-

“No, no, let me stay up-” He felt breathless saying it. Tensing up had made the pain spike up, and he held onto his brother a bit too tightly.

“Sitting up puts pressure on your wound, you shouldn’t have gotten up at all!” Don scolded without any heat, giving their brothers a quick glance. 

“We were gone for just a few minutes, we didn’t know he would get up and walk through the lair just to get some water from the kitchen! I mean, even the bathroom was closer-” Mikey defended Raph and himself, only to gain a half-hearted smack from the turtle in red. “Ow! What was- oh.”

From the wide eyes of their genius brother Mikey realized that he should’ve probably left out the part where Leo took a stroll to the kitchen. None of them had slept properly while Leo had been gone, but Don had truly been overworking himself. He was still exhausted, and tended to get a bit overdramatic and cranky when sleep deprived. Not like Leo’s condition was to be downplayed- he’d been in _really_ bad shape when they’d found him. Mikey didn’t even want to think about it, about all the blood, the cold skin of their brother-

“The… kitchen? Leo _walked_ into the kitchen?” Don asked slowly, turning back to look at Leo. There was no accusation in his eyes, just disbelief. Without another word Don pressed on his shoulder again, and Leo acted out of pure instinct. He was still holding onto Don’s arms, but now his hands slid over to the back of his shell, clinging to him desperately in order to not get pushed down. He felt childish, showing such stubbornness and weakness- but he couldn’t take the vulnerability of lying down on his shell. He’d rather take this, the shame of clinging onto his brother over the helpless feeling. 

“Don’t- don’t make me…” He felt pathetic pleading over something so trivial, but it wasn’t trivial to _him._ It was so much better like this. His other leg was still hanging off of the bed, making it easier for him to bounce up if needed. It gave him the feeling of having some control, and having his brother between his arms gave him the comfort of him simply being there. It hurt his stomach to keep himself pressed up against him, but this way no one could touch his plastron or stick anything into his stomach- he knew it was a stupid fear to have right now, knew he was safe here, but it wasn’t something he could help. Not yet… he knew he’d have to get over it, but right now the memory of that place was still too clear, the pain was still too strong. It was a constant throb in his stomach, but he’d take it, he’d take it if it meant being able to hold his brother close. For now he just wanted this comfort of having all three of his brothers here. 

But despite trying to convince himself that he could take the pain, he was starting to feel weak. His grip on his brother’s shell was slipping, and he fixed it desperately, not wanting to let go.

He felt Don’s hands on his shell, hesitant, his brother clearly trying to decide what to do. Mikey had made room for himself on the other side of the bed, sitting on its edge, and Leo watched him out of the corner of his eye. Only when Mikey moved the pillows behind them did Leo take note of just how many of them there were.

“You could lean back and lean on these; you wouldn’t have to lie down, but it’d take the weight off of your stomach, right?” Mikey looked at Don for approval. Leo couldn’t see his face, but heard- and felt- the sigh that left him.

“That should be alright. Do you want to do that, Leo?”

Don gave him a chance to hold on for a moment longer, but from his tone Leo could tell that his brother wanted him to lie back. Leo knew it was simply out of concern for him, but it was difficult to pull away. He did so slowly, unable to help the hiss escaping through his gritted teeth when he moved. His hand automatically moved over his stomach, but quickly shot out to his side in an attempt to catch himself when he felt himself falling backwards- the pillows were there to prevent him from falling flat onto his shell, but this was still too close to lying down. 

Before he could attempt to push himself back up, Mikey was suddenly glued to him, wrapping his arms around the upper part of his torso, carefully avoiding the bandaged area. By the slight shake of his shoulder Leo realized that his brother was close to tears, and that realization made him forget about his own discomfort. Leo wrapped one arm around his brother, holding him close. 

“Mikey, it’s alright,” Leo told him quietly, drawing small circles on his shell with his hand. Mikey only held him tighter. He turned to look back at his other two brothers, and in their eyes he saw the emotions they, too, had been holding back until now.

“I- I need to check that you didn’t pull any of your stitches,” Don mumbled despite the glistening in his eyes, reaching for the bandages. Leo’s other hand shot up to grab his wrist- when Don gave him a confused look, Leo changed his hold so that he was simply holding Don’s hand.

“In a moment, okay?” Leo asked, knowing he wouldn’t react well if Don touched the bandages. By the heavy feeling behind his eyes, he suspected he wouldn’t stay conscious for long. He wouldn’t let him check on him when he was awake, but he knew that if Don really was worried about whatever was under the bandages, he’d do so after he was asleep.

Besides, now that he was lying down, the pain had faded into something more tolerable. Instead of feeling scared and confused, he felt comfortable. Raph had moved to sit on the bed as well, he had all three of them here. It was like something clicked in his head then- he really was home and it was over.

With them here, he could rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leo can literally rest because whumptober is over, lol. This whole thing got to around 50k words, over half of the length of Turning the blade, and I’ve been working on that for a long time- this story was written in about a month (I started a little after the prompts were revealed!) With my writing speed, I don’t know how I managed this. Maybe that’s why everything got so repetitive. xD Anyway, even though I didn’t have anything spooky for you today (I think that “Turning the blade” has had enough of that) I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween!


End file.
